Finding Happiness
Finding happiness has always been one of my biggest goals, or challenges.
When Urban Panther and Ellen Wilson tagged me for the six-word memoir meme, I knew right away my memoir will be about finding happiness.
This is my six-word memoir:
Happy, then not. Now happy again.
I’m not sure this qualifies as a memoir. I guess it’s more of a portrayal of who I am and what I’m trying to be. I am still in the process of finding happiness. I am still trying to figure out if happiness can be a constant state of mind, or if I have to accept that happiness is just those precious fleeting moments that I should enjoy and cherish, while the day-to-day is shades of gray.
What do you think? Are you happy? (It’s a big question, I know.) Do you aspire to be generally happy or are you OK with just moments of happiness? Is the quest for happiness a luxury of a spoiled generation that enjoys way too much leisure time thanks to modern technology?
Related Reading:
Happily Ever After
Why People Are Unhappy
How To Be Happy
Photo: Finding happiness in Rome.
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Scott McIntyre responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 4:21 am →
Vered, I hope you don’t mind me sharing the lyric from a little ditty made famous in the UK by a comedian:
“A wise old man told me one time
That happiness is nothing but a frame of mind
I hope when you go to measuring my success
That you don’t count my money count my happiness
Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I posses”
I guess that sums up my thinking 100%. Happiness to me is something other than the materialistic things and the items I own. It’s contained in the intangible things in life- relationships with other people, and other such things.
My happiness comes from being content with my life, what I am doing now, and where I’m headed. It’s lasted through a few rougher patches and come out even stronger.
I don’t mean this in a cheesey, sentimental way. It’s an powerful attitude that’s developed in me as a result of both good and not-so good experiences.
Above all, life is for living- and that’s enough motivation to make me very happy indeed!
Scott McIntyre responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 4:26 am →
Oops! I think that last bizarre bit of my comment came across from Twitter- sorry
** Edited out.
You can uncheck the “enable commentluv” box to avoid it. Vered
Mike Goad responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 5:22 am →
I’m generally happy, but then, at a relatively young age, I am retired and able to “do my own thing.” We are living in exciting political times where the country has a great opportunity to make a significant change in direction, which I hope and believe will be for the better!
Mike Goad’s last blog post..The answer, my friend, is b….
MizFit responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 5:23 am →
I love the meme.
and it’s so trite but Im striving to be the person my husband thinks I am.
and I knew I liked you.
Im such a meme-rebel as well.
off to take on the day.
MizFit’s last blog post..Link Love. The Pogo-Sticking edition.
Joel Falconer responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 5:36 am →
I’m a meme-rebel too, but in the sense that of all the times I’ve been tagged I’ve always refused to take part.
I think many people are seeking some perfect life where nothing goes wrong and their mood is always stable despite blood-sugar levels, when they say they’re seeking happiness. It’s become a misnomer for something that doesn’t exist. I don’t think one can “seek” happiness. I think you can create an environment conducive to it, but at the end of the day it’s just a human emotion, not some state of perfection where nothing goes wrong; it can be effected by an amazing number of factors, from what you’ve eaten and when, to whether you caught your spouse with your best friend today.
What I do believe in is contributing to something greater than yourself, in the sense that at the end of the day you can say to yourself, “If I died right now, would I be happy with the way I spent my time today?”
Semi-off-topic, but hey, you caught me late at night.
Joel Falconer’s last blog post..Is Updated Technology Important to Productive Work?
Kelly@SHE-POWER responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 5:52 am →
My six words would be:
Chameleon. Nomad. Creative Fool. Idealistic Seeker.
As for the happiness question, I really don’t know. I have sought ‘happiness’ my whole life and the whole idea of looking for something indicates it is outside of yourself, but intuitively I know it isn’t. I believe happiness is a choice, but too often our trouble is we confuse happiness with those magical moments of bliss. One can’t be in a state of bliss all the time, it’s just not possible. But those moments are so special and memorable we want it all the time. That’s the trouble with humans, we’re always wanting more.
Nice post idea.
Kelly
Kelly@SHE-POWER’s last blog post..SHE-POWER Men: Inside the Beautiful Mind of Charlie Gilkey
Writer Dad responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 6:26 am →
I hope no one wants to punch me in the side of the head after I say this but, other than my son, I’m the happiest person I know. Of course I have my moments, I’m not a cyborg. But I believe that even with the longest life, it’s still pretty short. Too short to let too many things bother you. I think I get it from my grandfather, who on second thought, is actually the happiest person I’ve ever met.
Writer Dad’s last blog post..Bye Bye Butterfly
Suzie responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 6:44 am →
I dont know if happy is the right word. Content maybe maybe not. It changes. Right now Im happy cause I will be getting a foot massge in a minute or two.
Suzie’s last blog post..Happy Birthday Dear Suzie
Max Forlani responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 6:56 am →
Hmm, happiness is a subjective matter. One person can be happy with a certain achievement, be it material, financial and/or spiritual, while another may feel unhappy with the exact same achievement. It all depends on the goals you set out for yourself.
I consider myself 85% of the time as a happy person. Why? Because the goals I set out, are challenges but not missions impossible. Some people tend to put the bar too high right from the start, making them feel like a failure. I think it’s better to take baby-steps to achieve your final goal.
Cheers,
Max
Max Forlani’s last blog post..Important Message For New Visitors
Mark Salinas responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 7:36 am →
Very nice theme! Thanks for sharing!
Mark Salinas’s last blog post..Liquid Calories
Dot H. | Deeper Issues responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 8:00 am →
I’m out of the loop on “memes” — had to look it up. Sort of like a chain letter, right? I refuse to harass my friends with requests from other people just so I won’t be visited by a plague of locusts.
Happiness seems to be more innate or learned early than the result of any particular achievement, acquirement or process. I read survey results that said people in Mexico are among the happiest in the world. People in Scandinavia are not. Of course, they have the lack of sunlight thing, being near the North Pole, so it could be seasonal affective disorder only year-round. Myself, I’m plagued with depression, both chemical and situational, but I would say I have reached a level of real contentment in many areas of my life, though not in a couple of major ways. I’m somewhat joy-impaired due to my upbringing.
That meme is intriguing. Let’s see, I’d say mine is — defeated great odds, more to conquer.
hyrcan responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 8:08 am →
I’m happy right now… But happiness is an emotion… always a state of flux. Now contentment, one can be content with life, and enjoy all the happyness and sorrow for what they are. I would not be content if I only knew happiness.
Without light you would never know darkness. Without sorrow you would never know joy. To dwell only in one is folly.
um… that was weird… apparently channeling Confucius for this comment…
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with striving to be happy, but I do think the trappings of modern life makes it difficult to become content. It misguides some into thinking that if they could be happy they will get the feeling that comes from being content. When they should strive to be content, not just happy.
Happiness will follow, as will other emotions.
Marelisa responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 8:10 am →
Well, I just took a quiz called “The Satisfaction with Life Scale” (it´s on today´s post on my blog) and apparently I have some work to do. Luckily, I’ve done so much research on happiness during the last three days that I know just how to get started. Thank you for the link love
Marelisa’s last blog post..Happiness Extravaganza: Tips, Tidbits, and Tools
SpaceAgeSage responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 8:42 am →
I have to agree with this quote:
“Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness.. it is generally the by-product of other activities.” Aldous Huxley
My six-word memoir:
ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH! OK. Breathe. Yes. Good. Begin.
SpaceAgeSage’s last blog post..Leadership skills — seasoned or dinosaur-like?
Ellen Wilson responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 8:43 am →
Hi Vered,
This meme fits you to a T. Very nice picture of you by the way.
Thanks for playing. I know, I know, memes can get a bit tiresome after awhile.
Oh, man. Do you want some of my philosophical meanderings? Ha! Probably not.
I do think happiness is a state of mind and we can usually control our moods, but it takes awhile to master. I understand how you feel because I’m extremely moody. I wish I wasn’t, but I am. I constantly think how about how I can control my moods, how I can even myself out. I really don’t have a good answer to this, but neither does the mental health industry always trying to give us happy pills!
Which makes me wonder, how much of our happiness is dictated by how we are supposed to feel? And who decides how we are supposed to feel? Why do we have all these drug commercials nowadays?
I don’t think there is anything wrong with unhappiness. If I try to push away from it to much it seems to cling even tighter. Geez, I guess I could go on and on.
Have a good weekend Vered. I will be thinking of you Rose Lion. Rose Lion. I love that!
Ellen
Ellen Wilson’s last blog post..Inner and Outer Authority
Sarah responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 8:43 am →
I think happiness is different from feeling entertained, though the two can collide for sure.
For me, I’d say that I’m overall happy because the older I get, the more my DH and I focus on how we want our lives to be and we continually work toward this purpose. This “work” or whatever you want to call it, makes us both overall feel happy and content, knowing that there is an end in sight and that we look forward to reaping the benefits of our hard work some day.
Sure not every moment is a ride down the rainbow, but as long as we keep our dreams in front of us there is always something better to look forward to.
And then of course there are the little pure happy joys in life, those moments that happen with our kids and with each other every day.
I think that kind of happiness is very different from the happiness that some people pursue – when they buy bigger and better material possessions (that they can’t afford) and spend more and more time entertaining themselves with “twaddle” to fill their listless lives.
Sarah’s last blog post..8 Reasons Not To Go On A Raw Vegan Diet.
Davina responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 8:58 am →
Hi Vered. I love that quote SpaceAgeSage! I also believe happiness fluctuates and you couldn’t really appreciate it if you were in it all the time. I actually find it annoying if I’m around someone who “seems” to be happy all the time. I have to admit I’ve had happier days… but they’ll be back.
Davina’s last blog post..Bears Come Calling
Tim Brownson responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 9:38 am →
@ Scott – LMAO – I can’t believe somebody is quoting Ken Dodd!!!! Is he still alive!
Tagging is a pain. I once did it and immediately regretted it when I thought “Hmm, would I want somebody else to dictate my plans to rule the blogging world by imposing their idea on me for one of my posts?”
” No I wouldn’t”
Came the almost instant reply and I decided to shelve the idea.
Then I thought “I wonder what’s for dinner, I hope it’s shrimp, we haven’t has shrimp for a few days. On the other hand, spag bol would be nice too and even fajitas”
Then I forgot all about the meme and drifted back into la-la land with nobody taking any notice of me whatsoever.
So summing up: Thanks for the link and I’m happy most of the time.
Tim Brownson’s last blog post..The Unbearable Cuteness of Being
Scott McIntyre responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 10:19 am →
@ Tim – I’m not sure whether Ken Dodd is still alive… who’d have thought he’d be so quotable
MomGrind responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 10:19 am →
@ Scott: I completely agree that happiness has nothing to do with material possessions and everything to do with relationships with others and with a certain level of inner peace. I do wonder if I can achieve a higher level of this inner peace and be generally more content than I am now.
@ Mike: Being able to do your own thing is great. It still depends a lot on your attitude: some people view retirement as an end, while you view it as a beginning. That’s a great attitude.
@ MizFit: “I’m striving to be the person my husband thinks I am.” I’m sure you already are… and that you are just incredibly hard on yourself like 100% of the women I know.
@ Joel: I’ll know never to tag you.
You know, you wrote it so well, I think I should use your comment as my post instead of my original text. I completely agree that there’s a tendency to seek a state of calm and peace and happiness and chances are, this is unattainable, because life does not work that way, and the human psyche and the human body do not work that way.
I really like the question of “if I die right now, am I happy with what how I spent my day” – in fact I like it better than “if I die right now, am I happy with how I’ve lived my life”, because it’s easier to tackle and inspires you better on a daily basis. Thank you, Joel. I always enjoy your comments, but this one – wow.
@ Kelly: I love your six words.
I think you should write your own post about it. Consider yourself tagged – if you want to, of course. 
“we confuse happiness with those magical moments of bliss. One can’t be in a state of bliss all the time, it’s just not possible.” I think that’s exactly what I tend to do and what prompted this post.
“That’s the trouble with humans, we’re always wanting more.” – true… but it also makes us constantly work to make ourselves and the world a better place.
@ Writer Dad: No punch in the head… but I’m jealous. My dad is like that. It’s a great way to live your life.
@ Suzie: “Right now I’m happy cause I will be getting a foot massage in a minute or two.” So, this is a moment of happiness… those are good too.
@ Max: “Some people tend to put the bar too high right from the start, making them feel like a failure.” This is a very important observation. I think it includes setting an impossible goal of “constant happiness”.
@ Dot H.: “I’m somewhat joy-impaired due to my upbringing.” A rough childhood can certainly make it very challenging to experience joy.
@ hyrcan: I think it’s true that if we only ever felt happiness, then we wouldn’t know to enjoy it anyway. Humans are capable of experiencing a vast array of emotions and that’s normal and fine. Personally, I would like to feel less restless, and to be content, or happy, or whatever you would like to call it, more often.
@ Marelisa: OK, now I have to check your last post. I have a feeling I know my results already but we’ll see.
@ SpaceAgeSage: I love this quote! And your own memoir… I think it applies to me too.
@ Ellen: “Do you want some of my philosophical meanderings?” Of coures I do! Why else do you think I am keeping you as a friend.
You bring up an interesting point: there’s nothing wrong with being unhappy. Pharmaceutical companies ARE trying to tell us that we should be in a constant state of happiness. I know a couple of people in real life who take “happy pills” and while those don’t make them HAPPY, they do seem to even out their moods. I don’t see myself ever taking those pills, mainly because I always worry about side effects (EVERY pill has side effects don’t let any doctor tell you otherwise) but also because I don’t really mind moods and I don’t aspire to always feel the same way.
I would, however, like to be more appreciative of what I’ve got and feel more CONTENT with things. I tend to feel restless, and while having a restless personality is VERY good for work (it makes me work harder) and works well in social situations (restless people always have something interesting on their minds so conversation is easy), I sometimes do wish I could be more at peace.
@ Sarah: I agree with you on all fronts: working towards a bigger goal; enjoying the intense moments of happiness that our relationships bring us; and never attaching emotional significance to owning material possessions. You are a very smart woman. I KNEW I liked you!
@ Davina: “I actually find it annoying if I’m around someone who “seems” to be happy all the time” – yes, people that are too upbeat can become annoying.
I’m sure the present state of things is temporary and things WILL get better.
@ Tim: I believe you. You ARE happy most of the time. I’ve read your books, and I read your blog regularly, and you are one of the few people I know that were able to get away from a miserable place (sickening stress) and find happiness and contentment. You are inspiring. And funny!
Barbara Swafford responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 10:27 am →
Hi Jackie O, Whoops, THAT”S Vered, looking happy.
Haha, you and I are both on the meme subject today. Great minds think alike, yeah?
I think happiness is a choice, and am generally a happy person. I know stuff doesn’t buy happiness, nor does leisure time. I think when we find a purpose for our lives, happiness ends up being one of the byproducts.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Open Mic – Monthly Mini Meme Friday
Ann at One Bag Nation responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 11:16 am →
I have to battle anxiety in my quest for happiness, but that’s more for happiness in the moment. If I look at the big picture, I’m very happy, despite the fact that there are things I’d like to be different in my life, some of which I can’t change.
I love the Six Word Memoir thing (but it sounds like I wouldn’t like memes too much!). I need to give that some thought.
Ann at One Bag Nation’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Chaos? What Chaos??
Becky responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 11:20 am →
You know what? I am happy. Most of the time at least. And I accept when I am not as par for the course.
Becky’s last blog post..She’s A 90210 Type Of Ho
Tim Brownson responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 11:33 am →
@ Scot – Ken Dodd is Alive, Alive-O. Although admittedly he looks a bit dead http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_dodd
Tim Brownson’s last blog post..The Unbearable Cuteness of Being
Avani-Mehta responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 11:37 am →
Vered, what will have to happen to make you feel that you are happy? Sometimes we equate happiness with feelings of excitement. But happiness can often be silent too.
Avani-Mehta’s last blog post..How Fart Can Make You Grow Spiritually – Su Dongpo’s Story
Bamboo Forest responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 11:38 am →
“Do you aspire to be generally happy or are you OK with just moments of happiness?”
I aspire to be generally happy. Happiness is a state of mind, not a destination. And one can actually work on becoming a happier person by working on their thought patterns and perspective of the world.
Happiness is an aspect of building ones character. A very important one. We should all strive to be happier people. For ourselves and those around us.
Bamboo Forest’s last blog post..7 Things That Seem Like a Good Idea at First (But Aren’t)
shay responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 12:27 pm →
Hey, just followed you over here from Aunt Becky’s blog and I loved this post.
I think happiness is a temporary emotion where as satifaction or joy is something that sort of simmers under the surface kwim?!
Anywho…love the pic! you’re gorj!
shay’s last blog post..Old friends and great times!
RC responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 12:56 pm →
The studies show Denmark is the country that ranks highest in happiness/contentment. This surpises the Danes, since they are frequently underdogs and have had a lot of struggles as a country.
This has led researchers to wonder if happiness is linked to not having such high expectations (always preparing for the worst, so being pleasantly surprised by whatever follows), and if that constant need to battle for everything you achieve leads folks to a higher level of euphoria when accomplishments are made.
Just a thought…
Natural responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 12:57 pm →
happy – fleeting moments – that’s what i think…i don’t know anyone happy all the time.
but me, am I happy. well it depends on what part of my life we’re talking about.
overall, i’m a happy and content person….
dissect that and you will find unhappiness in areas of my life
Natural’s last blog post..Are You Feeling Guilty Over Something?
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 1:04 pm →
Another vote for no tagging and no memes. I don’t like to be told what to write about but once I did write about not accepting a tag.
I’m mostly happy. I think it’s important to understand what’s going on when we aren’t happy. Comparisons for instance will trip up my happiness every time.
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work’s last blog post..Big Life Lessons and Hitting Bottom
Jill responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 1:29 pm →
Of course you are happy. Anyone who knows you, even a little, can tell that you are a person who thinks and struggles, but that you are essentially happy.
Me? I think I am fairly happy too.
zoe responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 2:35 pm →
I love your 6 word memior.
I’d say I’m generally pretty happy. I wouldn’t have always said that about myself, though. It’s taken me a LONG time, probably well into my 30′s, to realize that being happy doesn’t mean that every moment of life is wonderful. I’ve learned that sometimes life sucks and I’ll go through lows, but things always get worked out and life gets better. No one thing is the end of the world. Once I realized that I will likely never know what it all means, and I will likely not ever understand what the grand purpose of it all is, and I let go those types of things, or I at least stopped dwelling on them, I became a lot happier. That doesn’t mean I don’t still think about those things, I just have to remind myself that I only get one shot at life and I may as well enjoy it, whether those questions are ever answered shouldn’t have any bearing on my happiness.
zoe’s last blog post..blogging anonymously
Urbane Lion responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 2:58 pm →
I don’t care what the situation is but there is always a positive side to any situation that may be perceived as disastrous. We just need to find it and focus on it. Unfortunately the badder the situation, the longer it usually takes to find the positive side.
Urbane Lion’s last blog post..Fantastic bruschettas!
Mary responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 2:58 pm →
I got here through Stumble Upon and am glad have stumbled into this conversation. This topic has been on my mind for the past few months as I went from Happy to not and am now climbing back aboard the “Happy Train” again – it has been tough! A great article that helped me is called “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” – about a book called “The Science of Happiness” – funny how life works in concert- eh? (Nope – not Canadian – just lived there for a long time). The article is at Vision.org and in the “from the publisher – insights” section. There are some other articles there which I did not have a chance to read. One called “Rewiring the Brain” – I feel that happiness is more than merely chemical and more spiritual than my just my wiring – but I am speaking with out reading that one – very smart authors there on that site. Now I feel Happy to have been given the opportunity to join this discussion and community. Thanks!
Urban Panther responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 3:56 pm →
Yes, this past 18 months I have been happy, which I define as peaceful and content. Somedays I am completely joyous, other days blah. But I consider that completely normal. To live in entirely in a joyous state, or blah state, would be unhealthy. As with everything…all things in moderation..including euphoria. So to me, happy is the middle road. That comfortable place where all is right with the world.
Urban Panther’s last blog post..The toughest crowd yet
Andre Kibbe responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 4:46 pm →
I’m content, but not always happy. (Hmm, that’s six words if you don’t mind the contraction). I think Joel has it right. Happiness is overrated — at least chronic happiness. Having emotional highs, middles and lows adds texture to life.
Linda Abbit responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 7:10 pm →
Read your post this AM and gave it thought during the day, then saw your update when I returned. Glad you figured out there’s a difference between contentment and happiness or joy. I agree with hyrcan as he channeled Confucius there for a paragraph or two!
When you’ve faced death (as in a medical condition or near-fatal car accident as examples), I don’t think you ever look at life quite the same way again. You cherish every day you have and try not to let the little stuff get to you. Sure, we all get bogged down in “crap” from time-to-time, but so what? If you’re conscious of being “down” or “discontent” at times, do something to make yourself happier.
Life’s short, so live each day as if it’s your birthday! That’s what I try to do anyway.
Lance responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 7:55 pm →
I do aspire to be generally happy. And, in recent times, that has been the case. Of course, there are moments that are not always happy. But you know what, I’m really getting better at not letting the little things bug me. For instance, I was waiting to get hot water in our shower this morning. It was starting to frustrate me that it was taking a while (actually the normal amount of time, I was just impatient). Then I said to myself – at least I’ve got hot water, some people don’t. I should be thankful for what I do have. I instantly felt less-frustrated. And I’ve really been working at doing this more in my life – appreciating what I do have, not being angry or upset about what I don’t have.
Lance’s last blog post..Simple Fun
MomGrind responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 9:18 pm →
@ Barbara: “I think when we find a purpose for our lives, happiness ends up being one of the byproducts.” This is very true.
@ Ann: I’m glad that when you look at the big picture, you realize that you are happy. I would love to read your own six-word memoir if you feel like writing a post about it!
@ Becky: You are a smart woman.
@ Avani-Mehta: “Sometimes we equate happiness with feelings of excitement.” You know what? I think I am do that. Today’s discussion is really helping me to see that I AM happy. I just need to adjust my expectations as far as daily emotions and accept that I can’t spend my life in a constant state of WOW.
@ Bamboo Forest: I like your point of view. And I really like this sentence: “Happiness is a state of mind, not a destination.”
@ shay: Nice to meet you.
I think its true that there’s a distinction between happiness and contentedness, or satisfaction.
@ RC: Interesting! I definitely agree that expectations have a lot to do with it. Our generations feels ENTITLED to happiness. That might be a problem in itself.
@ Natural: Make sense. Happy in general, unhappy about specific areas.
@ Tom: I agree that comparing ourselves – to others or to different times in our own lives – are a great way to feel unhappy and dissatisfied.
@ Jill: Thank you.
I do think you are happy too.
@ zoe: You bring up a really important issue: the search for a meaning and the effect it has on happiness. I still dwell on that, and I have to admit that during periods of my life when I manage not to, I am considerably happier. I’m not sure if I can stop these thoughts completely though. They seem to be a part of my personality.
@ Urbane Lion: I like your attitude. It sounds really healthy.
@ Mary: It’s very nice to meet you.
Thank you for joining the discussion. Sounds like an interesting site – I will check it out.
@ Urban Panther: I think you’re right. Everything in moderation applies to happiness too!
@ Andre: “Having emotional highs, middles and lows adds texture to life.” I love this sentence. I am going to borrow it and use it sometime.
@ Linda: “When you’ve faced death (as in a medical condition or near-fatal car accident as examples), I don’t think you ever look at life quite the same way again. You cherish every day you have and try not to let the little stuff get to you”. People who faced death and survived often say, just like you, that they are in fact happier because they know not to sweat the small stuff. I wish I could learn to look at life this way without having to face death. It’s one of my goals but as you can see, I still struggle with it.
@ Lance: “I should be thankful for what I do have.” Ah, the magic words. Just like you, I’ve been trying to be more thankful and less whiny. You seem to be more successful at it than I am. But I am still working on it.
Evelyn Lim responds:
Posted: August 8th, 2008 at 9:50 pm →
I also agree with the no tagging. While it is flattering, I prefer not to deal with the “pressure”.
I do have my joyous or sad moments but find that I am not happy or sad most days. Just in a constant stream of thoughts. My new homework for myself is to just observe my thoughts.
Evelyn
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Walk On Water With 7 Magic Stones
Carla responds:
Posted: August 9th, 2008 at 1:16 am →
6 words: Lifelong dream goes unfulfilled; that’s life.
In terms of happiness, I have my moments and I even have my days. Having not fulled the biggest dream of my short life (motherhood) takes the overall joy out of life. Having brushed against motherhood and have it snatched out of my reach (stillbirth) has me living outside myself.
Happy? Yes, but I have to work hard for it.
Raymond White responds:
Posted: August 9th, 2008 at 4:30 am →
Hi Vered,
To quote the band Switchfoot,”Happiness is a yuppie word.”
We are never gonna be happy all the time in this world. The sole pursuit of your own happiness can leave you a very ‘unhappy’ selfish person. Happiness does not last however as one earlier comment said how would you know to be happy if you have never experienced sadness and loss and tough challenging times. Happiness in this world is fleeting and based more on emotion then anything else. The ‘happy feeling’ also drives our consumer orientated society of today.
Now joy is something else, much deeper. If you have joy this is a far more resilient feeling, joy gives you hope, makes you reach out to something/someone that is higher than yourself. It also involves more than just a feeling, it can be worked out by your intellect and reasoning and then be reflected in the person you are. It is not dependent on circumstances.
LoCTY!(Love of Christ To You)
PS. Sorry have not commented for a while have been ‘checking’ in here from time to time though.
Raymond White’s last blog post..Quote for the day (4)
Shilpan | successsoul.com responds:
Posted: August 9th, 2008 at 5:46 am →
Vered -
We are happy sometimes as we seek and receive praise from others. We are happy sometimes when our happiness comes from nature — enjoying the beauty of the nature or watching birds fly etc.
Happiness from within is the real, lasting happiness we can experience.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: August 9th, 2008 at 10:43 am →
@ Evelyn: “My new homework for myself is to just observe my thoughts.” Evelyn, have I told you that you inspire me? Yes I have but I’ll say it again.
@ Carla: I am so very sorry!
@ Raymond: Great to “see” you again! What a thoughtful comment. You gave me a lot to think about. Thank you.
@ Shilpan: Finding “Happiness from within” is the real challenge, isn’t it?
Irene | Light Beckons responds:
Posted: August 9th, 2008 at 6:23 pm →
Hi Vered,
I guess the definition of a perfect life varies with individuals. I feel being able to experience happiness, even if they are “fleeting moments”, is a blessing and the not-so-good times in-between do teach us to appreciate the good times even more. I am generally happy with the current, even though my moods are not always stable.
By the way, you look fabulous in that photo!
Irene | Light Beckons’s last blog post..Breaking Inertia
Don Mills Diva responds:
Posted: August 9th, 2008 at 7:29 pm →
I think I’m generally a pretty happy person though I’ve certainly seen my share of difficult times. I also believe that one should aspire towards an interesting life as opposed to a happy one and then happiness is likely to follow…
Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..Where humanity and hubris intersect
Al at 7P responds:
Posted: August 10th, 2008 at 4:48 am →
Echoing RC’s comment, I also found it interesting that Denmark was ranked number 1 in terms of happiness. I found out from a 60 Minutes piece. The US is ranked a distant 23rd, but there seems to be more attention here on whether we’ll win the most gold medals in the Olympics. I think that tells us something.
Also, I love your six-word memoir, and there were some really awesome ones in the comments!
Al at 7P’s last blog post..The Hero with a Thousand Jobs
Rita responds:
Posted: August 10th, 2008 at 8:47 pm →
Congratulations! Six words to sum it up – and to sum it up beautifully. I am STILL waiting to start the “about me” section of my blog, and I can’t even find the first word!
Though I’ve been called “wordy” (more by myself than anyone else), when it comes to talking about me, I reallly have trouble coming up with the words. Put me in a situation, and I can write about it, but ask me about me? Trouble.
You’ve done an admirable job! Would you mind telling me: was the first word the hardest to come up with?
Thanks,
Rita
Rita’s last blog post..Four Books That You Should Re-Read
theramblinghousewife responds:
Posted: August 10th, 2008 at 8:49 pm →
I am definitely happy–
Why should I not be?
Life is fun.
theramblinghousewife’s last blog post..Adventures in Car Buying (Part 1)
MomGrind responds:
Posted: August 10th, 2008 at 9:10 pm →
@ Irene: “I feel being able to experience happiness, even if they are “fleeting moments”, is a blessing”. I agree!
@ Don Mills Diva: “one should aspire towards an interesting life as opposed to a happy one and then happiness is likely to follow”. That’s an interesting idea. I never thought to aspire to an interesting life.
@ Al: I agree that the comments here are at least as good as the original post.
I’m aware that the U.S. is ranked low as far as quality of life goes. I always assumed it was because the welfare system here is lacking.
@ Rita: Thank you! What a fabulous comment. To me, it’s not about the first word. It’s about the idea, the concept. Once I have that, the rest follows. You really do need an About page! Ask yourself… who am I? Or, you could try asking your friends to say or write a sentence that defines you. Sometimes it’s easier for others.
@ theramblinghousewife: Life is fun… sometimes. But sometimes, it’s not. Love your attitude!
Quirky, Yet Boring | MomGrind responds:
Posted: September 4th, 2008 at 1:03 am →
[...] I have said here before that, being the seasoned blogger that I am (ha!), I’ve become a little rebellious when it [...]
Baldi responds:
Posted: October 1st, 2008 at 10:18 pm →
Great pic of you! Such a bright and genuine smile.
Happiness. We don’t know the definition and yet we all strive for it. We as humans have a tendency to count what what we don’t have, as opposed to what we do. The lack (perceived or real) of desired things makes us unhappy. It’s a short circuit in our brain that needs to be rewired. I have all the necessities of life and quite a few of the luxuries. there is no reason for me not be happy, but at times I focus on what I don’t have and that makes me unhappy. Solution, stop wanting those things
When I was younger, I placed a great emphasis on love and wanted to love and be loved. Now I just ignore it, hehe. Makes life simpler. And happier.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: October 1st, 2008 at 10:34 pm →
@ Baldi: Thank you.
It’s true. We always want more. I sometimes think it’s actually a good thing. Never being satisfied with what we’ve got is what makes humans progress, invent stuff, find solutions to problems, make the world a better (or at least a more convenient) place. But on an individual level, it sure makes us feel unhappy.
I know several people who decided that they are very happy by themselves and don’t need a partner to feel “complete.”
Are You Grateful? | MomGrind responds:
Posted: October 10th, 2008 at 1:03 am →
[...] Illuminated Mind asks this question in his post What’s Right With Your Life. Not knowing that I’m not crazy about memes, he tagged me. I will play along because I really like this question. I think it’s an [...]
Chris responds:
Posted: November 4th, 2009 at 10:59 pm →
I got here a little late but what a great conversation. I really enjoyed that!