Vogue Magazine: Your Articles Make My Brain Hurt
Leafing through some women’s magazines while waiting for a hair appointment, I came across an interesting article in a Vogue magazine. In fact, the article’s opening paragraph completely changed my life:
“There are three things a woman really needs at 38: a husband, at least one child, and a dress with long sleeves.”
Brilliant.
The husband and child need not be explained. It is a well-known fact that a woman cannot be complete unless she is married and a mother.
The long sleeves were baffling, until I read further and learned that a woman must always be ashamed of her arms and cover them: “A lot of women who have flabby arms think they have to wear sleeves. But I think if you have muscly arms, you must cover them. You must soften them!”
Of course. Regardless of how your body looks, you must be ashamed of it and cover it. Flabby arms? Cover them! You work out and have great biceps? OMYGOD YOU’RE NOT FEMININE, COVER THOSE UNSIGHTLY MUSCLES! You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t.
The article ends with the heartbreaking story of an evening gone very, very wrong: “I made a grave error. I had been invited to a dinner party at a grand house in the English countryside… I decided to wear a sleeveless Zac Posen dress. I arrived to find the hostess in gray silk and diamonds. The other girls were in chiffons… the men were in white tuxedos.”
So we already know this was a party for school girls and adult men. Because who in their right mind would call a grown woman “a girl?” That would be demeaning, belittling and totally inappropriate.
She continues: “It was pouring rain. Despite the storm, the hostess elected to keep the huge windows of her dining room thrown open all night… I was forced to put an inexpensive Club Monaco turtleneck over my Zac dress . I felt cold and unchic. If only I had worn sleeves.”
I think my head just exploded.
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Tracy responds:
Posted: November 25th, 2008 at 10:56 pm →
Heh, I’m surprised they didn’t mention the heart break of arm hair. The living hell that is keratosis pilaris. The agony of dry, scruffy elbows!
Does it count if the long sleeves are full of holes like the ones in the picture?
veena responds:
Posted: November 25th, 2008 at 11:43 pm →
it’s all so full of shit isn’t it? I can’t stand these mags. and look at one of the cover stories- beauty and brains… like that’s a rare combo…
Jelveh responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 1:56 am →
yes well, at 44 having commited all of the crimes mentioned in the vogue artical I must admit that there is no reason for women like me to even live…how sad really, it took me years to get this whole issue of shame and being asked to live by others standards…but its never too late to let your arms hang out and scream from the top of your lungs yes I am a women without a child, WHAT OF IT…?
Thanks for sharing…
Lee responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 2:31 am →
Wait, why doesn’t the requirement for a husband and child need to be explained? Can a woman not remain independent, and elect to be childless? You’re saying that she does have a duty to society, to make a man happy and also to procreate?
Avital responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 2:42 am →
That’s hilarious… This is why when I leaf through a fashion magazine I only look at the pictures… On the surface it looks very shallow but it is well known that two negatives make a positive
Wesley responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 2:47 am →
Hey, it may not be your taste, but you shouldn’t automatically judge any woman who does like to read Vogue. That author thinks women should cover their arms, and you disagree, and that’s fine.
veena responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 3:11 am →
by the way i read vogue too but only for the fashion
Noble Savage responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 3:32 am →
Where does she judge other women who read Vogue? I’m sure not seeing it.
I hate hate HATE when people call women ‘girls’ but the men ‘men’. So infuriating.
kathy responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 3:58 am →
Although the article you read was clearly brain numbing, I’m in favor of any advice that encourages a bit more modesty. I live in South Florida where girls and women alike display too much. The beach is one thing, but a constant parade of cleavage and tummies even at a professional workplace leaves me bewildered. Do others find it difficult to hold a professional discussion with another woman whose breasts are desperately trying to escape their barely-contained restraints? Or is it just me?
Emma responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 4:15 am →
I just stumbled on this article and laughed, a lot! I can’t believe that any woman writer today could write such drivel. It totally dismisses so many women… women who choose not to marry, women who don’t want children – or can’t have them. Women who want to wear what they feel comfortable in and aren’t ashamed of their bodies… This is the reason I don’t read womens magazines anymore… maybe I should if I can find gems like this in them!
“The other girls were in chiffons” it is implied the writer is a woman in her late 30’s – otherwise she shouldn’t be presuming to write about what 38 year olds need… she still thinks of herself and her peers as “girls”…. agh.
Betsy Wuebker responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 5:32 am →
If you really want to feel like banging someone’s head, read W. I worked in that industry. Talk about creating a house of cards and selling it! Are we really that gullible? I’m on an email list of queries from publicists and reporters and I’m telling you, the subject matter they assign themselves is BANAL!!!
A while back, in Oprah’s magazine, there was this woman who was going on and on in an article, written under her real byline, about how inadequate her husband and marriage were, and how she longed for divorce every now and then, blah blah blah. But, evidently, she was just comfortable enough not to do it, or didn’t have the stones, or what. I thought, how many trees died so this drivel could be published. And…I hope her husband is fooling around with a truckstop waitress while she’s complaining over a $50 lunch how inadequate he is. Crikey!
Is this what women of a certain social strata or geographic location really think? Then there are harridans like Maureen Dowd and Peggy Noonan. (I’m an equal opportunity basher, here). I wish someone would permanently put them all out of our misery. When was the last time anyone wore chiffon? I think it was a Mother Of the Bride in the 1970’s?
Thanks, Vered. This is why we love you. We get to be peevish here.
Kelly@SHE-POWER responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 5:36 am →
Ridiculous article, no need to say more. Gorgeous cover though – big fan of Rachel Weisz. But I’m going to open myself up to ridicule by saying I do use the word “girls” for women and “chicks” too and I like both. I don’t think it’s demeaning just from the use of the word; it’s HOW it’s used that can offend. As a woman I would never be offended by another woman calling me a girl – I prefer a cool chick myself
– but it might feel different if a man I didn’t know used it. Then again I hate the word “lady”. MusicMan took me to a work function years ago and an associate said in earshot of me, “You have a lovely young lady there,” and it just made me cringe, like I was a new coat he was showing off. I really had to bite my tongue not to swear excessively just to make him swallow his words. Young lady indeed; I’ll show him!
Kelly
Miranda responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 6:03 am →
Wow. I don’t ever read those magazines. I know that they provide entertainment and comfort for many women, but I’ve never been interested. “Women’s interest” (Family Circle, Cosmo, etc.) magazines just don’t seem to be in line with my individual and specific interests. I put games on my cell phone so that if I’ve ever in a pinch, I can play a game — and it just looks like I’m texting.
Mike Goad responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 6:09 am →
That’ll teach ya!
When I went to the clinic the other day, I stopped before I got to my truck and went back in and picked up the book I’m reading — “Audacity of Hope” by you-know-who — because I knew I was going to be there a while.
With my luck this week, all that would be available to read when I got there would be medical pamphlets or — gasp — women’s magazines, and I
dwon’t read either of those.There’s an audience for those articles or they would be published.
Just imagine, though, fifty years from now, when someone posts to their blog — or whatever the equivalent is then — pictures from Vogue ads of today.
I managed to finish a chapter and an half in the hour and a half that I was in the clinic.
Mike Goad responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 6:10 am →
correction: would = wouldn’t in 4th article
Mike Goad responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 6:12 am →
correction of correction: article = paragraph.
Slow down, Mike!
Mark responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 6:55 am →
I can’t stand those hyped up, photo shopped, altered magazines! Such a false sense of reality. Anyway…Have a fantastic Thanksgiving!
Writer Dad responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 7:03 am →
Vered, never, NEVER forget your ipod again. Horrifying.
Kim Woodbridge | (Anti) Social Development responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 7:39 am →
Ok – how can I get a job writing for these magazines? Because I can write bigger crap than that.
I’m with Miranda – I would have played with my phone. Or did they have those books of different haircuts? I don’t mind looking at those …
Jewel/Pink Ink responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 7:46 am →
I think my arms look better with long sleeves on
I used to read women’s magazines, but I stopped when I realized my teen daughter was looking over my shoulder.
zoe responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 8:00 am →
Geeze, and people have a hard time understanding why I don’t feel like I’m really a women. It’s crap that article that make me feel that I don’t belong.
And besides, owning a long sleeved dress doesn’t mean you have the common sense to wear it when you should.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 8:05 am →
@ Tracey: I guess it counts… as long as it SOFTENS your muscly arms.
@ veena: I can’t stand them either. As for reading for fashion, thanks to photoshop and to the models’ ultra thinness, even the photos in the fashion spreads are not something I can relate to anymore. And I do love fashion.
@ Jelveh: Shame – that’s exactly what bothers me. The message that we should be ashamed of how we look. And the ideal gets narrower and narrower – now even muscles are not OK anymore.
@ Lee: I was being sarcastic.
@ Avital: I used to enjoy fashion spreads. I do love fashion. But lately I can’t even enjoy this aspect, because the photos are too unreal. I just can’t relate to any of this anymore.
@ Wesley: I’m not judging Vogue readers. I’m judging the article author and the magazine editor. I think they convey messages that are very damaging to women’s self esteem.
@ Noble Savage: I agree. If she said “girls” and “boys”, that would have been fine. But the fact that she used “girls” for women and “men” for men delivers a message that I can’t keep quiet about.
@ kathy: “a constant parade of cleavage and tummies even at a professional workplace leaves me bewildered.” I do agree. I don’t want to see female cleavage at the office, just as I don’t wish to see a hairy chest peeking from an open dress shirt. Some things are inappropriate in a work environment.
@ Emma: After reading this article, it did cross my mind that if I subscribed to Vogue, I would have plenty of material for this blog.
@ Betsy Wuebker: “I thought, how many trees died so this drivel could be published.” This is EXACTLY what I was thinking as I was reading that article.
@ Kelly: I think the main problem is that she used “girls” and “men” in the same paragraph. If she used “boys”, I would have been fine with that. Your “young lady” story is hilarious.
@ Miranda: Hmm games on cell phone. Maybe I should do that next time.
@ Mike Goad: “There’s an audience for those articles or they wouldn’t be published.” Sadly, I agree.
@ Mark: Me too.
@ Writer Dad: I won’t.
@ Kim Woodbridge: They did have those books with funny haircuts. Yeah, that would have been a better option.
@ Jewel: “I used to read women’s magazines, but I stopped when I realized my teen daughter was looking over my shoulder.” Interesting observation. I’ve always been a feminist, but now that my daughters are 7 and 9, I do it for them as much as I do it for me.
@ zoe: I think an article like that makes lots of women feel like they don’t belong, like they’re not doing things right.
Kirsten responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 8:16 am →
Horrid article, no question! And I’ve certainly encountered similar ones in other magazines.
But I do find that some women’s magazines are better than others. I read Women’s Health, and occasionally Self or Shape. While I could do with fewer stories about pregnancy, they generally promote living a healthy, happy lifestyle with tips on exercising, eating healthfully and sanely, good mental health, and fashion and make-up articles that could actually apply to real women. I recently picked up a copy of Glamour and was surprised to find an article about the first child bride in Yemen who successfully obtained a divorce, and another article about a women from El Salvador who was adopted by an American during the civil war and then traveled back to El Salvador as an adult.
Not all magazines aimed at women are all drivel, all the time.
Tabitha (From Single to Married) responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 8:16 am →
wow. I thought you were kidding at first – was that a real article? unbelievable!
Tara@Sticky Fingers responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 8:22 am →
OH. MY. GOD.
It doesn’t happen often, but words fail me. I have two words actually. Utter horseswill!
Suzie responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 8:39 am →
That is one story. I was just feeling bad about that 13 year old girl being stoned to death in Somalia but the sleevless dress now that really depresses me
MommyNamedApril responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 8:42 am →
really???? that is terrible. i don’t read women’s magazines, mostly bc i prefer the internet and things that make me laugh. but this post makes me glad that i don’t read women’s magazines. wow. wonder what they’d think of my second hand wardrobe???
happy thanksgiving
Stacey / Create a Balance responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 9:01 am →
Next time if you forget your ipod, I recommend doing what I do (instead of reading brain-hurting magazines) — sleep in the chaor and enjoy the relaxtion.
Lily responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 9:04 am →
Good God. *shakes head in shame*
Friar responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 9:06 am →
A lot of women can’t stand these type of publications.
But a lot of them apparently DO…because otherwise, why are so many women’s magazines still in print after so many decades? There’s obviously a demand for them.
Makes you wonder…who’s the majority?
I’m not judging…but it’s food for thought, eh?
Kim responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 9:35 am →
I refuse to read them. I will read a Guns and Ammo magazine before I pick up one of those vile things. Why do women participate in this? That includes the models and starlets who grace the front of these rags and the women who purchase them. We women are oppressed by this type of media brain washing on so many different levels.
I never got the husband or kids. I guess it’s because I let my unsightly flabby arms hand out of that sleeveless dress.
Whatever.
Sara B. Healy responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 9:38 am →
I enjoyed this post as I also end up thumbing through women’s magazines when I get my hair cut and they make me mad too. I must admit, I don’t often read the articles, however. After your experience, I’m sort of glad I don’t.
I think the United States has a warped idea of what women should look like. I like the way the British approach this issue. Their attitude seems a bit more relaxed. Look at any BBC shows and you’ll find the women stars are frequently more rubenesque and/or as the dating sites would say more “curvy.” They don’t seem to view the overly thin, anorexic woman as the “perfect” type like we do in the States. I believe their attitude is more realistic.
Just my two cents!
Chelsea responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 9:52 am →
Oh this made my day to read. I guess since I have to wear a golf t-shirt (yes, t-shirt, the shame) at work I should put in my notice. OoOOOooo Vogue.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 9:56 am →
@ Kirsten: “Not all magazines aimed at women are all drivel, all the time.” I agree. I think you should ask yourself: do I feel better about myself after reading a magazine, or worse? My experience: I tend to feel worse. So I stopped reading them. But if you find that you feel better after reading certain magazines, then sure, why not, go ahead and read them.
@ Tabitha: Yes, a real article.
@ Tara: I agree!
@ Suzie: I know, poor thing, she had such a terrible evening.
@ MommyNamedApril: Second hand wardrobe? But that’s “inexpensive!”
@ Stacey: That’s a good idea. I felt anything but relaxed after reading that article.
@ Lily: Me too.
@ Friar: The majority of women don’t see what we feminists see. But feminists were never the majority and it never stopped us from achieving social change.
@ Kim: Whenever the question of “why do the models agree to this” arises, I quote something that a reader of mine said a long time ago. He said “Personal gains, be it money, power or fame, often trump one’s self-identification with class, gender, ethnicity or race.”
@ Sara B. Healy: I agree that the UK “standards” are more realistic. But you shouldn’t get me started on female newswomen – stick thin, tight skinned and perfectly coifed, while the men are often much older and are actually allowed to show aging signs.
@ Chelsea: I think you should.
Squawkfox responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 10:09 am →
I keep a photo retoucher on speed dial just so I can wear short sleeves in public when photographed by paparazzi. Every woman over 38 has a Photoshop expert, non?
Rivster responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 10:26 am →
Any chance this was meant as a parody? Because if not, this article would be enough for me to cancel my subscription (if I had one).
My sister is nearly 36 and does not follow any of those rules. Sadly, society makes her feel as though she is somehow less successful as a woman or that she must be unfulfilled because she is not married. Does she want a husband? Sure! A family? Absolutely. But she hasn’t found the right guy and has been strong enough to end relationships that weren’t right rather than feel pressured to get married simply because she’s “getting a little long-toothed.”.
It is unfortunate that the media continues to send negative messages to girls and women rather than reinforce the positive choices they are making.
BTW, I love seeing beautiful Jewesses on the cover. It makes me happy to see a face which reflects the beauty in my community.
Thanks for writing this post!
Maya responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 10:45 am →
“There are three things a woman really needs at 38: a husband, at least one child, and a dress with long sleeves.”
- I don’t know Vered. I know your post is not about this. I also know that my husband and kids are what make me feel complete. But does this apply to all women? I don’t know.
Patricia responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 10:55 am →
Vered,
These were the only kinds of articles in women’s magazines and teen magazines when I was growing up. I subscribed to MS as the 54th subscription – three weeks before it came out…
Well we did have magazines that told folks how to parent and how the mother’s were the ones at fault…and then had coupons to get us to buy, buy, buy – things we did not need…
Ugh! but it still gave me hope that you have had so many comments and that you were stumbled…this guest computer is not on stumble…
RC Rambles... responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 11:13 am →
Several thoughts about this:
#1 – Put down the magazine and run – don’t walk – away!
#2 – My brain hurts because I’ve never been invited to a grand house in the English countryside. **sob** I’m so lower-classed…
#3 – As for the article, thank you for telling us about it, since I’m only 34, so I have some time to work on the dress thing. Although I’ve never been one for sleeveless dresses – not for fashion purposes, but because I just don’t like them, personally. I have the husband and child – now I suppose I better hope the Hubby doesn’t decide to leave me, flabby arms and all, prior to me turning 38, right?
#4 – This is why I hated our layover in Atlanta’s airport. They charged for Wi-Fi, so I was left to buy and read a magazine. I managed to avoid the Cosmo, but somehow bought a Vanity Fair, where I discovered everything about myself is so not classy – from the ads to the articles.
Mia responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 11:25 am →
That’s all we need, something us to make us feel badly about ourselves. Nice!
Dot responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 11:26 am →
What kind of hostess doesn’t tell her guest what the attire will be? That stuff about the sleeves SO WRONG! Not even ONE MENTION of thighs!
I’ve also read some good articles in Woman’s Day, such as a series on women entrepreneurs, and articles on living with various diseases. But I agree with you, it’s not worth the price.
Re “Girls” – Every generation that comes along, we veterans have to educate them all over again as to the reasons why we don’t do certain things any more. I think calling oneself a “girl” or “chick” (even acknowledging the desire to sound young) is similar to those who call themselves the N-word, even though they won’t let anyone else call them that — it’s just not helping.
Re “Jewesses” – We no longer add the “-ess” suffix to words to indicate that it refers to a female. No more “actress,” just “actor.” No more “authoress,” just “author.” No more “Jewess,” just “Jew” or “Jewish woman.” No offense intended.
Carla responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 11:40 am →
I have always been naturally muscular (and now the pushups don’t help) so my arms has always been a source of shame for me. My hill running thighs too. But lately I just said screw it and wear sleeveless and shorter skirts (though I opened a can of male worms with that one:)). I am slowly getting out of my shame about my body and glad I’m not drawn to those magazines or related TV shows. I have a free unsolicited subscription to a woman’s magazine (forgot the name of it) that I cant wait until it expires. I thought it would be nice to have for the fashion photos, but I can just look to blogs and websites for that, sans the dumb articles and horrible perfume ads.
Marelisa responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 11:59 am →
How about: by 38 a woman should have enough personality and self confidence to not care if she has to put on a turtleneck over her dress at a party because she’s cold.
Sara at On Simplicity responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 12:04 pm →
The “girl” thing–yeah. Someone referred to me as “that girl over there” within earshot at my workplace last week, and I was infuriated. I didn’t even realize I had a problem with calling grown women girls until that happened. This whol e piece made me so happy to be who I am, where I am, so thank you tons, Vered!
Adrenalynn responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 12:10 pm →
Sure, I like a dress with long sleeves as much as the next girl, but OHMYGAWD!
Stephanie responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 12:11 pm →
This is why I carry a notepad in my purse at all times! I can brainstorm when bored rather than read women’s magazines. Not to mention if I do torment myself by flipping through one, I can note any horrendousness I need to remember for later.
Adrenalynn responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 12:12 pm →
Um, and also: I completely agree with the whole girl/woman-thing, but I honestly get a bit stumped every time someone refers to me as a “woman” or “lady”. Weird, huh?
Friar responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 12:13 pm →
@Vered
“The majority of women don’t see what we feminists see”.
Well….I respectfully beg to differ here. Because how do you KNOW that?
Did it ever occur to feminists that mabye some women DO see…but for whatever reason, they’ve willfully chosen their lifestyle?
It IS impossible that a smart educated woman might still like the Stereotypical Housewifey lifestyle of Vogue. That dosen’t mean her opinion is less valid, or that she’s not aware of the issues.
Same may a SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy) might like the Macho-Testosterone lifestyle in Maxim magazine.
Raag responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 12:24 pm →
Vered, Gosh you are so funny1 What a pick of a topic. I love ya.
Women magazines ! Hmmn I began avoiding them like the plague when I realized that they decimate me each time I flip through them….be it any magazine of that genre. I had started reading O-Magazine, then, with the thought that it would be as different and confident a magazine as Oprah herself….but no, that was not to be so.
So the good story of the day is many of us should feel complete with the three things the magazine propagated…man, child and sleeves. That was easy, Vogue!
A nice thing to thank about this ThanksGiving.
But, but , but I do miss the Aunt Agony Columns and the answers, in those magazines. They used to be so hilarious
Alison responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 12:26 pm →
“There are three things a woman really needs at 38: a husband, at least one child, and a dress with long sleeves.”
Criminey! I though the three things a woman really needs at any age were to be whole, complete, and perfect exactly as she is and exactly as she isn’t.
Instead, we’re being judged by our relationships (in the most “traditional” way possible) and our appearance, rather than by our character.
Suddenly I’m thinking of one of my mother’s sayings from my childhood: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Raag responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 12:35 pm →
Vered, here I would like to add to Lee’s comment…
I agree Lee, that a woman does NOT have to prove or satify to society or men. Also, a woman who does not choose to have a child should not be questioned….but in my opinion…. only a woman can understand another woman’s overpowering desire to have a child to feel complete. I think man can not feel that feeling. It is beyond anything else.
Ian Peatey responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 4:00 pm →
Vered. This made me laugh so much! Irony just oozes from your writing and I love it.
And I’d like to tell you a secret. My partner writes for one of those ‘high quality’ magazines, not Vogue … but close! And she tells me, (and this is not to be spread around, or the world as we know it might stop spinning!) that many of the articles in these magazines … are fiction … they’re made up! So we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief because maybe:
“I was forced to put an inexpensive Club Monaco turtleneck over my Zac dress”
never really happened! Ian
MomGrind responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 4:09 pm →
@ Squawkfox: Haha that’s a great idea.
@ Rivster: A parody? I wish. No, it wasn’t a parody.
@ Maya: My family is very important to me. But I would never tell a woman she must get married and have kids by a certain age. There are many ways to be happy and to contribute to the world.
@ Patricia: “Well we did have magazines that told folks how to parent and how the mother’s were the ones at fault…and then had coupons to get us to buy, buy, buy – things we did not need…” – of course. First you are made to feel inadequate. They you’re handed the perfect “solution” via ads.
@ RC Rambles: I’m low class too. No doubt, part of the charm of Vogue for many women is that it gives them a peek into a lifestyle they can only dream about. But more and more women are not dreaming about such a lifestyle anymore: they prefer simplicity and going back to basic values.
@ Mia: Exactly.
@ Dot: I’m sure there are plenty of Vogue articles that deal with the dreaded THIGHS.
@ Carla: I’m so glad you’re feeling better about how you look. From what I’ve seen, you’re gorgeous. And hey – it sounds like men find you attractive too, muscles and all.
@ Marelisa: Amen! This comment of yours is so good that I’m going to add it to the post itself. I think I will borrow the “Comment Of The Day” idea from the Blogess. Wow. You’re a smart woman, Marelisa.
@ Sara: “This whole piece made me so happy to be who I am, where I am, so thank you tons, Vered!” You’re very welcome.
It’s interesting, really: we’re supposed to read about her glamorous lifestyle and envy her. But all I could feel was pity.
@ Adrenalynn: I’m 37. My daughters are 7 and 9. I am a woman. They are girls. It’s just as inappropriate to call me “girl” as it would be to call them “women.” I feel completely at ease with “woman” because that’s what I am. “Girl” is either an attempt to belittle me, or it’s an attempt to flatter me. No thanks.
@ Stephanie: “Not to mention if I do torment myself by flipping through one, I can note any horrendousness I need to remember for later.” True. If nothing else, that idiotic article gave me an idea for a blog post.
@ Friar: I don’t have statistics of course, but in my opinion, any woman who subscribes to one of those magazines does not fully understand the damage they are causing to her self-esteem.
@ Raag: I completely agree. Reading these magazines is very damaging to women’s self-esteem.
@ Alison: “Instead, we’re being judged by our relationships (in the most “traditional” way possible) and our appearance, rather than by our character.” Exactly. It’s an awful message. I keep thinking about all the women who read it and accept it as true. I wish I could reach out to every single one of them. But the best I could do was publishing this post.
@ Ian Peatey: Thank you. I feel better now.
Bamboo Forest responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 6:59 pm →
I think Marelisa’s sentiment hits the nail on the head.
I must say – it is a spiritual victory to care less what others think. It’s something to aspire to, and when accomplished is huge.
“I don’t really read books since I started blogging (it’s true and it’s shameful) so I didn’t have a book with me.”
I don’t know if it’s shameful but it is a bit sad
Sad in the sense that books are so enjoyable!
I think it’s quite clear that at one time you were a heavy reader. I notice your command of grammar and writing in general is very high. This kind of skill is forged from a tremendous amount of reading…
I’m constantly trying to understand grammar and good writing better. So, I’ve recently started reading more.
The Stiletto Mom responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 7:02 pm →
Well, I am late to this party but I will tell you…I am 43 and my arms are not fabulous anymore…but I will still wear sleeveless dresses and shirts, and if I have to throw a cheap cover up on? Too bad. Rough economy. Deal with it and my less than perfect arms. And my less than couture fashion. I am happy in my skin and these editors can kiss my you know what.
ps…that article was totally written by a skinny kid just out of college….
Evelyn Lim responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 7:04 pm →
I don’t read Vogue but I am shocked to know that an article like this actually got featured in the magazine. I don’t subscribe to fashion magazines anymore; I don’t even know what’s in. I buy whatever’s in the stores that catches my eye and I feel that I look good in.
Thumbs up to what Marelisa said. We need Marelisa or you to be Vogue’s editor!!
Marelisa responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 7:21 pm →
Hi Vered: Thank you for the honor of being comment of the day on Momgrind
MomGrind responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 9:12 pm →
@ Bamboo Forest: It’s true that I used to be an avid reader. I’m sure I’ll go back to reading books eventually, so I’m not too worried.
@ The Stiletto Mom: “ps…that article was totally written by a skinny kid just out of college….” – I wish. It was written by a skinny, 38 years old New York socialite.
@ Evelyn Lim: Sadly, I’m not shocked at all. While occasionally there are quality articles in women’s magazines, most of the messages are very similar to this.
@ Marelisa: You’re very welcome.
Davina responds:
Posted: November 26th, 2008 at 9:42 pm →
Hi Vered. I don’t read these magazines anymore, unless I see a favourite personality on the cover. I can’t believe a writer would even be interested in writing that kind of a story. Actually *smile* I was approached a few weeks ago by a woman offering me a special deal on botox. Apparently she was checking out my wrinkles. I couldn’t give a hoot! Now, as for my thighs, well I guess that’s another story. But that’s the fault of blogging.
Monika Mundell responds:
Posted: November 27th, 2008 at 12:45 am →
Oh, what a cracker this read was! I don’t think I laughed so hard in weeks so thank you Vered for refreshing my mind. According to this article it is CLEAR that I’m NOT a complete woman. LOLOLOLOL, I think I will still laugh when I get undressed from my sleeveless top tonight.
I hope you are well, it’s been a while since we spoke.
Robin responds:
Posted: November 27th, 2008 at 4:09 am →
Oh Vered – you are such a good writer – that was so funny (in a tragic sort of way). Marelisa’s comment is great.
UrbanVox responds:
Posted: November 27th, 2008 at 4:30 am →
OMG!
those magazine’s are sooo full of BS!!!
really…
waste of time!
lol!!
Dr. J responds:
Posted: November 27th, 2008 at 6:51 am →
I love “reading” women’s magazines! Well, actually I look at the pictures. Well, as an artist, I use the photos as models for paintings or sculptures I am working on. Really, honest, I do. Word!
Urban Panther responds:
Posted: November 27th, 2008 at 6:36 pm →
Vered, Vered, Vered … go buy a book. *smile*
Jannie responds:
Posted: November 27th, 2008 at 7:11 pm →
Great call on the comment of the day!
Natural responds:
Posted: November 28th, 2008 at 3:16 pm →
i’m still stuck on a woman needing just 1 husband. actually i need two, but only 1 with “privileges”, i’m not THAT kind of girl.
those magazines are full of crap, i wear what i want and i have what i need.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: November 28th, 2008 at 5:51 pm →
@ Davina: “I was approached a few weeks ago by a woman offering me a special deal on botox.” I can’t believe she did that!
@ Monika Mundell: Glad to see you’re back commenting.
@ Robin: Thank you!
@ UrbanVox: They ARE a waste of time.
@ Dr. J: I believe you.
@ Urban Panther: Not right now… but I’m honestly not worried. I love books too much to stop reading them forever. I’m sure I’ll go back to reading books sooner or later.
@ Jannie: Thanks.
@ Natural: “those magazines are full of crap” – yes they are.
Don Mills Diva responds:
Posted: November 28th, 2008 at 6:18 pm →
I used to read Vogue religiously and I still enjoy the photography but the articles and the people profiled are just so pretentious and silly I have a hard time stomaching it. Sometimes I wonder if articles like that are meant to be parodies they’re so over-the-top…
Dr. Cason responds:
Posted: November 29th, 2008 at 2:04 pm →
I’d comment about the magazines but I’m still shocked that you can actually read one while getting your hair done. My hairdresser takes the book/magazine/organizer out of my hands and puts me to work- holding the foil. So I sit and stare at him and we talk a little, until the hair flipped over covers my eyes and I’m in the dark, wishing for another salon where I can read the trashy magazines and be appropriately horrified.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: November 29th, 2008 at 6:28 pm →
@ Don Mills Diva: Pretentious. EXACTLY. Parody? I wish. But that article was for real.
@ Dr. Cason: I was waiting for my appointment. Totally impossible to read during a haircut.
margie responds:
Posted: December 3rd, 2008 at 9:56 am →
i am a first time reader let alone commenter. i wrote a post way back in september about vogue. vogue boggles my mind. i love reading it but i have to say it explodes my head pretty often.
September Vogue
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Posted: December 4th, 2008 at 11:37 am →
[...] Articles: Women Who Say No To Photoshopping I Read A Vogue Article And Now My Brain Hurts Media Portrayal Of Women Plastic Surgery [...]
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Posted: December 14th, 2008 at 10:36 pm →
[...] am I supposed to do? Stop exercising? Cover myself with long sleeves regardless of the weather? (Vogue seems to think this is an acceptable [...]
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Posted: December 21st, 2008 at 2:30 am →
[...] I Read A Vogue Article And Now My Brain Hurts | "The article’s opening paragraph completely changed my life. [...]
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Posted: January 18th, 2009 at 4:47 pm →
[...] I stumbled upon a new blog I enjoy, entitled Mom Grind. Check out two of her articles: “I Read a Vogue Article and Now my Brain Hurts” and “20 Ways to Help Your Child Develop a Positive Self Image“. I’m not a [...]
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Posted: March 1st, 2009 at 10:46 pm →
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Suzann responds:
Posted: March 14th, 2009 at 12:52 am →
Another mind-boggling Vogue pronouncement is that it’s okay to wear fur. After all, the chic designers need fur for their creative designs. And they still take huge ads for fur companies. To me, this is like living in cave man days. Cave women, I’ll give it to them, probably needed to wear fur. But that was a long time ago. Vogue doesn’t merely show fur as an aside, they actively love the idea of wearing the carcass of a poor, tortured, innocent creature. Everything about them is bizarre.
Amos Keppler responds:
Posted: May 24th, 2009 at 8:45 am →
My guess is that they want us all, men and women to be very ashamed about everything.
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Posted: June 8th, 2009 at 8:20 am →
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Posted: July 21st, 2009 at 5:05 pm →
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