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Anonymous Blogging

78 Responses to: “Anonymous Blogging”

1. Scott McIntyre responds:
   Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 4:40 am →

   A very thought provoking look at personal identity of the internet, Vered.

   I’ve watched with interest how bloggers identify themselves online. My conclusion is… it really all depends on one’s own risk assessment.

   As you know, while I don’t yet have a blog of my own, I am an active participant on quite a few blogs and Social Media sites. I have opted to use both my full name and a photograph of myself, and am comfortable with this.

   Just now I know of no other bloggers and, indeed, no one in my circle of contacts even reads blogs (I am on an evangelizing mission!

   There are definitely areas I would never blog directly about, though I would draw on the experiences.

   Using ‘confidential’ details to identify others- like names and photos- would also be a no-go area for me.

2. MizFit responds:
   Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 4:41 am →

   GREAT POST and something I thought a bunch about before I launched MizFit.

   for me MizFit is my branding.
   from the logo to the personality to the fact that Ive been doing so other writing work under that name as well (and MizFitness book? coming soon).
   I am part of it, sure, but it isnt WHO I AM.

   I also have a personal blog under my name which is ME.

   and speaking of ME my real life calls

   MizFit’s last blog post..Monday Facetime: we’re getting all kinds of consistent up in herre.

3. Paul MacPherson responds:
   Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 4:57 am →

   I think the problem can run deeper. When you write a blog and it becomes popular, you are now a ‘celebrity’ of sorts and lose a level of privacy and ‘due diligence’. You are the blog and the blog is you.

   When you blog, you present your ideas, your thoughts. But you as a blogger choose what thoughts you share, what topics you blog about and what topics you avoid for what ever reason. The challenge is what you avoid skews the perspective of who you really are.

   I had a fairly active and popular blog once upon a time that I closed 7 or so months ago. On that blog I talked about relative few topics (sort of a bizarre niche) centering on the Calgary night club scene and I guess to put it simply, being a single male in a bar. I occasionally wrote about work, family, other things, but these articles to my readership where mostly ignored. What people choose to read was the only perception the great Google bot ever new about. My persona was now defined by the Google search engine algorithm. People stopped getting to know me outside of the blog, it was easier, and more enjoyable to see a skewed view of me… just type my name into Google, click on the link and see what they want to perceive/believe. People are lazy these days, and that perspective of me that they gleamed from the words and pictures of my blog was everything.

   To illustrate my point, People who recognized me on the street from my blog would interrupt me while I was with my daughter and start talking about how they would like to ‘do’ this bar tender or that bartender they saw on my blog. When I tried to be polite and introduce them to my then 12 year old daughter… they where surprised I was a father, that I was married once, that I have day job. All I was was what they wanted to see in the blog. This blog affected my family, my job, and all aspects of my life.

   beingpauly

   What am I trying to say… I guess in short; you choose to blog, then you have chosen to be under public scrutiny, and you don’t choose what they perceive of you and your words.

   Paul MacPherson’s last blog post..workingwithpaul.com

4. Max Forlani responds:
   Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 5:33 am →

   Hi,

   Those who follow my blog and have read the About page will know that I blog anonymously. This means I use a nickname, don’t post my pictures nor give details about my exact location. Istanbul is a big place.

   However, I don’t blog anonymously to hide my blogging passion from friends or relatives. On the contrary, I sent them all an invitation by mail the day the blog launched, and I sometimes mention my friends in my posts. I guess this is inevitable for a personal blog. Some of done actively read my blog, others don’t. And none of them are even remotely interested in social media. I blog anonymously because you never know someone may not like your posts and want to settle it. Or, in the very distant future, someone may become a big fan and try to get too close. And, my employer may or may not like it. And, burglars may have found their way to cyberspace as well and check ouy who’s home and who’s not.

   I’m not sure if I would go as far as hiding frustration about issues with in-laws, neighbours or relatives. I luckily didn’t have any so far, so I didn’t have to go over the pros and cons of such a post. But honest and objective as I am by nature, I can imagine that I would write about a ‘fight’ as long as it’s not about an intimate matter or a subject that may damage the persons involved in other areas, outside my (blog)sphere.

   Cheers,
   Max

   Max Forlani’s last blog post..Important Message For New Visitors

5. Lin responds:
   Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 5:39 am →

   On my own blog, I use my real name and real photo. I recently learned that a few in-laws have been spying reading my blog but don’t know that I know.

   Personally, I don’t care if they do or don’t. I don’t write about any of them per se, but it is quite possible that some articles will be thought of as written with them in mind. Nope. As if.

   Those that do write on their blogs about family or friends do need to be cautious about using any real names, or specific identifying factors that may very well get back to the person being discussed.

   Lin’s last blog post..How to Spot a Gold Digger

6. Emily responds:
   Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 6:13 am →

   I blog anonymously, as in, I blog but none of my real life friends or family know about it. I suppose it is an illusion and any day could be discovered because I use my real name and photo. I’ll deal with it when it happens. I won’t like the filter it places on me. I have thought about just not using my name and photos from my life but then my blog wouldn’t be “me” and wouldn’t be interesting or fun for me to write.

   Emily’s last blog post..Links, Links and More Links!

7. Dot H. responds:
   Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 6:26 am →

   This is something I’ve been going back and forth about. I tend to be a forthright person, and I wanted to blog that way as well, but any time you have an audience, there will be certain constraints. I never say anything negative about work, but I’m not sure I’d want all of my opinions read by everyone I know. When Lin wrote that her relatives have been reading her blog without her knowledge (they think), it made me realize that I never really know who’ll be reading it. So, best to play it safe, I think. That will mean some major changes for me, because my web address is my name. (Stupid, stupid.)

8. SpaceAgeSage responds:
   Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 6:44 am →

   I started as a blog as SpaceAgeSage because 1) I just liked the name, and I wanted the focus on the content, not me, and 2) I didn’t wanted my name to show up in searches for awhile, for a private reason involving protocol. Most of my family knew about my blog writing. Recently the reason for less visibility passed, and I realized blog readers value connecting to the writer. I put my name on my main page and loaded up my About Page with photos in time for Liz Strauss’s blog showcase.

   In my blog, I write on many subjects that I’m sure make family and friends squirm a little because I focus on personal growth rather forthrightly, but I don’t go into their specifics, rather I work in hypotheticals, through metaphor, or via incidences in my life, of which there are plenty to choose!

   SpaceAgeSage’s last blog post..Shock and awe from life this week

9. Writer Dad responds:
   Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 7:11 am →

   Good morning Vered,

   This is a great topic. I think about this invisible line all the time. As of now, I have to be semi-anonymous. My wife and I are running a pre-school that we will be closing sometime in the near future so that we may pursue other ventures. We plan on giving all our families three to six months notice, but even so, we need to be quiet until we can actually see the horizon. Over the last couple of weeks since I’ve started, whenever I’ve exchanged e-mails with someone I’ve met through Writer Dad, I’ve used my real name. I think it’s important. It’s hard to trust someone who is using only an alias. I look forward to being able to use my real name all the time. My other online projects will require it, and I’ll feel more comfortable with everything out in the open anyway. Even when that happens, I’ll probably keep the nicknames for the other three members of my household. Of those, I’ve grown quite fond.

   Have a great day.

   Writer Dad’s last blog post..Your Baby’s Born in the Rough Draft. You raise it in the Rewrite.

10. Suzie responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 7:18 am →

    I have the same rules you do. You have put me in th right catagory. I do blog semi anonymously. My mother made me do it so know would would really know who my kids were. I think its kind of nuts but whatever. I wouldnt really mind if I was outed. I try never to write anything that would upset anyone i know. I just write about my life and since its not too scandelous (expect for last night) i dont really care who reads it.

    Suzie’s last blog post..Late night Debauchery and Sausages

11. Mark Salinas responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 7:47 am →

    Very interesting topic! It is a different world out there today!

    Mark Salinas’s last blog post..Last Week Linkin’…

12. Lin responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 7:59 am →

    I also want to add that if anyone is concerned about family, friends, employers, co-workers etc reading what you have to say on various social media sites (FriendFeed, Twitter, FaceBook, Plurk, etc) you might want to be careful about who you allow to see/read your words. Ya just never what um….busy bodies might be out there trying to stir up trouble.

    Lin’s last blog post..How to Spot a Gold Digger

13. Marelisa responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 8:26 am →

    Vered: Although I don’t exactly write about my life, there is a lot of personal information on my blog. For example, the post on 50 things I’ve already done and the one on 50 things I want to do. I also write personal stuff in response to comments. But you know, this is my life and this is who I am; I’m fine with people I know in real life reading it.

14. Barbara Swafford responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 8:28 am →

    Hi Vered,

    As one of your semi anonymous blogger buddies, I’m careful with regard to what I say about my family or friends. Although most of them know I blog, only a few read my writings (some still don’t know what a blog is). I don’t feel it’s my place to write anything that could possibly harm anyone, knowing it’s published in cyberspace, for eternity.

    Thank you for the link love.

    Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Interview With Lorelle VanFossen – Part 7 – From Blogging to Publishing

15. Tarrant/TW responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 9:25 am →

    Eh, I can’t decide if I blog anonymously or not. Some part of me says “Yes, you do and you want to for this reason, that reason, and oh, that other reason”. Other parts of me think “eh, that is dumb, everyone you might not want to read your blog has already sniffed it out and knows about it” or “Eh, you never say anything on a blog you wouldn’t say in front of someone else” so it doesn’t matter.

    Then there is the TW thing. Due to a million plus years on the internet and the incredibly err dramatic nature of my early relationship with Denise, there are people who generally know me better as TW. It was a nickname that stuck…so in that way it is no more blogging anonymously than if I was a Jennifer who had been called Mutsy since childhood and used Mutsy on my blog.

    Tarrant/TW’s last blog post..Wiggle Wednesday After All

16. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 9:38 am →

    @ Scott: “Using ‘confidential’ details to identify others- like names and photos- would also be a no-go area for me”. Absolutely. When a certain real-life friend of mine realized that I had a blog, her first question was “you’ll never post pictures of me or my kids there, right?” to which I answered “NEVER!”. I am very careful never to mention real-life friends in a way that would make them identifiable. It would be a huge breach of trust to do otherwise.

    @ MizFit: “MizFitness book? coming soon”. YAY! I am so excited to hear that! You know, in your case, your charm and personality are such a huge part of your blog’s success, that there’s no doubt in my mind you made the right choice to use the real “you” on your blog.

    @ Paul: Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can see how people would only be interested in one aspect of you – kind of like tabloids covering celebrities I guess. I am on my way to visit both of your blogs!

    @ Max: Interesting thoughts! All the reasons you listed for keeping your anonymity are very valid. As for writing about real-life frustrations with real-life people, I wonder if I could do it after clearing it with the real-life person involved. Buy my gut feeling is, that even if it limits my writing, these issues are best solved in person, in real-life, and not aired out on the internet.

    @ Lin: “I don’t write about any of them per se, but it is quite possible that some articles will be thought of as written with them in mind. Nope. As if.” That made me laugh. Cath Lawson wrote a post where she said that sometimes when you don’t name people, people assume you wrote about them. I agree that we should be careful about what we say on social media sites too.

    @ Emily: “I have thought about just not using my name and photos from my life but then my blog wouldn’t be “me” and wouldn’t be interesting or fun for me to write.” – this is exactly how I feel. I couldn’t do it if I couldn’t be “me”. Sounds like you feel a lot like Amanda – even though in the back of your mind you know it’s an illusion, you still assume that no one in your real life reads you blog, and you WILL add a filter if they do.

    @ Dot H.: “When Lin wrote that her relatives have been reading her blog without her knowledge (they think), it made me realize that I never really know who’ll be reading it.” Exactly! Once it’s out there, you really never know who will find out. I think it’s probably best to realize that and make the choice right from the start about hiding or exposing your identity.

    @ SpaceAgeSage: “blog readers value connecting to the writer.” This is a VERY good point. I think it’s true: certainly to me it’s easier to identify with a blogger when I can see their face. Anonymity makes the experience a little more detached, although I do follow several blogs whose writers are anonymous and I still enjoy them very much.

    “In my blog, I write on many subjects that I’m sure make family and friends squirm a little” – same here, and I have made a decision to ignore their squirming.

    @ Writer Dad: “whenever I’ve exchanged e-mails with someone I’ve met through Writer Dad, I’ve used my real name. I think it’s important. It’s hard to trust someone who is using only an alias.” I agree. I sometimes email with people who write their blog anonymously, and it certainly raises the trust and the friendship level when they use their real name in the email.

    @ Suzie: “I try never to write anything that would upset anyone i know. I just write about my life and since its not too scandalous (expect for last night) i dont really care who reads it.” Same here. Thanks for the smile and now I’m off to check out what happened last night!

    @ Marelisa: I think it’s easier to feel close to you BECAUSE you share the real you on your blog.

    @ Barbara: “some still don’t know what a blog is”. That’s amazing! Or maybe not. Still, when you’re so much into blogs and blogging, it’s hard to imagine that some people have no idea what a blog is.

    @ Tarrant: “Eh, you never say anything on a blog you wouldn’t say in front of someone else” – this is exactly the choice that I make. Or rather, I say LESS on my blog because I do get more personal than this when I’m in person with someone.

    “the incredibly err dramatic nature of my early relationship with Denise” – Could I BE any more curious than I am right now?

17. Ellen Wilson responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 9:45 am →

    Oooooo! Outed! Good one, Vered. You know, it’s important to point these things out because sometimes it does get kind of anonymous behind the screen here.

    I would never intentionally rip on anyone, but I do like healthy disagreement and debate on my blog. That’s good for all, I think. I know everyone doesn’t agree with me, and I’m fine with that. If anyone starts picking on anyone else I would have to step in and say “now, now. play nice in the sandbox kids.” But it hasn’t gotten to that point.

    Fortunately or not, people hold you to pretty high standards when you are out there in the public eye. It’s not quite as critical as being a politician, judge or teacher. For instance, I had a reader make a comment about not quite getting the analogy of a camera aperture to a women’s cervix, and I know if that was something I said in a high school photography class I could get parent complaints.

    I suppose it depends on the bloggers reputation also. Can you imagine Darren Rowse sounding like Dooce?

    Part of my marketing strategy is publicize the fact that I am a Michigan photographer/freelance writer but I won’t give away the city I live in as it is usually listed in a magazine. I suppose it has to do with the wackos you mention online. I don’t worry about that too much, but you never can be too careful.

    The comments are very interesting today. Good discussion.

    Thanks for the link love. Kiss on the cheeky! E

    Ellen Wilson’s last blog post..Ethics in Photography

18. JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, You responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 9:53 am →

    Hey Vered! Thank you for the Link Love <3

    Yes, it’s true that I am the same on and offline. I definitely watch what I say
    - because I know it’ll be online forever & linked to me
    - my aspirations guarantee a Google search both now and later from people at school/work/etc
    - people I know read my site. Even people I didn’t know read blogs would email me about it, rather randomly and let me know they’ve been following. It isn’t uncomfortable – just a surprise sometimes
    - I am online to inspire others and so private, negative details directly conflicts with what I’m trying to do.

    If I put it online, I did put thought into it and don’t mind if its found.

    JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, You’s last blog post..Life Coach: How to Overcome Being Overwhelmed

19. lizriz responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 10:06 am →

    LOL

    Yeah, I’ve never been anonymous, and I don’t even think of it as “censoring.” I just write about things I can write about and don’t write about things I can’t write about. It’s no different than watching what you say.

    But yeah, my neighbors seeing me vlogging? No way! LOL

20. chris responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 10:25 am →

    I was actually reluctant to use my real name. But if I really wanted to be taken seriously, I need to show who I am.

    It’s tough to leave yourself out there but then again, this is a community, and it a community the members supposed to know and TRUST each other.

21. Lin responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 10:34 am →

    Vered, thanks for giving me/us that link to Cath’s post. I’ve read that one, as well as the one where she discusses toxic relationships within blended families….need I say more? I’ve written a few articles myself about toxic relationships but didn’t do so on a personal basis, because…..well…..you know. Anyway, I’m loving Cath’s blog and subscribing now, so Cath is you’re here…you can expect to hear from me.

    Lin’s last blog post..How to Spot a Gold Digger

22. Sarah responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 10:35 am →

    I’ve always used my real identity. It makes me feel more honest, more credible, esp with the stuff I choose to blog about.
    Even back when I had my personal blog (long story, coming back soon) I used my real identity.

    It did get me in trouble once, but over 2 years later, I still do not feel I did anything wrong. I will have to tell you the story sometime.

    I am very, very, very careful about what I share online. My filter starts before I even open my laptop.

    -I do not speak negatively of anyone I know in real life. ANYONE.
    -I do share negative experiences if I feel like it, but I do not expose people.
    -As you know, I do not blog very much about my children other than vague stories here and there.

    When I proofread a post, I’m always putting myself in others’ shoes, particularly if I have written about anyone. Would they be surprised or hurt by what I have said about them? Would they think it was rude? I wouldn’t want someone to blog about me negatively, so I pay attention to how I blog about others as well.

    Funny thing is, most of my IRL friends know I have a blog but I don’t think many of them read it. They’re just not bloggers.

    Great post, Vered.

23. hyrcan responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 10:53 am →

    I am anonymous only in that I find it to hard to write an “about me” page of any worth…

    I don’t user my real name, because I’ve been “Hyrcan” in the tech world before there was a “web”. (BBS and trespassing into the Universities computer labs as a kid FTW)

    Depending on the friend, I may use there alias, real-name, or make up a name. I post pictures, and talk about events. There is no filter, other than respecting someone else’s desire for privacy.

    Anything I say on my blog I would (and most likely have) say to the person’s face or to my friends. I don’t feel I can (or should) be able to get away with saying something I’d be ashamed of. It’s like talking behind someone’s back. I didn’t appreciate it in Jr. High/High School, I’m not a fan of it as an adult.

    Some people don’t feel the same level of comfort online, which is fine. Sometimes it’s not so much “talking behind someone’s back” as it is just not comfortable with talking about it… you can do this even if you aren’t anonymous, you just may need to make the target of your venting (your neighbor who does yard work in less than flattering clothes for example) the anonymous party. Of course if you call out a neighbor and you’re not blogging anonymously then it’s likely their cover will be blown.

    I can almost promise all of you who think your blogging anonymously that you’re not as anonymous as you think. In fact it’s almost impossible to be completely anonymous. However, if you need to be anonymous while you blog, to all but the dedicated internet sleuths and private investigators, there’s some key things you need to do.

    Learn about the technology. Know what information is linked to you’re person. Knowing where the personal information lies will help you know what needs to be done.

    This will show you that not matter how careful you are on your blog, no matter how cryptic or secretive, your personal information could be retrieved by a simple search if you have a custom domain name. This search will reveal most everything about who has registered a domain name. First, Last, address… even phone number sometimes.

    This leads us to the first thing you can do to protect your identity. Assuming your site uses a custom domain name(e.g. momgrind.com, hyrcan.com ) check with whoever you registered your domain with, find out if they have some sort of Identification Privacy service, eNom calls theirs “ID Protect” for a small fee (which I fine underhanded) they will restrict access to your personal information, forcing any IT related reasons for that info to go through the Registrar then to you. So when someone does the simple search I spoke of above, they will get the info of your Registrar not your personal info.

    If you your registrar does not offer this service, (I would switch to one that did.) you could setup a PO box at the local UPS/Mailbox Etc. store. Then change all of your information to this address.

    Another way to avoid this, the most common gaffe of blogging anonymous, you could just as well not use a custom domain name at all. Use wordpress.com, blogger.com, or whichever you like, you don’t need to get a custom domain name, you can use false information setting up the account, and the only way people would get your personal information is if they had warrants (or were really good at social engineering).

    The other ways of finding out information about you, requires quite a bit more work by those interested in finding out. Which most of us don’t need to worry about. Of course if you’re really worried, feel free to contact me for more info.

    Of course as Paul points out above, if you’ve got a popular blog going, you become a bit of a celebrity, with that you’ll find it may be easier to market yourself as authors do and take other precautions with your identity (e.g. PO boxes, dedicated “work” phone number).

24. Becky responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 11:24 am →

    I plan to, assuming it all goes to plan with my book, out myself. I only remain un-outed because I don’t want future employers to Google me. If I get an email, send an email OR an IM, I use my real name there. I’m not shy about it. The beautious thing is that I can quickly delete my whole blog if need be.

25. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 11:42 am →

    @ Ellen: “Oooooo! Outed! Good one, Vered”. Sorry if I disappointed you. I wanted a good teaser for my title. I like a good debate too, but often it seems to be hard for people to stay away from personal insults and generalizations. Agree with your comment on Darren Vs. Heather – they each have their own brand and their own style. Also agree that the comments today are very interesting. Sigh. I just LOVE a good discussion.

    @ JEMi: I think it’s VERY wise to carefully filter what you say online, and actually offline too, but especially online because it is there forever and can reach such a huge audience. I also agree that if your blog has a certain character, you wouldn’t want to say something that’s very out-of-character, kind of like what Ellen said about Darren Rowse compared to Heather Armstrong.

    @ Liz: “I just write about things I can write about and don’t write about things I can’t write about. It’s no different than watching what you say.” Very true, even though online it seems to be even more important because the impact is potentially much bigger.

    @ chris: “But if I really wanted to be taken seriously, I need to show who I am.” I think this is a good point. It’s easier to relate to someone when they are not anonymous.

    @ Lin: Cath is awesome.

    @ Sarah: Curious about your personal blog now. Also about how you got in trouble!
    “I wouldn’t want someone to blog about me negatively, so I pay attention to how I blog about others as well.” I think this is a very, very good guideline.

    @ hyrcan: “I can almost promise all of you who think your blogging anonymously that you’re not as anonymous as you think.” You’re raising a very interesting point. I can think of a few anonymous bloggers who would very much NOT want to be outed as bloggers. I do hope that they are as anonymous as they think they are.

    @ Becky: “The beautious thing is that I can quickly delete my whole blog if need be.” But I’ve read so many times that you can never completely get rid of the info – it’s been indexed by Google, cached, sometimes saved or emailed or printed out by readers… so of course one can always do damage control, but it never 100% effective.

26. davina responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 11:58 am →

    Hi Vered.

    I’m honestly Me in my blog. But, I wish I had started out anonymously. My thoughts are filtered more than I’d like because I am blogging as myself. I’ve told many friends that I’m blogging, but they don’t appear to be interested in the topic.

    davina’s last blog post..Look Ma, I Can Fly!

27. Bamboo Forest responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 12:39 pm →

    At my blog, me and my brother talk mostly about humor, observations and philosophy. So, it’s usually not about people we know.

    Though we bloggers sometimes put ourselves out there, it’s not to the same extent as other professions. Actors and journalists come to mind. How about even being a lawyer? Not to mention, most people these days have a myspace or facebook account. Though you can set those on private.

    There is some inherent risk to blogging, but I think it’s usually quite low. And as they say, “nothing ventured nothing gained.”

    I like the topics you put off limits. I personally think it’s wise.

    Thanks for the link love.

    Bamboo Forest’s last blog post..What’s The True Value of Blog Comments?

28. Ann at One Bag Nation responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 12:49 pm →

    I blog anonymously, and it just felt right to do that from the start. I wouldn’t mind posting a photo, but it seems that the only ones I have are either with my daughter (and I choose not to post photos of her) or with me wearing sunglasses (or both!). I guess I could keep the mystery alive by posting a pic w/sunglasses . . .

    This is a really interesting topic. My blog doesn’t really lend itself to derogatory comments about others, but it is kind of personal. Maybe I don’t want my friends, family etc. knowing that my basement looks like a landfill, I usually forget to look at my To Do list, and my cupboards are filled with left-handed dish gloves (inside joke).

    My new blog will be very personal, but strangely I’ll be more comfortable sharing it with people I know in “real life”.

    Good post Vered!

    Ann at One Bag Nation’s last blog post..It Finally Happened!

29. Stephanie responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 2:12 pm →

    It was quite a decision for me to use my real name. I considered using my maiden name, or even my grandmother’s maiden name just to obscure the link. But in the end I decided I liked just being myself online. Even when it does mean I have to think about the things I say about the people around me.

    I know that most of my family doesn’t read my site regularly, but some do visit every here and there. If I were anonymous I’d still be dealing with that unless I didn’t tell them about it. And once I started doing well… well they all wanted to know about it and some are trying to figure out this whole online business thing now too. It’s hard to hide something you’re excited about.

    Stephanie’s last blog post..The Basic Problem with No Child Left Behind

30. Candid responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 2:56 pm →

    Hello! I’m new here and this topic runs through my thoughts very often.

    I like being anonymous in that I don’t use my real name at all. I do have a picture of me, rather difficult to make out my face as it’s a side view and I’m eight months preggers in it! My closest friends know of my blog, as do my husband and step daughter. But no one else knows about that site. I use that place to vent or just talk about my family, work, neighbors, reality, everything! And I do put up real pictures. For the most part, I like not being me. It leaves me free to be me completely.

    I’ve had a wild upbringing, some interresting things happen to me. I started this blog because I needed an outlet for a wide range of emotions. I’m sometimes afraid that my family will discover it, but I’ll have to deal with that when/if they do. I’m not sorry that I let these issues out. It helped me.

    -Candid

    Candid’s last blog post..Omar Goes Home

31. Tina Kubala responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 3:06 pm →

    I wanted my domain name to be TinaLouise.com to stay semi-anonymous, but it was taken. After a long talk with my husband about safety and privacy, I bought TinaKubala.com. I am very opening with my “real life” people about my blog. It is mostly ignored. While I don’t get to vent and dish dirt on people, I do dish my own dirt. My mental illness issues, my bad habits, my medical stuff. Nothing I wouldn’t tell somebody in person, and if they don’t want to hear it, they can read the book reviews and fun stuff, rather than the post about mensuration. I am who I am without apology, both in person and online.

32. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 3:39 pm →

    @ Davina: “I wish I had started out anonymously.” Interesting. I do filter what I say, but I don’t regret not being anonymous.

    @ Bamboo Forest: “nothing ventured nothing gained”. Very true. To me, the rewards that I get from blogging (not the tiny check ads… the discussion and interaction!) are totally worth putting myself out there.

    @ Ann: Your comment made me smile. Yes, we share things on our blogs that MIGHT cause people who know us in real life raise an eyebrow. I decided that I don’t care about that.

    @ Stephanie: “It’s hard to hide something you’re excited about.” Yes it is! I HAD to tell everyone about my blog. There was no way I was going to hide it.

    @ Candid: Welcome to MomGrind. “For the most part, I like not being me. It leaves me free to be me completely.” That was quite a profound sentence there. I really like it. It captures the freedom that comes with anonymity.

    @ Tina: “I am who I am without apology, both in person and online.” I love your attitude!

33. BabyCenter: MOMformation » Blog Archive » How to be a better mom than you already are responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 4:00 pm →

    [...] Zenhabits article, “How to be a great Mom: 12 awesome tips,”guest written by Vered of Momgrind, caught my [...]

34. Friar responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 4:00 pm →

    I live in a small town, where everyone knows everyone else, and there’s only one chief employer.

    So I don’t use my real name (or anyone else’s). I don’t mention the towns actual name. And if I talk about work, I do it in a generic way (that could apply to any company, anywhere). Nothing that would get me in trouble.

    It’s kind of a pain. There are so many things I would LOVE to write about….I feel censored, and that Big Brother might be listening. But then again…I don’t wanna be dooced….so I try to keep my nose clean.

    (The key word is “try”)

    Friar’s last blog post..Friar’s Random Rants (Part III)

35. Ellen Wilson responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 4:52 pm →

    Vered – You DID not disappoint me. Love this stuff! I came back to tell you I have been thinking of all of this. It’s really stuck in my head stirring the stir fry.

    This is a very pertinent issue people who blog should think about. After all, Dooce got fired. For her own benefit. Hehe! But seriously, I will only post pics or writing of my friends/relations that give me the go ahead, if not…nada. I usually change the story to protect the innocent – just to be safe.

    As far as posting pics of people that I don’t know that I photograph? If people don’t have a problem with being photographed, or sign a model release, then it’s fair game. But like I said in my post about photography and ethics, I won’t publish it unless I get a tacit go ahead. And that might be very much a feeling I get from the subject. I don’t want to hurt anyone.

    Being a photographer I found is much akin to writing fiction. If someone finds too much a likeness in what you write they could sue you.

    There’s a lot of stickiness involved in the whole thing,

    Ellen Wilson’s last blog post..Writers’ Resources

36. hank responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 5:03 pm →

    So I blog on the “anon” at the MiB because as much as I don’t really care about my finances, there is still a bit of judging I feel that will come out if my friends and family see what I make or what I spend it on. I want to know the subject inside and out though to give me the best bang for my buck. My site is progressing away from just investing and the stock market, and moving into more of a complete personal finance realm. I’ve been cutting back on some of the hardcore investing posts as they don’t seem to get as much screen time anyway, and moving towards a more personal approach. i think it is working too! Been happy with the results thus far…

    Additionally, for those that are timid to get their real pictures out there, think about what you’d LIKE to have people reference you with? Start another blog about that. There’s nothing saying you need to be married to one particular subject. True, it’s 1 general subject per blog that makes sense, but nothing is stopping you from multiple blogs. I’ve got 3 sites I call home and each about a separate subject or piece of me that I feel like I’m using all my talents in the niches they fit best.

    hank’s last blog post..Welcome to the Rebrand! Hanks Weekly Hangouts #41 (August 4, 2008)

37. Kmommy @ The Poopie Patrol responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 6:48 pm →

    I blog somewhat anonymously. I started out anonymous, then got discovered by the hubby – deleted a few posts and filtered myself, then decided to share it with my sister and sister in law… deleted a few more posts… filtered myself a little more. I was sharing too much private information about others. And it was fairly negative. It was wrong and I realize that now. I was using it more like a private journal. And now I’m floundering a little because my husband and I discussed issues of privacy and he really doesn’t want me blogging too much about the children. And I have to respect that. I am struggling with ways of still making my blog work without getting too private and specific. It’s really hard for me because I tend to just throw everything out there without any filters. Having filters is difficult for me. I’ve thought about creating a new anonymous blog – but there’s not much point as it will get discovered by someone at some point… I have a friends and family blog that’s not anonymous at all. But I still don’t mention the town we live in or too many private details. I don’t have to worry too much about what I write on that one because I just mainly give updates and pictures for family that live out of town.

    Kmommy @ The Poopie Patrol’s last blog post..Quick, Easy and healthy yummy fruit salad!

38. Evelyn Lim responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 7:08 pm →

    Interesting issue that you brought up and at a time when I decided to share more about what has been happening to me in terms of spiritual experiences. I do not reveal a lot more than what I’m prepared to handle at any one stage in time.

    I’ve also got other blogs that are under pennames but sometimes, I feel sneaky that I’ve not put my real name there. I think it also comes down to branding. Do you want to brand your name? If so, by all means, use your own name. But be careful what look, feel and content you want to have with it.

    Evelyn

    Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Raise Awareness; Release Guilt

39. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 7:53 pm →

    @ Friar: “I don’t wanna be dooced”. Although being dooced COULD help promote your blog.

    @ Ellen: “There’s a lot of stickiness involved in the whole thing”. True. And blogs are so new, that the legal side of this is not fully developed, I’m guessing. This NYT article about blogging about one’s ex was an interesting read on the subject, by the way.

    @ Hank: Publishing several niche blogs is an interesting solution. I’m glad your new direction is working for you!

    @ Kmommy: “I am struggling with ways of still making my blog work without getting too private and specific.” That’s hard. I hope you find your balance soon!

    @ Evelyn: I’m really enjoying your personal posts. I don’t think they reveal too much – they just show the real you, and when you share your own experiences with your readers, it makes you even more credible.

40. Genlisae responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 7:54 pm →

    In the case of my newest blog, I sincerely hope that my real life friends and neighbours are reading it and taking note. I hope they and everyone else that reads it are spreading the word as well.

    My blog is a documentation of a man stalking my daughter, abuse and lies from neighbours, my disabled mother getting shafted by the systems that are supposed to be in place to help her, and how all of this is putting our lives in jeopardy.

    My case is extreme though, and in different circumstances, I am not sure that I would be all that comfortable. Everyone tends to filter what they say in person based on who they are saying it too. We have a set of “social guidelines” that tell us what is and is not acceptable. With a blog, all that changes. The anonymity of a blog makes it easier for a person to say whatever is on their mind, without fear of repercussion. For me this issue brings to mind questions of how well you really can know someone no matter what the form of communication. Food for thought.

    Genlisae’s last blog post..My Current Life Part 2 – A venting of neighbours, landlords and “the system”

41. Amanda Hill of Shamelessly Sassy responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 8:15 pm →

    Thank you for linking to and mentioning my post. It was very awkward for me when I was outed on the internet. While I knew that almost anyone could stumble upon my blog, for the longest time, I was hoping that they just didn’t. Now, I’m glad they know about it, and coming out with my real name and such was a huge relief. Again, thanks for mentioning and linking my blog.

    Amanda Hill of Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post..My Child is a Sleepwalker?

42. Jade responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 8:30 pm →

    Vered – I decided to use my real name and I do admit that I also filter what I write in my blog because some family members and acquaintances are/might be reading it and I am afraid I might hurt them is some ways even unintentionally.
    It is quite difficult to be totally out there with my thoughts but this blog is still about me (part of me at least)

43. Dominique responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 9:01 pm →

    Talking about “Branding yourself” and or assuming anonymity. For me I use my own picture + kids on my own blog but for the kids blog with photos of them/extended family/friend I password protect them to share with a selected few as as mentioned in the other comments that other people may not be comfortable seeing their kids pictures on the net. My family/ MIL who are overseas frequent my blogs to get latest updates about us and the kids so I find it is a good way to keep them updated.
    The guidelines I follow is not to post too personal infomation like actual address etc or blast people off by ranting about them as I believe in Karma .

    Dominique’s last blog post..My #100 Post and another award

44. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 4th, 2008 at 9:59 pm →

    @ Genlisae: I am very sorry about everything that you are going through. My heart goes out to you.

    @ Amanda Hill: “coming out with my real name and such was a huge relief.” I’m very glad it worked out for you! Thank you for coming over and sharing the outcome of this story. It really adds to the discussion.

    @ Jade: “It is quite difficult to be totally out there with my thoughts” – I know what you mean!

    @ Dominique: “The guidelines I follow is not to post too personal infomation like actual address etc or blast people off by ranting about them as I believe in Karma.” Sounds like a very sensible approach.

45. Shilpan | successsoul.com responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 4:00 am →

    Vered -

    This post is very thought provoking. I read an article by Jay While little while ago that indicated that all of us bloggers are taking substantial risk by exposing ourselves in the eyes of public. However, I don’t know any example of identity theft or personal harm to cite here. We should all be mindful of the fact that we are friends and tend to share our life with each other but the medium we are using is open to the world.

    Shilpan

    Shilpan | successsoul.com’s last blog post..Forrest Gump: How to Build Your Self-Confidence

46. vw bug responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 4:57 am →

    I blog… somewhat anonymously. I leave my blog open to the world, but basically my readers are my family and friends and past co-workers. It was too hard to set passwords and get my non-techie family to actually read what I put out. And they really wanted to see the pictures of the boys and what was going on in my little world. If for no other reason than to annoy me later about it. GRIN. I do not post my real name to make it a little more difficult to figure out who I am. But I am technical savy enough to know if someone wanted to figure out who I was, it wouldn’t take that long. I just don’t believe that many people would try to hard to do that. It does take time and effort. I have enjoyed the comments and discussion you have started. There are many good points. Thank you!

    vw bug’s last blog post..What those little medicine drinking caps are good for…

47. Al at 7P responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 5:22 am →

    Yeah there are risks for bloggers, but as Bamboo Forest said, it’s not that different from using Facebook, MySpace, or even LinkedIn. I think we need to accept that what we say online is exposed to the world forever, but that’s OK. It could even be a good thing… I like the idea of my grandkids or even my grandkid’s grandkids reading my blog archives

    Al at 7P’s last blog post..Do You Know What You Don’t Know?

48. Ellen Wilson responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 7:50 am →

    Great article link, Vered. It’s sad that so many people choose to hurt eachother this way. I understand why they have vindictive blogs, so they can feel happy themselves, but it is such a waste of time stewing in hatred. I say this from personal experience. I won’t get into details, but you only wind up hurting yourself holding onto these negative emotions.

    As far as the ramifications of suing people for this behavior, I think that people would have grounds for harrassment. Of course, it all falls under freedom of speech, also. I don’t know. Tough nut to crack.

49. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 9:40 am →

    @ Shilpan: “We should all be mindful of the fact that we are friends and tend to share our life with each other but the medium we are using is open to the world.” Very true. I think this is one of the things I was trying to say here: that we should always be aware that our blogs can be read by anyone, anywhere. I don’t know about substantial risk, although I’ve been known to be careful about exposing my kids here and about I do avoid giving out info that could be used for identity theft or for burglary.

    @ vw bug: “I just don’t believe that many people would try to hard to do that. It does take time and effort.” I agree!

    @ Al: I agree that it is, in many ways, a good thing, as long as we are reasonably careful about what we say online.

    @ Ellen: I have no doubt that stewing in hatred and not being able to let go of anger is incredibly damaging. I won’t pry into your personal life, but I am very happy for you that you were able to move beyond that.

50. Lance responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 10:13 am →

    I thought about this before I began blogging, and my original response was to remain anonymous. Since then I have become semi-anonymous. I’m not ready to expose myself (so to speak) to my neighbor, work colleagues, etc. Family and friends I’m ok with.

    Lance’s last blog post..Life’s A Beach

51. Jan responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 12:42 pm →

    Neither I or my daughter, who also blogs, blog anonymously. We come from a law enforcement family, and know there are worse things to worry about. We both post photos and use our real names.

    Jan’s last blog post..Book Giveaway

52. Urban Panther responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 1:17 pm →

    I am not trying to hide my identity as the Urban Panther. Rather, it is a persona. In my day to day life I am Elizabeth. As a blogger, I am the Urban Panther. It’s fun for the Urbane Lion (Marc, by the way) and I, and I believe it is fun for our readers. They now refer to their spouses as their own lions and panthers when commenting on our posts. Besides, Chris over at Wat da Wat outed me in his Trust blog *chuckle*

    Like you, all my friends and family know I blog. As for anyone else, it’s easy enough if they really wanted to, to figure out who I am and where I live. I am open about living in Gatineau, Quebec, and I have referenced streets near me. I guess when the paparazzi start showing up on my doorstep, I’ll have to reconsider my stance on what I tell the world.

    I do not write ANYTHING that I am not willing to have the world know about. I do not slander anyone..okay, I make reference to the Yahoos down the street, but they are harmless and quite amusing. I do not write directly about my children’s lives, and if I were to, I would send them the story first for their permission. Even the Lion and I don’t post without reading each other’s stories first! And while I am open about not being entirely happy in my job, my boss is fully aware of that.

    My goal is blogging in to amuse people. I have never found jokes that put people down funny, so I am sure not going to write in that style.

    Urban Panther’s last blog post..Yep, tastes good

53. Alik | PracticeThis.com responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 2:24 pm →

    I had hard times to blog under my real identity. Then I realized that real name and real picture creates credibility. I think it also builds a stronger character when you are exposed this way.
    I blog on five blogs today (one personal dev, 3 professional, and one is just thoughts) and I sign by my real name and every blog post starts with a little image of myself. I hope it is not interpreted as narcissism. All i want to do is building my brand – not only by the content i create but also a visual brand. I use this exposure to build my online consistent identity.

    Alik | PracticeThis.com’s last blog post..Make Your Content Richer with FREE Music On Jamendo [Under Creative Commons License]

54. Ribeezie responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 3:49 pm →

    When I started my blog I knew that I didn’t want to be an anonymous blogger. In other words, I didn’t want to create a mascot and blog under ‘Ribeezie.’ I mean, my name is Ricardo Bueno…thus Ribeezie (well sort off, there’s a story to that one…) Anyway, I felt comfortable being myself with my blog. But, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to share my blog with some of my closer colleagues and friends. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that given the subject matter (the Personal Development type stuff) and I wasn’t sure how they’d react to it. I guess I was just nervous.

    Anyway, one day someone found me! They said, “Hey Ricardo! There you are! Where have you been?” Next thing you know, the word of mouth spread and there I am. Still me…just not so nervous any more. Because that’s who I am, “me.”

    Ribeezie’s last blog post..You Don’t Need ALL the Tools, Just the Right One(s)

55. Laurie | Express Yourself to Success responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 4:17 pm →

    Hi Vered,

    Great post – again.

    While I use my real name, I rarely write about my friends. If I do, I change their names and stick to the positive. If it’s negative, and I think I’ve got one post that would fall into that category, I change their names and the situation here and there to disguise them, but can still keep a truthful story. I do this to illustrate a point, not to hurt or insult someone. If I believed I would offend her (in the negative post), I wouldn’t do it…in this particular case, I’d bet she wouldn’t recognize the story was about her…or would even remember my name…so I’m not worried that I offended. But I’m still careful.

    Laurie | Express Yourself to Success’s last blog post..Say No Series – Post III: The Rejected No

56. Kelly@SHE-POWER responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 4:19 pm →

    Bloody hell, there’s lots of commenters here now. I get lost. You won’t find me. Where did these people come from? This is MY place!

    I use my real name because it never occurred to me not to. Plus I want to be a published author one day so there’s no point in being shy when soon I’m gonna be famous, is there?

    But of course this means I do filter. Not anything that concerns me alone. I’m happy to make a fool out of myself for a good story. But you and I have discussed things that so far I haven’t written about because of not wanting to hurt family members or cause too much of a ruckus. I’m not saying ‘ll never write about some deeply personal issues but this would need to be handled very carefully.

    I don’t use other people’s names in my blog. I do use photos with other people’s permission and I never make fun of anyone other than me and my family, and even then only in a silly way. I’m not the type to be deliberately nasty. And Musicman vets everything I write that pertains to the family.

    I think blogging can give us a false sense of invisibility though so I don’t think Amanda Hill is alone in her thinking.

    Kelly

    Kelly@SHE-POWER’s last blog post..Help, I’m Having a Hair Breakdown!

57. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 4:19 pm →

    @ Lance: “I’m not ready to expose myself (so to speak) to my neighbor, work colleagues, etc. Family and friends I’m ok with.” That’s an interesting distinction, but the question is, what if they discover you.

    @ Jan: “We come from a law enforcement family, and know there are worse things to worry about”. Probably true.

    @ Urban Panther/ Elizabeth: “I do not write ANYTHING that I am not willing to have the world know about.” I think this is a very good guideline.

    @ Alik: I agree that blogging under your true identity creates credibility.

    @ Ribeezie: “Anyway, one day someone found me! They said, “Hey Ricardo! There you are! Where have you been?” Next thing you know, the word of mouth spread and there I am. Still me…just not so nervous any more. Because that’s who I am, “me.””

    I really enjoyed reading this. I think it’s true: while we might feel nervous about being outed to our real-life community, this is after all us, and we should expect them to accept us fully. Interestingly, Amanda herself shared here that being outed was good for her and made her feel relieved.

    @ Laurie: I agree that it’s very important to be careful and always change identifying details. Most bloggers do not want to ever hurt or upset anyone in their real lives.

58. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 4:24 pm →

    @ Kelly: Of course I found you. You are special, you know you are!

    “And Musicman vets everything I write that pertains to the family.” I think this is VERY smart. Also agree that what we discussed will have to be handled very carefully if you ever decide to write about it.

    It’s interesting, that sense of invisibility. I guess it’s because we hide behind our computers when we write… but once we hit “publish”, it is out there and there’s no taking it back. We need to always be aware of that.

59. Natural responds:
    Posted: August 5th, 2008 at 6:46 pm →

    Vered, if I had a do over, I would be so freaking invisible that even I wouldn’t know my name!!! I really didn’t think about it when I started blogging, I don’t have MUCH to hide, but I cannot blog as openly as I would like. I don’t blog about my neighbors, sadly, I don’t know my neighbors…forget blogging about work, I know they check every website I visit, I don’t blog about family or personal relationships, I like breathing without a machine. I actually did carve out a blog for myself where I don’t use my real name. It’s liberating. I never dreamed people other than my friends would read my blog. I wanna go back in the closet. Like others though, I don’t put anything out there with my real name on it that would bring my mom (family) shame, gosh I’m afraid of her. At 37, she can still give me “the look” and like I’m writing a book here so let me go.

    Thanks for this post, I was wondering how people felt about blogging anon.

60. Elaine responds:
    Posted: August 6th, 2008 at 10:57 am →

    I originally started blogging for my friends and family to see pictures of my boys and get updates on our life. So…ALL of my family & friends knew about my blog first. I do steer clear of topics like sex b/c I am pretty sure my husband’s Grandparents don’t care to know about that facet of our lives! And obviously I don’t gripe about or insult any of my loved ones (even though there are a few times I could have!) especially since that is not the avenue I want to take on my blog.

61. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 6th, 2008 at 10:59 pm →

    @ Natural: What an honest, interesting comment! Thank you for this perspective. I don’t regret not being anonymous, but I can see what you mean. “At 37, she can still give me “the look” – sounds familiar.

    @ Elaine: I pretty much stay away from the topics that you mentioned too.

62. Ribeezie responds:
    Posted: August 7th, 2008 at 2:26 am →

    @MomGrind: “we should expect them to accept us fully.” That’s true. But at the end of the day, we can’t please everyone ALL the time. And that’s ok. At the end of the day, I’m still comfortable being ‘me.’ If we can recognize that fact, that we can’t please everyone all the time, it becomes a lot easier to just be yourself…

    Ribeezie’s last blog post..The System Is Down

63. Christina responds:
    Posted: August 7th, 2008 at 8:19 am →

    Nice post. When I blog, I blog as myself. Of course there are many things I don’t blog about regarding my personal life. I think it all has to do with what your goal is for your blog, if you want to encourage, or voice your opinion, do so. There’s no need to hide behind a “mask” in my opinion. I appreciate how you are very balanced in terms of your real life, and your blogging life. You are very opinionated and you make no excuses for that. While you don’t complain about your family, or other personal problems. Keep up the great work. Thanks for another interesting post!

64. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 7th, 2008 at 2:20 pm →

    @ Ribeezie: This is actually something I am still working on – not trying to please everyone all the time.

    @ Christina: “You are very opinionated and you make no excuses for that.” – and you said it as if it were a positive thing! I love you. Not everyone likes opinionated.

65. phyllis responds:
    Posted: August 7th, 2008 at 8:36 pm →

    i feel like i already live a pretty public life, so blogging is just an extension of that life and my work. that said, i am careful not to blog about people i know unless i ask them first. and i am pretty careful to keep it all things that i wouldn’t mind a potential employer to know…so i guess i censor myself in that way. i sometimes wonder what it would be like if i’d started blogging anonymously at first. i guess i started blogging before i realized that’s how some people do it…and i guess i never quite thought of it!

    phyllis’s last blog post..What I Did on my Summer Vacation (or…13 Reasons I’m not Blogging)

66. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 9th, 2008 at 4:44 pm →

    @ phyllis: “i am careful not to blog about people i know unless i ask them first. and i am pretty careful to keep it all things that i wouldn’t mind a potential employer to know” – that’s pretty much what I do. There’s a thread on Zoe’s blog right now where people warn against open blogging, but I really do think that if you filter what you say, blogging openly enhances your blogging experience and can even open new professional doors.

67. Don Mills Diva responds:
    Posted: August 9th, 2008 at 7:34 pm →

    This is a great post and I just wrote about this as well. I use my real name and have the exact same rules as you. You exactly just crystallized it for me when you said it’s an illusion that only strangers read your blog because you never know. I always assume that everyone I have ever known is going to read every post and work from there – I have a diary for venting and THAT is private.

    Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..Where humanity and hubris intersect

68. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 10th, 2008 at 9:12 pm →

    @ Don Mills Diva: “I have a diary for venting and THAT is private.” I have a husband for venting.

69. Cath Lawson responds:
    Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 2:54 pm →

    Hi Vered – Thanks for the link love. Most folk around me don’t blog. But if they did, I guess I’d be curious and want to read what they had to say.

    When I first started blogging, I foolishly assumed that folk around me wouldn’t know – after all I’d just got married and changed my name. But I was wrong and included way too much personal stuff.

    One of the most dangerous things I did was to blog too much about my own business strategies, even though my competitors knew about my blog. That wasn’t a smart move and now I’m keeping new projects I’m working on more secret. It’s not smart to let potential competition know about everything you’re doing – especially in the early stages of a business.

70. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 3:53 pm →

    @ Cath: I’m glad you are more careful now. It’s interesting: I tend to be really cautious and suspicios, and I always attribute that to my legal education and to being a former attorney. I guess sometimes it’s better to be paranoid than trusting.

71. Cath Lawson responds:
    Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 3:47 pm →

    Vered – I was thinking. You do realise that the pic I use isn’t really me don’t you? I wouldn’t get away with that purple hair at my age.

72. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 4:18 pm →

    @ Cath: Yes, I do realize that. It’s pretty obvious.
    I don’t consider you as blogging anonymously because you use your full name. But I guess I should have placed you in the semi-anonymous category.

73. Cath Lawson responds:
    Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 9:22 pm →

    I won’t be semi-anonymous soon – Kelly is putting a photo from hell on her blog. I want to be airbrushed.

74. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 14th, 2008 at 12:54 pm →

    I Can’t wait to finally see you.

75. New Age Bitch responds:
    Posted: August 15th, 2008 at 6:30 pm →

    Oh honey, it’s all WYSIWYG with me. Besides, aren’t names arbitrary anyway?

76. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: August 15th, 2008 at 6:40 pm →

    I had to look it up.
    What You See Is What You Get.
    Still, your seem to be keeping anonymous on your blog…

77. Pink Ink responds:
    Posted: September 29th, 2008 at 7:58 am →

    I loved reading this thread; very interesting discussion. I know I’m coming into this waaay late in the game, but I thought I’d just add my two cents.

    I use my real name. I decided I don’t like the restrictions of blogging anonymously. Too many details to protect, too many pseudonyms to keep track of. Because I am not anonymous, I think my readers tend to reveal more about themselves, too. But I am careful to not refer to anyone outside of my immediate family by their real name unless I get their permission, and avoid negative comments because one of these days I am sure one of them is bound to read my blog. And I have decided that it’s not worth hurting their feelings for the short-term enjoyment of a post.

    Now that I have strangers stop by my blog, I do find myself filtering my writing. Am I writing for fellow fiction writers? Am I writing for members of my religion? Am I writing for stay-at-home moms? This, I think is my biggest challenge nowadays…how to address my audience and still stay true to what I want to say.

    Pink Ink’s last blog post..Please, No Lies

78. MomGrind responds:
    Posted: September 29th, 2008 at 11:03 am →

    @ Pink Ink: “This, I think is my biggest challenge nowadays…how to address my audience and still stay true to what I want to say.” This is EXACTLY how I feel!

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