Beware the Mom Jeans
We are not 20 anymore. We have kids. We go to their school and meet their teachers. We socialize with other moms. Can we still wear low-rise jeans, tank tops and miniskirts?
If we accept the term “age-appropriate”, is there such a thing as “mom-appropriate”?
I don’t think I have ever accepted the term “age-appropriate”. To me it means that a person’s attitudes towards life, her personal style, her choices, should be defined by her age. This is very limiting. Why should anyone be defined by her age? Similarly, why should anyone be defined by the fact that she is a mother? Isn’t she still the same person she was before?
A couple of years ago, Jill Hudson Neal wrote in the Washington Post about what she called the Mom Jeans phenomenon. She explained that the term ‘mom jeans’ was introduced as part of a hilarious fictitious Saturday Night Live commercial with an unforgettable tag line: “This Mother’s Day, don’t give Mom that bottle of perfume. Give her something that says, ‘I’m not a woman anymore. I’m a mom!’ “.
Mom Jeans are cheap, soft and comfortable, but their very high waist, generous cut around the derriere and thighs and tapered leg opening are extremely unflattering. According to Neal, some moms feel that dressing in a way that’s figure-flattering is inappropriate for a mom. That “if you’re not martyring yourself, and that extends to your physical appearance, then you’re not doing your job as a parent.”
But do we really have to choose between being a “mother” and being a “woman”? A mother is also a woman and a person. A mother can be stylish and fabulous and sexy and interesting. A mother can have an engaging conversation that is not centered on child rearing and a mother can wear clothes that are young and flatter her figure.
Of course, a mother can choose to wear mom jeans if she feels comfortable in them and is not interested, or is opposed to, following fashion dictation and being fashionable or trendy. Either way, it’s a personal choice that should not be dictated by social norms and expectations.
Photo by Malingering
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Jill responds:
Posted: March 5th, 2008 at 11:02 am →
I probably do dress differently now that I’m a mom. There are things I would wear when going out but not to mu kids’ school, so that’s an important distinction as well. Not so much “mom appropriate” as “school appropriate”.
But I do not own mom jeans and have no plans on going that route anytime soon.
ironman responds:
Posted: March 5th, 2008 at 12:15 pm →
Those jeans are gross. Moms can be as hot as anyone. Why give up on yourself just because you have kids?
Jen responds:
Posted: March 5th, 2008 at 3:35 pm →
I think you do need to look “appropriate” at your kids’ school. But mom jeans is not appropriate - it’s just ugly.
hyrcan responds:
Posted: June 24th, 2008 at 8:08 am →
Personally I don’t think it should matter what people wear. We each have our own sense of style, tastes and standards. Wear ‘mom jeans’ if you want. Wear a short skirt. It shouldn’t matter.
The problem lies in the why. Why are you choosing to wear those pants? Is it because you feel that as a mother you aren’t allowed to look (and in some cases feel) attractive? Are you wearing that mini-skirt because you want to meet the social ideal of beauty?
As you can see the why behind what we wear, or expect others to wear is a bigger problem than what we actually have on.
And it certainly isn’t limited to women who have had children.
Though I do think there is something that is limited to them and it’s this idea that when a woman has a child they cease to be a woman and suddenly become some strange creature called a “Mom” devoid any of the feelings, needs, desires of a woman.
Although the situation you are in needs to be taken in consideration and appropriate attire is suggested. You shouldn’t wear the same dress at the kid’s school that you’d wear out at a dance club. Though as others pointed out that’s not a matter of being “mom appropriate” but of being “school appropriate.”
“A mother can be stylish and fabulous and sexy and interesting.” Without a doubt.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: June 24th, 2008 at 12:21 pm →
@ Jill: I agree with “school appropriate”.
@ ironman: “Why give up on yourself just because you have kids?” - I agree.
@ Jen: It’s true that you don’t need to wear unflattering clothes in order to look appropriate.
@ hyrcan: “Though I do think there is something that is limited to them and it’s this idea that when a woman has a child they cease to be a woman and suddenly become some strange creature called a “Mom” devoid any of the feelings, needs, desires of a woman.” EXACTLY. And I don’t think a mother should feel this way!