Comments on: Co-Sleeping Today, Overweight Kids Tomorrow? http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/ Mommy Blogger Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:53:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.2 By: MomGrind http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-3305 MomGrind Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:36:26 +0000 http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-3305 Shoshana: I do believe that each family should do what works for them. Studies are often biased and for almost every study you can find another study that says the opposite. Shoshana: I do believe that each family should do what works for them. Studies are often biased and for almost every study you can find another study that says the opposite.

]]> By: Shoshana http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-514 Shoshana Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:08:58 +0000 http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-514 My children all sleep with me until they're about 3 years old. It works for me, and so far, my 3rd child is overweight by 20 pounds maybe...but he's not anywhere near obese. Interesting study, but I don't think we should hang great things to lack of sleep. My children all sleep with me until they’re about 3 years old. It works for me, and so far, my 3rd child is overweight by 20 pounds maybe…but he’s not anywhere near obese.

Interesting study, but I don’t think we should hang great things to lack of sleep.

]]> By: MomGrind http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-492 MomGrind Tue, 22 Apr 2008 04:01:29 +0000 http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-492 Hey Amy, Thanks for your thoughtful comment. Obviously, my title was meant as an attention-getter. I think the article does make a connection between responding to your child at night and creating sleep problems, that may later on cause behavior and weight issues. I do agree that since studies tend to be contradicting and confusing, it is best to follow our instincts and do what is best for us. Hey Amy,
Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
Obviously, my title was meant as an attention-getter.
I think the article does make a connection between responding to your child at night and creating sleep problems, that may later on cause behavior and weight issues.

I do agree that since studies tend to be contradicting and confusing, it is best to follow our instincts and do what is best for us.

]]> By: Crunchy Domestic Goddess http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-491 Crunchy Domestic Goddess Tue, 22 Apr 2008 03:42:46 +0000 http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-491 I have to say I wasn't really fond of the title of your post (since that's not what I took away from the original article), but it certainly was attention-getting. From the original article, "Two additional reports, also appearing in the current issue of Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, suggest that children's sleeplessness may be associated with an increased risk of being overweight and having emotional and behavioral difficulties in adolescence and adulthood." So it seems to me they are saying that if children are not getting enough sleep, that could lead to an increased risk of being overweight in adulthood, not that co-sleeping causes it. And I wonder if aboriginal people who co-sleep with their children find that their kids do not sleep well, enough hours or are overweight as adults? Just food for thought. ;) Everyone is entitled to their opinion and to do what they believe is best for their child and their family. Regardless of what *this* study says, I will continue to follow my instincts with regard to parenting both in the day time and at night. It works for us. :) For the record, 10 years ago another Harvard study showed that letting children cry may lead to more fears and tears among adults. And, from another study (4 years ago): "A mental health expert warns that fashionable advice to ignore your child’s tears may cause lifelong harm." http://crunchydomesticgoddess.com/2005/02/26/everyone-likes-to-feel-validated/ It's hard to know who to trust, that's why I say go with your gut. :) I have to say I wasn’t really fond of the title of your post (since that’s not what I took away from the original article), but it certainly was attention-getting. From the original article, “Two additional reports, also appearing in the current issue of Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, suggest that children’s sleeplessness may be associated with an increased risk of being overweight and having emotional and behavioral difficulties in adolescence and adulthood.” So it seems to me they are saying that if children are not getting enough sleep, that could lead to an increased risk of being overweight in adulthood, not that co-sleeping causes it. And I wonder if aboriginal people who co-sleep with their children find that their kids do not sleep well, enough hours or are overweight as adults? Just food for thought. ;)

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and to do what they believe is best for their child and their family. Regardless of what *this* study says, I will continue to follow my instincts with regard to parenting both in the day time and at night. It works for us. :)

For the record, 10 years ago another Harvard study showed that letting children cry may lead to more fears and tears among adults. And, from another study (4 years ago): “A mental health expert warns that fashionable advice to ignore your child’s tears may cause lifelong harm.” http://crunchydomesticgoddess.com/2005/02/26/everyone-likes-to-feel-validated/

It’s hard to know who to trust, that’s why I say go with your gut. :)

]]> By: MomGrind http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-489 MomGrind Mon, 21 Apr 2008 22:58:58 +0000 http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-489 @ Jill: smooch. :) @ Lia: I accept that people do self-soothe, although the question is - how early should self soothing start? 6 months? 18 months? I also think it's important to understand when it's a "sad" or "scared" crying and when it's a "habit" or "feel like seeing mom" crying. I trust that parents can tell the difference when it comes to their own kids. @ Jill: smooch. :)

@ Lia: I accept that people do self-soothe, although the question is - how early should self soothing start? 6 months? 18 months? I also think it’s important to understand when it’s a “sad” or “scared” crying and when it’s a “habit” or “feel like seeing mom” crying. I trust that parents can tell the difference when it comes to their own kids.

]]> By: Lia http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-488 Lia Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:27:08 +0000 http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-488 I agree with most that you have to do what's right for your family. Where I disagree with you is where you say that you don't self soothe because I don't believe that. Everyone does. You are down so you watch TV or read. You feel shitty so you get a pedicure or a cup of coffee. we all do it. yes we rely on others at times but not always. We let our child cry because at some point is habit. They aren't really hungry but just want to see mom. Sorry but I don't think that is healthy for anyone. I don't wake my husband in the middle of night to help get me back to sleep. Just a difference point of view. I agree with most that you have to do what’s right for your family. Where I disagree with you is where you say that you don’t self soothe because I don’t believe that. Everyone does. You are down so you watch TV or read. You feel shitty so you get a pedicure or a cup of coffee. we all do it. yes we rely on others at times but not always. We let our child cry because at some point is habit. They aren’t really hungry but just want to see mom. Sorry but I don’t think that is healthy for anyone. I don’t wake my husband in the middle of night to help get me back to sleep.

Just a difference point of view.

]]> By: Jill http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-485 Jill Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:30:07 +0000 http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-485 If you take down this post, I will lose all respect for you. It's bad enough that you are in the habit of writing personal posts, then taking them down after a few days. This is a legitimate point of view. I let my own kids cry, and I am in no way offended by what you have said. It's your opinion. Stand behind it. If you take down this post, I will lose all respect for you. It’s bad enough that you are in the habit of writing personal posts, then taking them down after a few days. This is a legitimate point of view. I let my own kids cry, and I am in no way offended by what you have said. It’s your opinion. Stand behind it.

]]> By: MomGrind http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-483 MomGrind Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:44:47 +0000 http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-483 Hi Jessica, thank you for not yelling at me. :) It sounds like you did the right thing for your situation. I have a close friend whose toddler is - as you put it - a VERY smart kid - and it looks like she will need to put a stop to what's going on at night over there soon. Her husband volunteered to do it while I take her on a girls-only weekend. :) Hi Jessica, thank you for not yelling at me. :)

It sounds like you did the right thing for your situation. I have a close friend whose toddler is - as you put it - a VERY smart kid - and it looks like she will need to put a stop to what’s going on at night over there soon. Her husband volunteered to do it while I take her on a girls-only weekend. :)

]]> By: Jessica (aka Rose) http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-482 Jessica (aka Rose) Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:24:01 +0000 http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-482 I'm glad you stopped by my blog! How coincidental that you posted about this the same day I posted about finally letting my daughter cry herself to sleep. If I had read this even last week I would have pumped my fist in the air and screamed "yes!" Then Monday I realized, not that crying it out was humane etc, but that what I was doing wasn't helping her anyway. We never let our first child cry it out, she figured out how to get herself to sleep on her own. This little one is much, much smarter let's say. She figured out very early on what she had to do to get me to let her sleep with me all the time. In theory I'm fine with that, except that it recently really started to mess with my sleep and that in turn has kept me from being the mommy I want to be. I would wake up so tired and cranky that I was snapping at everyone and losing patience over silly unimportant things. Being sleep deprived makes me less efficient at work, keeping me there and away from my family longer hours during the day. As long as Lucie was sleeping in her own crib until 4 or 5 in the morning, even if I had to get up to feed her I was getting enough sleep. Having her in our bed from 1am on... not so much any more. Sorry for the long rant... really just wanted to say: At the end of the day it's more about what works for your family and less about what the experts say. I hated letting Lucie cry, but I'm LOVING the fact that she's sleeping better, and we're back to cuddling in bed just for the last hour of the night. She's better rested, I'm better rested, and we're all a lot happier. Thanks for posting the other side of the argument! I’m glad you stopped by my blog! How coincidental that you posted about this the same day I posted about finally letting my daughter cry herself to sleep.
If I had read this even last week I would have pumped my fist in the air and screamed “yes!” Then Monday I realized, not that crying it out was humane etc, but that what I was doing wasn’t helping her anyway. We never let our first child cry it out, she figured out how to get herself to sleep on her own. This little one is much, much smarter let’s say. She figured out very early on what she had to do to get me to let her sleep with me all the time. In theory I’m fine with that, except that it recently really started to mess with my sleep and that in turn has kept me from being the mommy I want to be.
I would wake up so tired and cranky that I was snapping at everyone and losing patience over silly unimportant things. Being sleep deprived makes me less efficient at work, keeping me there and away from my family longer hours during the day.
As long as Lucie was sleeping in her own crib until 4 or 5 in the morning, even if I had to get up to feed her I was getting enough sleep. Having her in our bed from 1am on… not so much any more.
Sorry for the long rant… really just wanted to say: At the end of the day it’s more about what works for your family and less about what the experts say. I hated letting Lucie cry, but I’m LOVING the fact that she’s sleeping better, and we’re back to cuddling in bed just for the last hour of the night. She’s better rested, I’m better rested, and we’re all a lot happier.
Thanks for posting the other side of the argument!

]]> By: MomGrind http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-481 MomGrind Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:15:17 +0000 http://momgrind.com/2008/04/21/study-co-sleeping-causes-long-term-damage-to-children/#comment-481 Well, Jen, I already received several angry emails about this post, including two that announced they are hereby unsubscribing from my blog. It's a good thing I talked with Jill who told me to not, under any circumstances, take down a post if I believe in it. So I won't take it down. I do agree, that parents should do what works best for them and their family. I just don't want scientists to lay a guilt trip and try to scare parents who choose to allow interrupted sleep to go on for longer than the first few months. Well, Jen, I already received several angry emails about this post, including two that announced they are hereby unsubscribing from my blog.

It’s a good thing I talked with Jill who told me to not, under any circumstances, take down a post if I believe in it. So I won’t take it down.

I do agree, that parents should do what works best for them and their family. I just don’t want scientists to lay a guilt trip and try to scare parents who choose to allow interrupted sleep to go on for longer than the first few months.

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