Bikini Mishaps
Bikini mishaps prevention:
Image credit: nyctreeman. Ad circa 1931.
What exactly IS an “accredited swimsuit?”
Since one of my most embarrassing moments ever involved a bikini mishap, if “accredited” means “will always stay put,” I am all for it.
Have you ever had a swimsuit mishap or any other major wardrobe malfunction?
Related Reading: Plus Size Swimwear
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Scott McIntyre responds:
Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 10:33 pm →
So, Vered, I’m guessing that your swimwear that unfortunate day was an itsie bitsie, teeny weeny, kinda red faced a lot bikini?!
I am gladly able to report I have never suffered public humiliation due to my attire (Scott checks his belt is in order…)
Pamela responds:
Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 10:37 pm →
Maybe if you decided to change your clothes – the credit you earned wearing it is transferrable to your next outfit? (:
Pamela’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Olympic Gold Swimmers
Barbara Swafford responds:
Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 10:39 pm →
Hi Vered,
The only mishap I can think of is when I wore two different colored shoes to work. One was brown and one was black. I didn’t notice until after lunch, so kept my feet under the desk for the rest of the day. That’s what happens when we buy shoes in every color.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Blog Visitors – Like Kids In A Candy Store
elaine responds:
Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 10:50 pm →
one time when i lost a lot of weight, a group of us were walking out of a restaurant at night and i suddenly felt my skirt around my ankles lol lucky it was dark out and my skirt and leggings were black, i don’t think anybody noticed haha
elaine’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – vogue
MomGrind responds:
Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 10:53 pm →
@ Scott: I guess you could say so.
(Is there a blushing emoticon here??)
As for you… never say never!
@ Pamela: That’s an interesting theory.
@ Barbara: This never happened to me! That’s really funny.
@ elaine: Hey, that’s as funny as mine! Although in my case, I can’t say that no one noticed. So I guess mine is funnier (or more mortifying, depending on how you look at it).
Christina responds:
Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 10:54 pm →
I wouldn’t mind the “accredited swimsuit.” These days swimsuits are the size of floss!
Mike Goad responds:
Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 11:11 pm →
1973 — I was a student in the USN nuclear power program in Idaho, where we lived an hour or more from where we worked.
The crotch ripped out in my uniform pants halfway through the day.
There was no going home to change. The working day was 12 hours long for students and we weren’t allowed to drive to the site. We had to take the bus.
The solution: duct tape — except we called it “EB green.” Instead of the common gray color, this tape was dark green. The EB stood for Electric Boat, which was the name of a submarine shipyard in Connecticut.
So for 6 or more hours, I had to put up with the crotch of my pants taped up and the sarcastic remarks of the students AND, of course, the instructors.
Mike Goad’s last blog post..Why the change from the same old, same old?
Bamboo Forest responds:
Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 11:13 pm →
hmmm… I don’t think I’ve had a wardrobe malfunction.
But in middle school while I was standing – someone got behind me and pulled my shorts down. In front of everyone. In class.
Bamboo Forest’s last blog post..The Frightening Truth about Bloggers
clarence responds:
Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 11:43 pm →
Oh no! The old bikini-top mishap. Yes. Have had said wardrobe malfunction. And let us never speak of it again.
That jantzen swimsuit is quite cute, I’d wear it. Nice not so wordless wednesday.
clarence’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Davina responds:
Posted: August 12th, 2008 at 11:43 pm →
The only thing I can think of is a trip I took to a weekly farm auction with my family. I was about 10 years old and forgot to put on my shoes. I spent the day wandering around outside and inside the barns… in my slippers. I was pretty shy in those days, so you can imagine how embarassing that was!
Davina’s last blog post..Bears Come Calling
Max Forlani responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 12:42 am →
Hi Vered,
the only wadrobe malfunction I can think of was a few years ago while doing waterskiing. As you may know, the man ‘driving’ the boat is a crucial part of it. But since it was in a holiday resort, halfway the bay the macho animator suddenly showed more interest in his guest female passenger than normal. As a result, we were heading for a ship.
When he noticed, all of a sudden he turned the wheel a bit to sharp, which made me hit the water very hard. So hard, that I had to let air-bubbles go to determine which side was up to reach the surface. And once there, I noticed that apart from the ski’s, also my swimming short was floating around. It goes without saying that I went for my short first and let the driver pick up the skis
Cheers,
Max
Max Forlani’s last blog post..Setting Milestones
Busymama Kellie responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 1:41 am →
Hmm, I guess mine would be the time I was wearing a dress on a windy day. Picking up lunch in crowded downtown Honolulu. Holding my lunch in one hand and my drink in the other. Then the wind blew…. My dress reached my chin and I was wearing a thong. Enough said.
Busymama Kellie’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Patience
Ryanne responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 1:47 am →
Great find on the old advert. reminds me of one of my all time favorite old movies with Ester Williams and Red Skelton….Neptune’s Daughter. They have those kinds of suits on there. I try to avoid the bikini, that old fear of losing part, and all!
MizFit responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 3:17 am →
I think we should all just swim nekid.
its far more flattering IMO than suits which ‘cut’ us here or there…and having had a bikinitopLOST it would save me more embarrassment.
hmmm
ok maybe just topless.
Kelly@SHE-POWER responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 4:27 am →
An accredited swimsuit has to make your butt, legs and boobs look good in my opinion. I’ll not be handing out any accreditation without these vital areas covered, hiked and accentuated. If by chance you do find such an accredited swimsuit email me before the weather heats up in November.
And as a body boarder and try-hard surfer I have had many swimsuit mishaps over the years. The worst involved losing a $60 bikini top and having to leave the water with a board under one arm and my other arm trying to shield my ample bosom.
I met a very cute surfer boy with the requisite long mane of sun streaked hair, broad shoulders, taut abs and tattoos that day. Though I’m sure it had nothing to do with the bared bosom. What man would be so shallow?
Ahh good times…
Kelly
happyathome responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 5:23 am →
And they still make great swim suits! Happy WW! Stop by my WW for a boat ride on the CT river!
http://www.lifeislikechampagneblog.com/
happyathome’s last blog post..Cake For A Cause
David "CrazyKinux" Perry responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 5:42 am →
Would pants splitting in the middle of your derriere, as you’re making moves on the dance floor be considered a wardrobe malfunction? If so, than yes! =)
Evelyn Lim responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 5:55 am →
I can most certainly relate to Kelly’s experience. I used to wakeboard and having swimsuit mishaps were not uncommon. Fortunately, they were never all that a disaster and I could stay in the water long enough to make any necessary adjustments.
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..7 Wise Confucius Sayings
Stacey / CreateaBalance responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 6:16 am →
The fine print on the ad says “colors as gay as the Junior prom”. One of my highlighted wardrobe malfunctions was simply the dress I picked for prom. It has black and white poka-dots and an enormous pink bow on the back. What was I thinking back in the 80′s?
Stacey / CreateaBalance’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Juicy Pens Thirsty Paper!
Renee responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 6:39 am →
Ha ah ! this is so funny but I know too well I you felt!!! One piece is the way to go!!!!
Writer Dad responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 6:45 am →
I have not ever had a wardrobe malfunction. However, that is exactly what was responsible for my first glimpse of the flesh the fairer sex outside my own family. I was eight years old at summer camp. A bee flew in front of my counselor’s face. She started to swat at it, and somehow lost her top. It fell to the sand, and so did my jaw.
Writer Dad’s last blog post..Crabs Don’t Walk Straight For a Reason
Colleen responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 6:57 am →
I need a matching bathing cap for my swimsuit now! Enjoy the week!
Colleen’s last blog post..Inside a Toddler’s Mind (Wordless Wednesday)
Suzie responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 7:27 am →
I once went on a date with a really cute guy. I was crossing the street and my wrap around skirt unwrapped and fell off. I got lots of honks and a second date so not so bad I guess.
Suzie’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
SpaceAgeSage responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 7:39 am →
Only in those really embarrassing dreams … where everyone is looking at you funny and then you look down to see something is missing. I haven’t had such a dream in a long time, thankfully!
SpaceAgeSage’s last blog post..In the eye of the beholder …
Maya responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 7:49 am →
Just the usual ops…when the bikini top moves in a direction that it’s not supposed to.
Maya’s last blog post..Beach Goers Pics -What do you do on the Beach…
Kmommy @ The Poopie Patrol responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 7:54 am →
LOL! accredited??? Luckily I’ve never had a wardrobe malfunction that I can remember. I have been witness to many bikini top malfunctions though!! Just awful.
Kmommy @ The Poopie Patrol’s last blog post..Summer Fun
Becky responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 9:10 am →
Of course! I’ve lost both top AND bottom, although not at the same time.
Becky’s last blog post..Things That Make You Go Grrrr!
Mojo responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 9:37 am →
I don’t know what an “accredited swimsuit” is but if they’re taking applications for the review board I’m so there!
The most embarrassing wardrobe malfunction story I ever heard came from the local dog park where a young woman related the tale of the time her dog “pantsed” her in front of a park packed with dogs and their humans. And apparently it was *ahem* “laundry day” for her (do I need to draw you a picture?) Oh sure, it’s funny now…
Mojo’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Wet or Dry?
Linda Abbit responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 10:03 am →
Fun post, Vered!
No wardrobe malfunctions here, but I’m enjoying all the other stories your readers are sharing.
It’s strange but once I became a Mom (at age 35), I never could wear a bikini again. Not due to my body b/c I’ve always been petite and got my body back after giving birth (luckily), but psychologically it didn’t feel right to me to wear a revealing bikini once I became a Mom. Weird, huh?
Linda Abbit’s last blog post..Let’s Pay it Forward and Help Another Blogger!
Randall responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 10:20 am →
Now that is classic! And timely too.
Randall’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Kim Woodbridge responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 10:35 am →
Ummm … that would be walking 5 blocks to work with my skirt tucked into my tights in the back. I can’t believe no one stopped me to let me know
Kim Woodbridge’s last blog post..Twellow – Categorize Your Twitter Self
theramblinghousewife responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 10:46 am →
I actually had a “near-miss” just the other day. . . .
I was holding my 3 year old in the swimming pool, when he suddenly grabs the strap that is tied around my neck and pulls it.
“Hey, Mommy!! What’s this for?” he asks as my my bathing suit begins to fall from around my neck.
Luckily I was able to drop him briefly, grab it, and re-tie it. (He did almost drown in the process, but well, you know . . .priorities .. .) lol
theramblinghousewife’s last blog post..Adventures in Car Buying Part III
Michelle @ What Does Your Body Good? responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 10:52 am →
Colors as gay as the Junior Prom…haha!
Michelle @ What Does Your Body Good?’s last blog post..More juicing, less ironing
MomGrind responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 11:10 am →
@ Christina: “These days swimsuits are the size of floss!” SO TRUE!
@ Mike: “AND, of course, the instructors.” Of course. Those six hours must have felt like 12!
@ Bamboo Forest: Oh no! In middle school! That’s so cruel. Although we can now laugh about it, I’ll never understand why some people can be so mean to others.
@ clarence: It IS cute. I like the way it’s cut.
@ Davina: I sometimes walk out of the house with my slippers still on. The kids usually remind me. It’s not too bad though because it’s just a pair of flip-flops.
@ Max: “It goes without saying that I went for my short first and let the driver pick up the skis”. Sounds like a smart move.
@ Busymama Kellie: That’s a Marilyn Monroe type wardrobe malfunction! Cool.
@ Ryanne: Yeah, bikinis are not very practical, are they?
@ MizFit: I agree! Swimsuits are rarely truly flattering.
@ Kelly: “and my other arm trying to shield my ample bosom.” I laughed so hard when I read that.
Looks like it didn’t turn out too badly, though. 
@ David “CrazyKinux” Perry: Yes. This absolutely qualifies as a wardrobe malfunction.
@ Evelyn: “Fortunately, they were never all that a disaster and I could stay in the water long enough to make any necessary adjustments.” Well… mine happened on dry land. No water whatsoever.
@ Stacey: Ah, the dangerous combination of eighties fashion and prom dresses…
@ Renee: A one-piece swimsuit is certainly a safer choice.
@ Writer Dad: That’s a great story! No wonder it was burned into your memory forever.
@ Suzie: “I got lots of honks and a second date so not so bad I guess.” Not at all.
@ SpaceAgeSage: I read somewhere that almost everyone has the occasional dream where they find themselves naked in public.
@ Maya: Bikini tops are challenging, aren’t they?
@ Kmommy: Yeah, these are never fun.
@ Becky: Really? Your bottom? I’m impressed.
@ Mojo: Some stories are so funny when they are told after the event, but while it happens, it is absolutely mortifying.
@ Linda: It IS interesting. I wrote about this in the past and might revisit it again – the notion that some clothes are not appropriate once you become a mom. I do still wear a bikini (despite that unfortunate event). I fully admit to being vain. I work hard to have great abs and I want to show them off!
@ Kim: You know, that’s always a huge dilemma. Do you tell a perfect stranger that their skirt is tucked into their tights.. that they have spinach between their teeth etc. I tend to err on the side of telling people, and they are always very grateful, but I think many people just feel too embarrassed to approach a stranger and tell them about something like this.
@ theramblinghousewife: “He did almost drown in the process, but well, you know . . .priorities”. Of course I can relate! I’m a mom too!
My own malfunction happened when I picked my youngest (then 2 years old) up. Somehow, the movement of bending down and picking her up caused the clasp to open. I have since started buying tops that have straps that can be tied (rather than a clasp), and I tie them VERY well.
Cath Lawson responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 11:27 am →
Hi Vered – that swimsuit looks more like a minidress to me. The wardrobe malfunction that springs to mind is the figure hugging miniskirt I made myself when I was 13. It fell apart at the seams the first time I wore it. I hadn’t really taken into account that I would actually need to be able to walk in it.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Frugal or Flashy In Business – Who Wins?
Tim Brownson responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 11:50 am →
Like most people I have dived into a pool and lost my shorts, but unlike most people I actually didn’t notice and jumped out at the other end to gasps of shock and outrage. That’s the last time I go swimming at the Boy Scouts Jamboree let me tell you.
Marelisa responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 12:31 pm →
I went for a long walk on the beach in Costa Rica and when I was really far away from our hotel the snap on my bikini top broke off. I had to walk all the way back (I’m talking about a forty minute walk) holding my bikini top up.
Marsha (at JustMe1947) responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 12:33 pm →
I love these vintage ads! This post reminds me of a swimsuit incident at a pool many, many years ago. It’s still embarrassing to me… nothing I did but something that happened to me because of the suit I was wearing. Maybe I’ll post that story on my blog someday!
I’m running late but finally have my WW post up for today. Please stop by if you get a chance!
Just Some Thoughts
Marsha (at JustMe1947)’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – August 13, 2008
Urban Panther responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 12:43 pm →
First I’ll share a story of a friend on mine. She was on a beach in Mexico, lying there soaking up the rays, when she felt something. Turns out a boob had slipped out of her bikini top, and a stranger was put her back into it. She married him. *smile*
As for me, I always left leaving for high school way too late in the morning. I also had some really beat up pair of cords that I used for hacking around in that had the arse end seriously ripped. Turns out, in my rush, I put on that pair and headed off to school. It was significantly into the day before I realized my error! Of course, nowadays, my son’s girlfriend deliberately walks around in tight jeans with the arse ripped and flesh exposed. At least I had full panties on!
Urban Panther’s last blog post..He’s a scamp
kat responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 1:30 pm →
Yes, at a pool once, at a condo vacation type place (so somewhat private but mostly public) I got out and I guess my bikini didn’t stay “in position.” A lady actually came up to me to ask if that was intentional. I was mortified, especially after, when I looked over and saw she had two teenage boys in tow. Sigh.
kat’s last blog post..Experiment in the kitchen
Al at 7P responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 3:42 pm →
I will never buy swim trunks with pockets. Sand gets collected in them when you’re at the beach, and it tends to make the trunks heavier, enough to make it impossible for the strings to keep the trunks up.
It’s very hard to look at friends of the opposite sex the same way again after they saw more of you than you preferred
Al at 7P’s last blog post..The Hero with a Thousand Jobs
MomGrind responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 4:30 pm →
@ Cath: “I hadn’t really taken into account that I would actually need to be able to walk in it.” Sewing is challenging! I took a private sewing lesson once and the results were quite disastrous.
@ Tim: You always make me laugh, you know? Of course you know. I’ll say it anyway. I LOVE the way you always make me laugh.
@ Marelisa: That sounds EXHASTING.
@ Marsha: Now I’m curious to know what happened… you should blog it!
@ Urban Panther: I can’t believe he did that! And she ended up marrying him!
I agree that those ripped pants would probably be considered very fashionable these days.
@ kat: “A lady actually came up to me to ask if that was intentional.” Well… I think she did the right thing. As I said before, it’s always a dilemma whether to approach a stranger with an obvious clothing malfunction (or lipstick-stained teeth or whatever), but in my opinion the right thing to do is to approach them.
@ Al: “It’s very hard to look at friends of the opposite sex the same way again after they saw more of you than you preferred”. Ha. I guess it is!
Sarah responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 4:57 pm →
That is too funny. Have you seen the movie, Atonement? Keira Knightley wore a swimsuit and cap rather like that one in it.
As for wardrobe malfunctions…too many to count, and the worst ones are too embarrassing to recount in public. LOL!
Sarah’s last blog post..I Can’t Keep Up Anymore!
Natural responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 5:18 pm →
never had a wardrobe malfunction, but should i ever, i feel sorry for the eyes of the beholders.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: August 13th, 2008 at 8:05 pm →
@ Sarah: Haven’t seen it… I get to watch chick flicks very rarely because Ido refuses to watch them, and when I get together with a girlfriend, we usually prefer to TALK so a movie seems like a waste of time.
@ Natural: LOL @ “i feel sorry for the eyes of the beholders.” You’re being hard on yourself. Women do that, don’t they?
Tiff@Three Peas responds:
Posted: August 14th, 2008 at 11:25 am →
I’m all for it if I can look that good. LOL!
Tiff@Three Peas’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Rita responds:
Posted: August 14th, 2008 at 2:19 pm →
Vered,
I love looking at those older ads! They’re so much fun! BUT (here it comes) what’s so bad about a bikini that doesn’t “stay put?” In Europe, South America and PLENTY of places in the U.S. you don’t have to worry about it “staying put” if you don’t bother worrying about wearing it!
Rita
Rita’s last blog post..The FIRST Time I Almost Got Expelled from College
Urbane Lion responds:
Posted: August 14th, 2008 at 2:28 pm →
I’m an exhibitionist! I don’t worry about wardrobe malfunctions too much! LOL
Urbane Lion’s last blog post..The Naked Lion
Sara at On Simplicity responds:
Posted: August 14th, 2008 at 6:47 pm →
Oh dear. My most significant wardrobe malfunction happened on a very popular street on the busiest night of the year. Some random dude who had had one too many drinks decided to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder, and run across the street (against the light, of course!)
When he set me down on the other side, my friend was madly waving me down. I waved back to reassure her that I was okay. As she ran over and wrapped her arms around me (once the light changed), I realized it wasn’t my safety she was concerned about. My shirt had shifted in the shuffle and I was exposed to the world.
That shirt immediately lost all accreditation.
Sara at On Simplicity’s last blog post..Five Myths About Simplicity Busted
phyllis responds:
Posted: August 14th, 2008 at 7:34 pm →
that’s pretty funny…what *is* accredited!? i, thankfully, cannot think of a personal wardrobe malfunction. i’m sure there has been one but i must have blocked it from my memory:-)
phyllis’s last blog post..Random Meme from FrumeSarah
RC responds:
Posted: August 14th, 2008 at 8:51 pm →
I say just bring back the full body suit swim wear… 19th century, here we come…
RC’s last blog post..Spaghetti Escapes
MomGrind responds:
Posted: August 14th, 2008 at 10:21 pm →
@ Rita: No doubt it’s all about social conventions. I freely admit that I do follow many of them.
@ Urbane Lion: Then you probably agree with Rita, in the comment just above yours.
@ Sara: “That shirt immediately lost all accreditation.” I bet it did.
@ phyllis: If you can’t remember any, it probably never happened!
Dot H. responds:
Posted: August 15th, 2008 at 10:17 am →
I don’t know what “accredited” means here either. I also don’t know when everyone stopped calling them “bathing suits” and started saying, “swimsuits,” unless it was a regional thing.
I’ve had too many wardrobe mishaps to remember them all. One memorable one was tucking my dress into the back of my pantihose and then leaving the washroom at work. Luckily someone stopped me before too long. I also have developed a new habit in my “old” age — forgetting to zip up. I’ve done this at least a dozen times. You’d think I’d learn. The most embarrassing one was very recently. I was wearing a blouse that was a bit too tight and just as one of the guys who works here held the door for me, one of the buttons popped open. I didn’t notice anything until I saw him staring intently at the wall and wondered why.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: August 17th, 2008 at 9:01 pm →
@ Dot H.: Those are all funny! Well, I’m sure they weren’t funny WHILE they were happening but they make for great stories now.
Mom39 responds:
Posted: August 21st, 2009 at 9:26 am →
Girls these days are just really pushing the limits on swimwear and bikini swimsuits. Especially, when they feel that have more leeway at private backyard swimming pools. I have had to institute minimum rules for bikinis worn by my son’s girlfriends when they visit our family swimming pool. 1) No g-strings (thongs are okay). 2) No sheer, mesh or see-thru. 3) No “sling-shots.” 4) Bikini cups must be large enough to cover the bottom of the breast and the nipples. 5) Bikini tops must stay ON. You’d be amazed at what I’ve seen when looking out the back window over my kitchen sink.
Mike YK Paahana responds:
Posted: September 28th, 2009 at 2:38 pm →
i always cruz down by the beach or boat ramp waiting 4 1 girls top to slip off
Swimwearplace responds:
Posted: June 14th, 2010 at 1:58 pm →
I have found wonderful vintage French swimwear for my shop but struggle to put a year to them. I have one listed on from Jantzen, navy colours but I really struggle to find others like it, to judge the year.