A New Study Gives Moms Yet Another Reason to Feel Guilty
A new study from the University of Rochester found that sickness levels were higher in children of anxious or depressed parents. According to the study, “total number of illnesses was significantly higher in the children of parents with higher levels of emotional stress”.
I would love to know who came up with the idea for this study. The BBC article says that the study was led by Dr. Mary Caserta. Is she a mother? Why would any researcher think it’s a good idea to inform anxious parents that they are damaging their kids, thus giving them even more reasons to feel anxious and stressed?
It reminds me of the 2003 study that concluded that the more time kids spend in childcare, the more aggressive they become. Remember that one? I always wondered about the motives behind initiating that type of research. They better not be “it’s a hot topic that will make me famous”.
Parents, and especially moms, face ugly guilt demons constantly. A friend told me once that she experiences guilt every single day. The thing is, she’s an amazing mother. She works hard to support her family financially. She loves her child dearly. No one can make her child laugh like she can. The kid is bright, happy and healthy. So why does she feel so guilty? Because she thinks she works too much. And because guilt is apparently part of motherhood, just like love and self-sacrifice are.
Other moms feel guilty too and blogging is a great outlet for that guilt.
Stacey says: “I know I feel guilty for working, and that’s why I kill myself taking my oldest daughter to school every morning even though I don’t have to… but I figure, since I’m not home with her, and I’m not there to pick her up, the least I could do is drop her off in the morning, make sure her day starts on the right foot, chit chat with her teachers, and have some semblance of being an involved parent.”
Elizabeth York writes about trying to work from home while a babysitter keeps her son away from her home office. “One day when he was about 4, he pounded on that door as I was giving a teleconference to some very important European clients… finally he shouted with all his might; “I hate you because you work!” I curled up under my desk that afternoon and cried so hard from that guilty feeling that I was failing everyone, that I almost made myself sick.”
So you see, dear researchers, we don’t need any more reasons to feel guilty. We are doing splendidly well in the guilt department all by ourselves. Next time you are trying to come up with a brilliant idea for a new study, could you please look elsewhere? Thank you.
Photo by BrittneyBush
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Jill responds:
Posted: March 21st, 2008 at 3:42 pm →
Wow. This is unbelievable. I do remember that 2003 study because I remember how guilty it made me feel.
Jen responds:
Posted: March 22nd, 2008 at 11:19 am →
I am an anxious mom. But I love my kids and I do the very best I can. They are great kids and they happen to be very healthy, knock wood.
“I always wondered about the motives behind initiating that type of research. They better not be ‘it’s a hot topic that will make me famous’ “. Sadly, I think they are.
This Week’s Most Popular Posts - MomGrind responds:
Posted: March 23rd, 2008 at 4:13 am →
[…] Mommy Guilt: Researchers Found Another Reason For Us To Feel Guilty Dear researchers: mothers don’t need any more reasons to feel guilty. We are doing splendidly well in the guilt department all by ourselves. Next time you are trying to come up with a brilliant idea for a new study, could you please look elsewhere? […]