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Being A Lawyer Sucked

73 Responses to: “Being A Lawyer Sucked”

1. Avital responds:
   Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 4:13 am →

   I have already told you once that I had the exact same experience. From a miserable lawyer (albeit a successful one) to a happy foreigner

2. Scott McIntyre responds:
   Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 4:39 am →

   So you were an attorney, Vered? Well, that explains your comprehensive ‘Legal’ page!

   Thank you for sharing some of your journey towards personal growth and fulfilment. You certainly sound as if you have travelled far- in more ways than one.

   My own challenging situation happened when I was 13 years old.

   One evening, I started to develop severe pains in my stomach. Over a few hours, the pain worsened. To cut a long story short, 36 hours later- after a misdiagnosis by the local Doctor- I was rushed to Hospital with peritonitis (a burst appendix).

   The Doctors performed emergency surgery on me, and told my parents that had I been delayed for another 2 hours, the poison would have been too far spread throughout my body to have been inoperable. Basically, for the want of 120 minutes, I would have been dead.

   I had a difficult and long recovery which, as a 13 year old, was quite difficult to deal with.

   However, it taught me the powerful lesson that life is ultra precious and needs to be lived to its fullest potential.

   This is my driving aim in life- to live it as much as possible. That, to me, is a blessing

3. RJ responds:
   Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 4:49 am →

   “It is never too late to do something else, you can re-invent yourself as many times as you want.”
   My parents told me when I professed my profound dislike for my chosen career at the time in IT. Since then I’ve gone back to school and went into another field, and it’s the happiest I’ve ever been. Having said that, I know that I can always do something else in a few years if this career starts sucking monkey butt too ^_^

4. Suzie responds:
   Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 6:14 am →

   Its so important to do what is right for you in life. Life’s too short to go around hating what you do. I mean we spend most of our lives at work right? No education is ever wasted. So good for you for taking a chance and making a change.

5. David "CrazyKinux" Perry responds:
   Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 6:16 am →

   In late March I was laid-off. Most people would have seen this as a catastrophe, but I chose otherwise. Let me explain.

   In January of this year, my wife returned to work after a year at home on maternity leave. At the time I was struggling with an insane workload, schedule, commute time (3 hours a day) and a lot of work-related stress. On top of that, my wife would have to rush home every day after work, hopping on a downtown bus, then a commute on the inner-city train, then driving to the daycare to pick up our daughter in time for dinner. Let’s just say that things weren’t going as best as they could.

   So when I became a laid-off-dad, certain opportunities presented themselves to us. After some discussion with my better-half, it was agreed that I would take a few months off, before getting back on the market in early fall.

   So now morning weekdays are much more enjoyable. After making breakfast for both, I drop my wife at the train station, drop off my daughter at day care, then head home to do chores. Let me tell you, this doesn’t feels as though I’m unemployed. Au contraire! It’s just that the pay is lousy! Later in the day, I’ll pick up my daughter at daycare, play with her back home or at the park, get dinner ready, then back to the train station to pick up my wife.

   Let’s just say that the stress level is way down! And I get to spend a lot more time with my daughter.

   I’m a very happy dad!!

6. Dot H. responds:
   Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 6:23 am →

   What am I going to do with all these f*cking lemons???

7. Max Forlani responds:
   Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 6:46 am →

   Hi Vered,

   I had a more or less similar experience. After graduating from university, I landed several jobs, ranging from teaching to working over six years as a web developer. Having a 9-5 job and being single at the time, I had plenty of time to spare and became heavily engaged in volunteer work at a tennis club.

   I had a financially very comfortable life, yet was missing something. Love, for sure, but challenges as well. My life felt a bit like Bill Murray’s in Groundhog Day.
   That’s when I decided to move to Istanbul to pursue a newly-found love over the internet. As it happens, I have been writing the story in detail for the past month on my new blog The Forlanis (forlanis.istanbultrails.com).

   I’m now still living in Istanbul, living a much more difficult but much fuller life, providing me with a lot of satisfaction. I guess sometimes, you just have to follow your heart, how crazy it me seem.

   Cheers,
   Max

8. Al at 7P responds:
   Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 7:09 am →

   There’s only been a handful of stories shared so far, but I’ve been impressed by them.

   I can’t say that I personally had a lot of lemons happen to me, but a lot has happened to my family. I think that’s why my family is pretty close – we were each other’s support group. Stronger family bond would be my lemonade then.

   Turning lemonade into lemons – that’s a good one!

9. Hunter Nuttall responds:
   Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 7:19 am →

   Vered, I’m so glad you had the guts to change course. I don’t think there’s any question at all that you made the right move by leaving Dewey, Cheatem & Howe.

   I’m currently trying to get laid off from my sinking ship company. I don’t have a story yet, but I probably will at some point.

10. Joel Falconer responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 7:19 am →

    I’ve had a lot of these. Some of the best examples I can’t tell you because that would infringe on the privacy of those who dealt the lemons and were later forgiven.

    When I was 16, my then-girlfriend became pregnant. As you can imagine, that’s daunting and scary enough as it is, and to make it worse, my family was very religious. So, of course, my family’s ill-chosen church fiend friends thought we were Satan’s spawn and all that, and you have no idea how many times I learned that apparently, our lives were over and we were now royally screwed. According to most people, not only would we never make any decent money because we’d be uneducated McDonald’s cashiers, our new family wouldn’t last until the end of the pregnancy.

    The reason I love this story is because it ends like this: we’re still together, married, and happy, and another kid is on the way. We have more education between us than the ten or twenty of these sick freaks that we endured put together, and I earn in a day at home what they make in a week of hard labor.

    I don’t say any of that to boast, and I’m typically a very humble guy and like to keep private details private, so be assured I’m not here to say “I’m educated and well-off and the churchies aren’t.” But what I’m saying is not only can you make lemonade from your lemons, you can do it even better when nobody thinks you can.

11. Kelly@SHE-POWER responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 7:22 am →

    I’m not sure what to write for this because I have an unfortunately wide repertoire to choose from. In my first 20 years I was given a lot of stinking, rotting lemons and so the fact that my life now closely resembles lemonade is an achievement in itself.

    I’ll choose something light for the sake of not sounding like a bad soap opera and say that I moved ALOT as a kid. My parents were regular nomadic hippies, always searching for something and dragging us kids along for the ride. I changed schools 14 or 15 times and I have lived in over 40 houses in my almost 37 years. Constantly adjusting to a new environment (not always safe) and being the new kid in school means you spend your childhood either becoming a friendless outsider or an over compensating people pleaser. I was the latter and to some extent, I still deal with the downsides of that today.

    But the upside of these experiences are that I have lived amongst many different types of people. I know that my reality is not everyone’s. I know how privileged I am to have love, education, intelligence and a strong, never say die personality. Other people who have seen what I have seen and gone through what I have do not always fare as well.

    Being the outsider has made me empathetic and open minded and adjustable to change. It meant I started on a spiritual journey (I thought there has to be more than this shitty reality) in my teens and I learned early in life that I must take responsibilty for myself. I embrace change and am comfortable taking risks, I can make friends with almost anyone and I do not take life for granted. A hard childhood can be your friend in adulthood. You just have to survive it first.

    Kelly

12. Ann at One Bag Nation responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 8:07 am →

    Hi Vered;
    I went to an “elite” women’s college where the pressure was enormous. Many of the students go on to law school (not me!), but when I went back for a reunion several years ago, I couldn’t believe how many of them were miserable! I think sometimes we get on the treadmill and suddenly we want off!

    A friend of mine left law a few years ago and now works in Afghanistan bringing education to girls there; she’s definitely making lemonade – and not just for herself!

13. hank responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 8:30 am →

    Hey Vered – thanks for digging in on the meme setup – it is interesting to see everyones different points of view and challenges they’ve had. What I’ve found with the meme is that everyone enjoys talking about “the time” because it shows to them and everyone that they were able to persevere through it all!

14. Don Mills Diva responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 8:47 am →

    It’s obviously a huge cliche but higher education is never wasted, even if you never work in the field you study. There is a discipline that you learn earning a degree that is important no matter what you do…

15. Natural responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 9:04 am →

    well i work for lawyers, so i can understand how the life got sucked out of you. i’m still waiting on that challenging situation in my life to turn into lemon-aid or maybe everyday is such a challenge that it’s the norm for me.

    i do anticipate getting fired or laid off and then that forcing me to do something i’ve always wanted to do full-time, write.

16. Tim Brownson responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 9:18 am →

    Well as RJ so eloquently put it, my job sniffed monkey butt too. In fact it sniffed lots of monkeys butts, a couple of chimpanzees and a warthogs too.

    I earned lots of money and had lots of grief to go with it. Then I found out about life coaching and I was mentally gone from that day.

    Now I earn a fraction of the money, but have a fraction of the grief and 100x the happiness. That sounds like a great deal to me.

    Tim Brownson’s last blog post..Why People Are Unhappy

17. Sarah responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 9:34 am →

    HI Vered,

    I had a different type of experience. My training is as a concert pianist but most concert pianists make their living teaching, and I did not think I wanted to spend my life teaching piano.

    So instead I got married and had 3 kids and am now a stay home mom.

    No regrets here, but sometimes I wish I’d kept up my playing better. I’m starting to work more on it now and have thrown around the idea of entering the Van Cliburn amateur competition, but I have to be 35 before I can do that. It gives me a goal to work toward though!

    In the meantime, I consider my job as Mom, wife and homeschooler to be the most important of my life, and I can’t imagine giving any of this up for a different career. I am blessed though, in that my DH’s job is such that I CAN do what I do.

    Sarah’s last blog post..The King of Fruit – A Love Story.

18. Becky responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 9:54 am →

    Oh man, sister, there are too many to count. I may not come across on my blog as such, but I’m a pretty cheerful person. Let’s see…

    I’m trying to think of the omnipresent nausea as a gift for not packing on the pounds with this pregnancy. Sadly, I’m still packing on the pounds, but oh well.

    Becky’s last blog post..Aunt Becky’s Electra Complex

19. MizFit responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 12:01 pm →

    thanks so much for sharing this!
    perhaps because Im a newish reader I had no idea you were a recovering lawyer (rimshot! actually NOT. my husband is an atty in house but my best friend is a lawyer by education, not using and loves that joke ).

    so trite but so true that you are always using your (ones) education no matter what you do.

    love,

    the english lit undergrad and masters in counseling

    MizFit’s last blog post..Link Love. Subtitle: Im gunning for an award with regards to my creative post titles.

20. Marelisa responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 12:20 pm →

    I enjoyed working as a labor attorney for the Panama Canal Commission, but then when the canal transferred over to the Republic of Panama everything changed. For starters, the General Attorney changed and the new one was the boss from hell. I ended up leaving. How did I turn lemons into lemonade? Well, I know that job bolstered my self-confidence (I was really good at it) and my ability to get things done. On the other hand, I put in a lot more hours than I should have, and I’ll never get those hours back. I guess the lemonade is still a little bit bitter, but I’m working on making it sweeter.

21. Ellen Wilson responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 12:55 pm →

    Vered,
    Happiness is the main ingredient in our life recipes. Okay, that’s corny, but maybe I’m still unconsciously on the goat heads.
    I used to berate myself for not “properly” using my education with my two degrees. I have always wanted to do what I’m doing now with freelance writing and photography and I have desperately tried to mix two jobs at once. Well, you can guess what suffered, the writing and photography of course.
    I’m not making tons of money right now, but I’m not dealing with tons of stress either. I’m starting to feel much more centered and balanced.
    Cheers to you and the balanced life!
    Ellen

    Ellen Wilson’s last blog post..Interpreting Art

22. Ellen Wilson responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 12:57 pm →

    Interesting comments. I wish I had time to read them all. But this is the downside of freelancing, you have to pull yourself back when things need to get done!
    E

    Ellen Wilson’s last blog post..Interpreting Art

23. The Financial Philosopher responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 1:13 pm →

    Vered:

    I have learned, both personally and professionally, that the discovery of “who we are” is often a process of discovering “who we are not.” This discovery process requires that we recognize and embrace the tragedies as well as the triumphs as learning experiences and as opportunities to grow…

    Without this knowledge and wisdom, I would have never started my own business and would likely be less of a father to my two young children…

    “You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self. Don’t turn away from possible futures before you’re certain you don’t have anything to learn from them.” ~ Richard Bach

    Thanks for the post…

    Kent (The Financial Philosopher)

    The Financial Philosopher’s last blog post..Dying to Live: Thank You, Randy Pausch

24. Writer Dad responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 1:50 pm →

    Hi Vered,

    I thought I posted earlier, but I must not have hit send. I’m sorry if I’m being dim, and simply missing the comment. I don’t mean to repeat myself. Anyway, my wife and I are two sides of a coin. She spent her twenties in school, accumulating degrees. I skipped college because I thought the whole enterprise sounded rather dull. In fact, I left high school my junior year after I got in an argument with my guidance councilor (true and hilarious story). It was my ultimate revenge on the school system that I married the best teacher I ever met, and took her with me. Three years ago, we each left our jobs and opened up a preschool of our own, so that we could be with our children as much as possible while they were still to little to think we were smothering them. Everyone in her district told her she was crazy; the place I worked said they’d hold my spot. I said don’t bother, and we’ve never been happier.

25. Urban Panther responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 2:23 pm →

    This is a tough one to answer because 99.9% of the time, I don’t see lemons as lemons. Sure, a situation might not be a pleasant one , but I add it to my growth and learning experiences. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Pollyanna, but I never really dwell on the negative aspect. I think it’s because negativity requires a lot of effort, and I am way too lazy for that. Thinking..thinking..nope, did a quick scan of my past and all I could come up with is that each experience in my life (good and bad) has simply led me to where I am now. And where I am now isn’t lemonade. It’s a chocolate martini!

    Urban Panther’s last blog post..I just don’t get it

26. Barbara Swafford responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm →

    Good for you Vered, you sound so happy with your life as it is now.

    Once when our business was slow, due to the economy, we diversified by adding more to our list of services. By doing so, we made it through the tough times. Keeping our eyes open to opportunities is what saved us.

    Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Free ‘n Easy Friday Finds – Blog Protection

27. Sara at On Simplicilty responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 3:29 pm →

    I’m kinda with Urban Panther on this one. I’ve been quite lucky in life and would hesitate to call anything that’s happened to me a lemon. The worst that happened was a layoff, but it was the perfect push to bail from a culture that wasn’t a fit for me anymore–and get severance for it in the process. However, I did do what many others have mentioned: got a postgrad degree in a career I bailed out of within a year.

    I wouldn’t call that year wasted. I learned a heck of a lot and also got to experience more of the college camaradie than I did all four years at a university. The lemonade of the situation is that I learned some limits, and I found another reason to adore my parents. They never said boo about it, and supported my decision to change careers completely, even though the schooling was largely on their dime.

    Sara at On Simplicilty’s last blog post..Three Things You’re Good At

28. Sterling responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 3:37 pm →

    Hi Vered, I love the message of changing career to live a fuller lifestyle. 7 years ago I had a similar experience and felt that working in corporate environments was sucking the life out of me. Life definitely has been much fuller and more rewarding since I went self-employed.

    Not only has your higher education proven valuable at your current job, but it’s helped you develop an impressive Terms of Use that sparked a discussion on Barbara’s Blogging Without A Blog.

    Sterling’s last blog post..The #1 Problem With Small Business Websites

29. Ricardo Bueno responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 3:53 pm →

    Heck, I’d rather do something I enjoy and live happily than live a life of stress and being depressed…

    I say good for you! Oh, and I happen to think that no education is a wasted education.

30. Shilpan | successsoul.com responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 4:58 pm →

    Vered -

    I also never enjoyed being an Engineer. I was raised in a culture that created so many miserable engineers including me. I’m happy to realize that and get out of that societal suicide.

    Shilpan

31. Bamboo Forest responds:
    Posted: July 25th, 2008 at 5:29 pm →

    I can’t speak of anything specifically. There are many, as with everyone. However, there is a truth… A challenging situation can make us bitter or better. The choice is always ours. And how we apply ourselves in the midst of it – is what decides the outcome.

    Bamboo Forest’s last blog post..7 Ways You can Become Rich

32. Linda Abbit responds:
    Posted: July 26th, 2008 at 12:17 am →

    I’m a late comer today, but want to applaud you, Vered, for making life changes to have a fulfilled life.

    I have two degrees in Education that I never really used to the utmost, but no regrets there. Sometimes I’d like to go back to college full time, not realizing how good I had it then. But that’s another topic!

    Being a stay-at-home Mom is the best, yet most challenging, job I’ve ever had and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

    As for lemonades in my life, the only big one was being diagnosed with breast cancer when Robbie was in 1st grade. Happy outcome — I’ve been cancer free for over 12 years now. Many people said to me that I was so “courageous,” but I never saw myself as doing anything other than making lemonade. The biggest lesson I learned is that life’s short, so live each day as if it’s your birthday! L’chaim!

    Linda Abbit’s last blog post..A Big Welcome to All My Visitors!

33. Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map responds:
    Posted: July 26th, 2008 at 12:39 am →

    So many stories here; and all of them inspirational!

    I gave up a cushy banking job that paid part of my car, club memberships and vacations (yes!….holidays) to become a homemaker. My husband and I decided that one parent needed to stay home for my girls.

    Then some years after I quit my job, my husband himself got tired of his. He gave up a potentially seven figure sum from his old firm, to start from scratch a company. It was no man’s land! No one had a similar set up. It was tough going initially but I’m glad to say that we’ve turned the corner.

    If I had not quit, I would not have gotten bored and stumbled upon blogging and having my own business. I realise that there is much more to life than just a job! I am definitely much happier! And so is my husband!

    Evelyn

    Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map’s last blog post..How To Do Pendulum Dowsing

34. Davina responds:
    Posted: July 26th, 2008 at 12:19 pm →

    Hi Vered. You sound pumped! Must have been a good decision you made all those years ago huh?

    My current jobless situation and business development is a lemon that I’m tasting, and I haven’t been able to find the sugar yet to make the lemonade. Maybe I should re-read your previous post Twelve years ago, it was a different story…

    I was laid off from my job at a publishing company in Toronto due to a merger. The “new” company offered me a job which I turned down. I took my severance, bought a computer and started freelancing. My salary tripled and I had a blast!

    Davina’s last blog post..Core Value Statements

35. Cath Lawson responds:
    Posted: July 26th, 2008 at 6:54 pm →

    Hi Vered – I came over here earlier in the day and you hadn’t posted. And now this huge thread of stories is here. It’s probably because I’m on GMT – I’m always late to the party.

    There’s so many interesting stories on here – and so many of you seem to have taken salary cuts yet you’re much happier. It’s interesting how you mentioned feeling guilty. I guess a lot of people stay in an unhappy situation because of guilt. But it’s great that you no longer feel guilty.

    Really – I don’t have an interesting story of dramatic changes. I’ve always had a good idea of what I wanted to do but I had certain relatives who put me down – a lot. In short, I had the confidence of a gnat. To cut a long story short, until recently, I did what other people wanted me to do, rather than what I wanted to do. I guess a big turning point for me came in Autumn 2004 when I finally plucked up the courage to kick my ex husband out.

    And most recently, I liquidated a business that wasn’t working for me. I guess I finally realised that it was possible to have the freedom to go out and achieve what I wanted – if I made that freedom for myself. What helped most was the inspiration I drew from all you awesome people in the blogosphere and the soul reading Akemi did for me.

    By the way Vered – were you actually born in Israel, or did you move there from somewhere else?

36. Dot H. responds:
    Posted: July 26th, 2008 at 8:08 pm →

    I don’t have any lemons in my career any more. After i dropped out of a Ph.D. program, I became a medical secretary and then a legal secretary, or as I referred to it, “just a secretary.” After 17 years as a legal secretary, I was able to move into software support (within a law firm) and eventually to my goal of programming, which I thought would get me more respect. I worked in IT for a total of six years before I was laid off after the dot.coms failed and jobs dried up. I decided to stop pursuing database programming and go back to looking for a legal secretary job.

    Once I was a legal secretary again, about 5-1/2 years ago, I found I actually preferred it. And it wasn’t until just recently that I was able to put into words why I preferred it and why I dropped out of the Ph.D. program — it was because I hated selling my brain (prostituting it as my friend Gregory calls it). I wanted to have the time to think my own thoughts, and not have to force myself to come up with ideas for things I didn’t necessarily support or care about. Secretarial work requires thought and can involve as much responsibility as one wants to take on, but there are also the mindless, repetitive tasks, like labeling and stuffing envelopes, that allow the brain to wander where it will.

    I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but for a long time didn’t have the courage to pursue it, and now that I have several incurable (so far) illnesses, I’m grateful for the health benefits I have. I’m unable to start my own business because stress makes me sicker. I’ve gradually steered myself away from the more stressful areas of secretarial work such as those with heavy overtime. Now at least I have the freedom to compose articles in my head while doing mindless tasks, rather than trying to figure out which punctuation mark is missing from my code, making the database interface malfunction.

37. Haveil Havalim #175 — Through the Eyes of Frume Sarah « Frume Sarah’s World responds:
    Posted: July 27th, 2008 at 12:43 am →

    [...] how a location change made a positive impact on Vered’s [...]

38. Alik | PracticeThis.com responds:
    Posted: July 27th, 2008 at 3:25 am →

    Claim your life back, no matter what.
    Great move, Vered, and very inspiring too.
    Thanks for sharing this great story.

    Alik | PracticeThis.com’s last blog post..Kaizen – Continuous Improvement The Japanese Way

39. San Diego Momma responds:
    Posted: July 27th, 2008 at 9:19 am →

    Great story, Vered. I’d love to hear more about your history.

    As for me, I’m a lot like She-Power. I moved around at least once a year as a child, and constantly found myself in new cities, at new schools, with new friends.

    Luckily, this all resulted in making me a more open, flexible, tolerant person and for that I’m thankful.

    I wouldn’t change all that moving for the world.

    More recently, I quit my job as a communications director for a non-profit and began to work from home as a freelancer. It took a lot of getting used to, and the drop in income was difficult, but I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process and started my blog, which has quite literally saved me creatively.

40. Zandria responds:
    Posted: July 29th, 2008 at 8:23 pm →

    I didn’t know you were an attorney in Israel! Wow. I’m so glad you made the decision that was right for you and that you’re so much happier now.

41. On Simplicity » Blog Archive » Weekly Links: Dog Hair Edition responds:
    Posted: July 31st, 2008 at 2:00 am →

    [...] at MomGrind stirred up a fantastic discussion of work-life balance with Being a Lawyer Was Sucking the Life out of Me. Read through the comments on this one; many readers opened up about career mistakes and career [...]

42. Marc responds:
    Posted: July 31st, 2008 at 8:12 am →

    I think working with lawyers is sucking the life out of me…. …just kidding

    Marc’s last blog post..Stevens, Ted- (R – AK) Senate: Indicted on False Statement Charges

43. Laurie | Express Yourself to Success responds:
    Posted: August 1st, 2008 at 2:53 am →

    What a great conversation!

    I’ve had my share of lemons, but they were my fault – I planted the tree. So, like everyone else, I learned from them and tried to make lemonade, although some batches were more sour than others. Then again, they make the best stories, right? But I don’t have the courage to post them online yet…

    I’ve enjoyed reading your post and the great comments.

    Laurie | Express Yourself to Success’s last blog post..Say No Series – Post II: The Making of No

44. Nine To Five | responds:
    Posted: November 12th, 2008 at 1:02 am →

    [...] Reading from MomGrind: Being A Lawyer Was Sucking The Life Out Of Me Will Blogging Make You [...]

45. The Number One Dream Killer: Doing What Works | Illuminated Mind responds:
    Posted: November 12th, 2008 at 4:42 pm →

    [...] Being a Lawyer Was Sucking the Life Out of Me – MomGrind.com [...]

46. Elli responds:
    Posted: November 16th, 2008 at 3:19 pm →

    I used to study law for two semesters. One really. After that I had already decided it was not for me. I was spending all my study time on the one Yiddish course I took by the side and thus I used the second semester to travel to Israel, came back and took up Philosophy. Still, I don’t think working in the lawyer business is a guarantee for unhappiness, if you’re made for it. Is there something specific we’re made for or are there several choices that fit us equally well? I don’t know, fact is, being a blogger suits you incredibly well, Vered!

47. Associating freely while being overcome by late-night drowsiness | elli (me) responds:
    Posted: November 16th, 2008 at 3:47 pm →

    [...] post on Lawyerness over at MomGrind reminded me of this beautiful (rhymed!) poem by Robert Graves: Flying [...]

48. Erin Peck responds:
    Posted: January 4th, 2009 at 2:21 pm →

    Hi,

    I am at my wits end being a lawyer. I have been a New York Lawyer for about 8 years- private practice, in the DA’s office, New York City Housing Authority- I am no good at it. Well I am good at the lawyering bit, just not the political part of it. I always end up pissing the wrong people off and end up on permanent probation. I can keep a job for years, thats the sad part of it. But its always the same. I even left the US, married a Brit and became a lawyer/ Solicitor in England. I have had the same job for a local Council for two years over in UK but now I have started to piss my bosses off over here. I hate administration, get bored very quickly and often wear my heart on my sleeve. I am a middle age attractive Korean girl and sometimes my bosses harass me and of course, I report it. Everytime I have a problem like this, I end up reporting it to the senior managers and its always the same. They sympathise then start to demote me. I am not an idiot but I have seen idiots rise faster than I have in this profession. In England its different- you have to be an idiot and an aristocrat to be considered a star in this profession.
    I am so tired of it, that I need a big change but i don’t have any ideas of my own.

    Any help out there?
    Maybe I need someone to teach me how to be a ruthless bitch.

49. Time For a Change responds:
    Posted: January 11th, 2009 at 10:11 pm →

    I’m a family law lawyer in Toronto, Canada and your comments really hit home with me. After 10 years of working in this system, I have to say that I have found my colleagues in the family law bar to be – by the vast majority -twisted, ruthless, ugly, unethical and mercenary individuals. Children get lost in the family court system like Alice down the rabbit hole and judges don’t seem to care … as long as some lawyer can file 450 pages convincing a half-sleeping judge that other parent is a worthless turd, truth and justice can just “fold up their tents like the Arabs and silently steal away”. Women (and I’m one) get custody of their children simply because they’re women, not because they’re the better parent. Poor people get shouted at by judges and mocked by court counter staff because they can’t afford lawyers and don’t know how to file documents or present their case in court. Expert witnesses are often charlatans or hired guns who will say anything for 10K. I need to get out. It really is soul-sucking. There’s a reason why laypeople hate lawyers. There are a few lawyers out there who try hard to be decent and ethical individuals and professionals, but they get eaten alive. They quickly learn that decency, ethics and kindness don’t pay and don’t go far in the legal profession, and they get out like you have. Good for you. I pray I’m not far behind you.

50. 28 Ways to Slay the Delay | Marc and Angel Hack Life responds:
    Posted: April 3rd, 2009 at 12:03 am →

    [...] If you really hate it, change it. – We will procrastinate ceaselessly if we absolutely hate what we do each day.  “The good news is, if you really want to, you can get out while you still have some semblance of humanity.  Of course, this would depend on your financial situation.  If you have 3 kids in private school, a hefty mortgage and no savings, changing careers may not be the best idea.  But if you have a little more freedom, you should know that changing careers IS a real possibility.  I have done it.  I am now a writer, and although I make a fraction of what I used to make as an attorney, my quality of life is so much better now, that it’s absolutely worth it.” – via MomGrind [...]

51. A Sleepless Night | responds:
    Posted: April 6th, 2009 at 1:01 pm →

    [...] everything I could ever wish for in a partner. He’s the love of my life. Having worked as a divorce attorney, I am grateful to be able to say that, because no one knows better than I do that for countless [...]

52. Bloggers Who Quit | responds:
    Posted: May 4th, 2009 at 8:42 pm →

    [...] prioritizing is one of the best things I have ever done career-wise, second only to my decision to quit working as an attorney and start blogging in the first place, a decision which opened up an amazing new world full of [...]

53. 10 Bizarre Ads | responds:
    Posted: May 16th, 2009 at 11:36 am →

    [...] I was younger, I wanted to be many things. One of them: an ad executive. I ended up as a lawyer (and hating it), then a blogger. I’m not sure if I should regret the career I never had in [...]

54. Someone Understands responds:
    Posted: May 21st, 2009 at 11:30 pm →

    Oh my God! Someone who understands. I am a divorce attorney entering into my second years, operating my own practice. I was just thinking about today why the hell did I choose this profession. It is always something. Consistently working, never satisfied clients, drama queens and kings, dealing with other lawyers who want to make smart remarks on letterhead. I am so sick of it. It has been a blessing and a curse and I cannot see myself doing this for the rest of my life. I want to spend the majority of my life writing books and plays. Every word that you have said is a shared sentiment and here I though that I was the only one. And yes, it has completely turned me off of marriage and children.

55. depressed lawyer responds:
    Posted: August 24th, 2009 at 4:33 am →

    I am heartened to know that I am not the only one who hates beng a lawyer!
    I am 44, with a husband and a 9 year old son. I have my own firm doing litigation. …. quite new so we are in a lot of debt still.
    I agree 100% with everything said in your post…..
    I want to change but feel scared and old! What else can I do? Huge mortgage, car loans etc …… it would be impossible to afford to be a full time student again and even if I did would someone employ a woman my age?
    Sorry – I don’t really expect an answer to these questions – just venting!
    I said to my son yesterday “When you grow up DON’T be lawyer or doctor” ! How many moms give theirs kids that advice I wonder???

56. 10 Reasons Not to Go To Law School « The American Catholic responds:
    Posted: August 27th, 2009 at 3:40 am →

    [...] than a few lawyers hate the profession.  This survey in England indicating a quarter of attorneys would like to be doing something else [...]

57. JaDed responds:
    Posted: November 12th, 2009 at 5:49 pm →

    I’ve been practicing since only 2002. But in that time, I have come across way too many attorneys who are bitter about what they do but yet can’t do anything else. So, they make everyone else’s life miserable in the process. I do not want to be that attorney or that person. I don’t want to be in my 50s unable to do anything but practice day in and day out what I’ve done for the last 10 or 20 years with sparse satisfaction.

    My dad used to quote me that scripture (he was a religious man, after all) about what profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul? Although I’m not so religious myself, I do feel like I have lost my soul in being an attorney. The stress, the difficult clients, the unnecessary adversity and the constant weight it places on your family are just not worth it. Plus, I used to think law was about was fair, just and ethical. Boy, was I short-sighted? But, at the same time, it also stresses me out that my student loan debt is more than most folks’ mortgage.

    So, how do you reconcile the two – of being able to walk away without feeling like a failure at the same time? I really need to know, because the notion of avoiding failure only stalls me from doing what I know I should do.

58. Frustrated Young Associate responds:
    Posted: November 23rd, 2009 at 11:13 pm →

    Reading this post and the comments thereto is therapy for me. I am an associate in “Big Law” in a big city. Not a morning passes without me regretting my decision to apply to law school. It seems that no one close to me quite understands how I could make so much money yet be so unsatisfied. Of course, folks do not realize that money does not solve all problems. The general attitude of co-workers and their inflated self-worth, the constant adversarial nature of so many daily interactions, the hours that never seem to end, the overload of seemingly meaningless or otherwise trivial actions in a severely flawed judicial system…. I feel as though I am expending all the energy in my body for something I loathe–and it tears me apart to recognize such waste. For as ludicrous as it sounds, I am not built to be an attorney; my personality, ego, integrity, and so forth are the polar opposite of what I presently am and do. It truly is painful.

    Currently I am actively searching for my exit strategy, and am torn between tearing down the building and starting anew with a four-year undergraduate degree or pursuing a Masters to reorient my current career path. My greatest fear is that a Masters will simply repeat law school–the awarding of a glorified political science degree and, despite what many say, not too many career opportunities. (Don’t get me wrong–you can do a lot with a J.D.; you also can do the majority of such “a lot” without one but with an applicable B.S. or B.A.). In addition, I am fearful of being overqualified if I simply continue and do not tear down. I’ve already lost one position because the employer wanted someone with fewer credentials. And of course, I am fearful of the debt I’ve previously accrued–and may add to. My greatest pride was turning six figures into five a month ago; without such debt, I’d have long ago left the practice and, if nothing else, spent all my time volunteering with an agency such as the ARC–initially to make up for the “sins” of my practice, and over time because I’d rather help those who need help, and not simply those who can afford help.

    Nevertheless, thank you for your post and allowing others like me to vent our feelings. While it may not solve life’s problems, it brings comfort to know that we’re not alone.

59. Sympathizing with Frustrated Young Associate responds:
    Posted: December 1st, 2009 at 10:04 am →

    To the Frustrated Young Associate, I completely feel your pain. I JUST finished law school in May and while I know I’m “lucky” to have a job in this market, I have hated every minute of it since I got here. I loved law school but am already regretting having gone – it seems like such a waste given the career it apparently leads to. I just hope that one day, when I get out of this hellish industry, I can get to where MomsGrind is emotionally and see that my law degree is still worth something. Right now I feel as if I left a perfectly good, rewarding job before law school (I worked for several years before going back to school) to get a degree that, while I enjoyed getting the degree, is not leading me to a rewarding, interesting, balanced career. I’m already trying to make a move out of the law, but it’s hard when the market is not good right now and people don’t understand why I would want to leave practice after only a few months in it. If it’s any consolation, I know completely how you feel. Everything you said rings true with me… there are days I would consider quitting without anything to go to but I know that would not be smart – financially or otherwise (it would be essentially impossible for us to live on my husband’s salary alone), so I try to stick it out and job search in my non-existent spare time.

60. jaya responds:
    Posted: December 10th, 2009 at 11:00 am →

    i have been reading so many of the commentaries here and i know exactly how you feel! i guess it resonates with other “rewarding” careers like nursing. i am a non-practicing nurse in NYC working in a small accounting firm in midtown as an office manager. (sounds weird, huh?) i’ve updated my license for those “just in case” moments….i also have a bachelors in computer information systems; unfortunately i haven’t used it since i graduated one month after 9/11.
    i am in two minds: one tells me that whatever you have learned is not put to waste; it’s extra knowledge you may need down the road or just for fun (i guess). i think it’s true with my nurse training….
    the other one is saying that i’ve regretted it for not putting it to good use, so that is a waste in itself. i’ve even been hearing in the news that the college degrees aren’t as valuable as they used to be; now you have to have experience along with the degree; but here is the thing: how the hell do you get the experience when everyone rejects you for not having any?
    anyways to cut my kvetching (btw i’m indian working for some very nice bosses, most of them jewish + an italian =), which explains my sprinkling of yiddish lol) the current job i’m at is great; don’t need to deal with blood or conniving nurses who look to put you out instead of helping you out; don’t need to deal with politicizing drivel at big corporations. yet at the same time i hit a road block…..getting a bit bored; but then i thought instead of driving myself to tears surfing the next i figured i go back to one of my first interesting encounters in IT: programming. so now i’m re-learning visual basic (with the express version) and it’s fun =). i’m thinking i could conjure up a couple of fun, useful, useless, strange, and in-between programs…..well what do i have to lose?
    i enjoyed reading your blog vered; i wish you well and let your dreams flourish. from a “shiksa”, happy chanukah and l’chayim! — jaya

61. jaya responds:
    Posted: December 10th, 2009 at 11:03 am →

    oops i meant to say surfing the net not next lol =)
    sorry guys

62. criminally insane responds:
    Posted: December 20th, 2009 at 6:46 pm →

    I too am a former public defender and now self employed as a private defense attorney. I went into school so idealistic, wanting to devote myself and my talents to helping others (Stupid hippy mother and Catholic School is dangerous) Well, I was quickly kicked in the neck by reality. First, all your clients hate you. They will never express the least degree of gratitude regardless of how great the outcome is, you are lucky if they don’t insult you and denigrate you. Secondly, I wanted to go into public service work to avoid the cutthroat competition and evil corporate bosses, and work it a more understanding and communitarian atmosphere. Mistake number 2. That place was as cutthroat as any top corporate firm and 80 hour weeks were expected and completely the norm. At least corporate attorneys are compensated well for their efforts. After two years I left and discovered a brand new hell by whoring myself to some pretty bad people. The worst part is your clients are constantly conspiring to rip you off, constantly having a story as to why they do not have the money, crying and begging and promising to pay tomorrow, only to disappear without a phone call. These are criminals and I should expect it, but between being new in private practice and having to take what I can get, and having a generous heart, I have trouble saying no. So I get ripped off half the time. If you think coroprate clients are hard to please, try the average criminal defendant. Ever since the OJ trial, every criminal defendant thinks they should get “off” if they are paying for an attorney. No one is ever satisfied, especially when someone has to go to jail, then the entire family berates you. I hate my life.

63. MomGrind: Best of 2008 | Blogger For Hire responds:
    Posted: December 23rd, 2009 at 10:25 am →

    [...] Being a Lawyer. Personally, I think this post should be required reading for any young person thinking about going [...]

64. BurnedOut responds:
    Posted: January 29th, 2010 at 1:59 pm →

    I found this while doing a google search for how to quit being a lawyer while at work. Its interesting and sad how so many bright, energetic people are ground down into nothingness by this so-called “profession.” Like a previous poster said “I am just not built to be an attorney.” I loved law school and did extraordinarily well. I got a prestiguous clerkship after graduation and it was the best 2 years of my life. 5 years into practicing law, and it takes all i have got just to get up in the morning and slink into my office. I love the law, love learning about the law, and love writing about the law. I have been trying to specialize in appellate work, but that field is not profitable enough for my superiors. I hate depositions, hearings, negotiations..pretty much anything involving dealing with other attorneys. My second trial sent me to the hospital, and I had a nervous breakdown after my third.
    My family thinks I am crazy for wanting to quit a good-paying job right now, especially since my father recently lost his job.

    As frustrating as this is, what is more frustrating is that I have no realistic options. What is a washed up lawyer with a poly/sci degree going to do in this job market? I would love to go back to school to get a PhD, but I don’t think that would get me anyplace better (and the job market in academia is much worse than in law).

    What is most frustrating is that no matter how many lists I write, exit strategies I plan, or dreams I conjure up, I know I will never leave this. I am too much of a coward, to proud, too insecure. I went to lawschool to prove I could be somebody; to show the world that a poor blue-collar kid could make it with hard work and intellect. Every time I think of leaving I wind up in even more self-loathing because leaving would mean I failed, I couldn’t hack it, and wasn’t man enough.

    I feel like I wasted the best years of my life that I could have spent with family and friends, enjoying my youth with my head in a book and a chip on my shoulder.

    Now I am middle-aged, miserable, and utterly alone.

    Finally, I completely disagree that “you can use your law degree in any field.” B.S. Try applying for a non-legal job and the first and only question you be be asked in an interview (assuming you can get one) is “So, when do you plan on going back to practicing law?” or “Why should be hire someone who is just going to leave?” or “How do you think you can be a team player having spent the last 5 years of your life lying and arguing for a living.”

    Yup—great prospects.

65. Blog Tips | Blogger For Hire responds:
    Posted: February 23rd, 2010 at 10:49 pm →

    [...] and I am very proud of my career changes, which I’ve accomplished all by myself, from a miserable lawyer, to a happy-yet-somewhat-bored stay at home mom, to an extremely busy and fulfilled professional [...]

66. J responds:
    Posted: April 25th, 2010 at 11:19 am →

    Awesome blog topic and comments. I seem to spend my time roaming different sites hoping one person will truthfully tell me that my feelings of angst are merely growing pains that will dissipate – so far I haven’t found that poster. I hate what I do and who I’ve become – those closest to me say I’ve changed and am more aggressive and have developed a hair trigger.

    The reasons I am leaving are not unique. For quite sometime I felt ‘locked up’ with feelings/thoughts of loans, debt, potential interview questions, family obligations and an overall waste of the degree. However, I was asking myself the wrong questions. Where to go is the new question.

67. Caleb responds:
    Posted: May 17th, 2010 at 6:20 pm →

    I just went through a grueling and painful custody process in an attempt to adopt my niece. Through the process, even though she was charging me, I felt oddly drawn to my attorney. Now, with the case being over I miss her. I am not typically a person who is quick to react or let my feelings take over, but I feel strongly about telling her how I feel. The case is now closed, most likely will not be open again…what should I do? Should I share my feelings with her…and if so how do I do that discreetly? I am confused. Please help.

68. angie responds:
    Posted: May 18th, 2010 at 5:20 am →

    Great Blog………….Was thinking exactly the same thing. What a waste of time and money, as they say ‘all that gliters is not gold;’ this is true of the legal profession.

69. puzzled responds:
    Posted: June 8th, 2010 at 11:07 pm →

    have you never felt an instant of joy or satisfaction throughout your legal career?
    if it is as said, why then do so many people plunge into studying law schools..i am sure most sort of know what the industry is like before or heard about how ugly things are.then why do people still want to study law?

70. Eyes Wide Shut responds:
    Posted: July 2nd, 2010 at 7:29 am →

    Respone to Puzzled:

    “i am sure most sort of know what the industry is like before or heard about how ugly things are”

    WRONG. I came from middle-class background, wanted to rise above what my parents did and did not know anyone who was a lawyer before entering law school.

    I went to law school because I loved constitutional law and theory in college, and excelled at writing and researching. I liked solving problems and figuring thing out.

    I had NO CLUE what the atmosphere was like in law firms, the level of hostility from your own co-workers, the constant demand to “market” and “produce” revenue, the complete lack of any sense of professionalism. I had no clue I would have to fight about what side of town a deposition would take place; or have to deal with partners who give you a big project the day before a holiday simply becaue they want to make you miserable and/or were too lazy to get to it. etc. etc. ad naseum. I had no idea I would be trapped under a mountain of student debt and live like an indentured servant, even though I graduated top of my class.

    When I was 22, I also had all the energy in the world and ran on coffee and cigarettes. Now, in my mid-30s, I can no longer pull multiple all-nighters, I am constantly tired, stressed, and unable to sleep at night.

    There is NO WAY I would have gone to law school if I had known then what I know now.

71. Mr. Anonymous responds:
    Posted: July 22nd, 2010 at 8:20 am →

    And I thought studying law once. I think I have the “intellect” [read serious world history and crimes, and not silly "mystery Agatha Christie novels" please]. And love to read how to defend onself in certain social and economical situations. But not willing to compromise my beliefs easily. Maybe I was “lucky” not have studied law. Who knows.

72. disgruntledEsq responds:
    Posted: August 15th, 2010 at 7:36 pm →

    Eyes Wide Shut – wow. You just nailed me to a wall.

    I too went to law school because I was enamored with constitutional law, and was talented at researching and writing and felt like I would be a natural. I was clueless as to the lifestyle it would lead me to – blinded by the idea of translating my natural propensity for reading and writing into a well-paying career. I was a fool. Now I’m embarking on my second year in private practice and I am already looking for a way out.

    What really gets me is the lack of human contact. For the most part my job is solitary, what little interaction I have with others is usually negative (either antisocial colleagues, or adversaries), and like others don’t have the time to really get into anything else. My personality is slowly degrading, and I’ve become increasingly cynical. I refuse to believe those three years of my life in law school – which were great, by the way – were wasted, and I firmly believe I can find a career that gives me the work atmosphere I need while letting me use my legal education. Maybe I’m naive – obviously, I’m a little naive since I went to law school to begin with. But I think I can make it work, and by god I’m going to give it a shot before I high tail it to something else.

73. Junior Associate responds:
    Posted: August 31st, 2010 at 3:49 pm →

    I, too, am a young attorney and am already searching for a way out. After yet another discourgaging day at work, I googled “Hate being a lawyer” and came across this thread. After expressing my disdain with the profession to my parents (who refuse to believe its anything but glamorous), I felt I needed validation that other, wiser attorneys are as unhappy as I am. I’m afraid if I don’t change careers now- while portable and without kids- inertia will take over and I will be 50 googling the same thing. Billable hours are the bane of my existence. You can always research more or less. Being a perfectionist, I feel like I’m stealing from clients when I charge an additional hour to ensure I’ve come to a reasonable legal conclusion. Anytime I actually leave the building for lunch, I feel like a degenerate slacker. And social interaction is taboo because that’s time wasted…and time is money. I’ve started doing crosswords on my “lunch break” to clear my head after spending hours on Westlaw and, today, received a handwritten note written across a partially-completed crossword asking the patronizing question, “Is this billable?” from a senior partner. The thought of being in this profession for another week, let alone another 10, 20 or 30 years is as oppressive and stifling as any thought could possibly be. But how do we parlay a JD into something less awful?

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