Comments on: In Defense Of Plastic Surgery

By: MomGrind: Best of 2009 | Blogger For Hire

MomGrind: Best of 2009 | Blogger For Hire — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 04:01:38 +0000

[...] In Defense of Plastic Surgery. A guest post by my beloved, real-life friend Dan Miller, who writes Artiphys, this post [...]

By: Can you age gracefully and have plastic surgery?

Can you age gracefully and have plastic surgery? — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 01:21:35 +0000

[...] over at MomGrind was host to a guest blogger recently. Dan Miller wrote a post supporting cosmetic plastic surgery in order to defy the natural affects of aging. Those of you who know me, probably thought my [...]

By: MomGrind

MomGrind — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 19:06:37 +0000

It was a compliment, Dan. I care too much about being politically correct. Anyway, I think your point regarding gender identity vs. age identity is valid.

By: dan miller

dan miller — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 08:30:49 +0000

> I’m not sure Dan is too worried about being offensive, though.

Hmmm, MomGrind, that’s not very charitable. I certainly don’t mean to offend mindlessly. It’s true I am not afraid of shocking people’s sensibilities, if I think they are being hypocritical. In the case in point, I in fact have known quite a few transgendered people. I respect them totally, they have every right to make those decisions. My point was sort of the opposite of what I’m being accused of. I may have said it unartfully, but what I meant was that radical surgery to make yourself look different doesn’t always meet your own expectations, or those of society. And yet, it is your right, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It’s not up to me to judge them and say they don’t “look like a woman (or man) should”, however it is merely honest to point out that, with today’s technology, it is not always possible to change a person’s apparent gender in a convincing way (assuming that is the goal). Much of it comes down to confidence: the transgendered people I’ve seen who come off as attractive are the ones who feel that way about themselves. That’s sort of my whole point.

What I find hypocritical here is a carefully politically correct stance about transgender, coupled with a free-for-all on putting down people who modify their body for “pure vanity”. Old people should be “comfortable in their own skin”. My point was, why don’t we say that about gender? Because we (today) acknowledge that people have a right to self-determination, and HOW you present to society is part of that equation. We no longer say to someone who feels different than their born gender, “just be comfortable with what you were born with”. We allow that they feel different, and they want to take steps to change their body accordingly.

What I was trying to get at was that while we are careful not to lay our expectations on someone who changes their appearance to suit their gender identity, when it comes to age identity, we have the same old response — live with what “God” gave you. Why the difference?

I certainly didn’t mean to offend anyone, and if I did, I apologize.

-dan

By: MomGrind

MomGrind — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 00:54:46 +0000

Wesley, I agree it was an offensive thing to say. I’m not sure Dan is too worried about being offensive, though.

By: Wesley

Wesley — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 00:31:46 +0000

You know what, actually, that line really offended me. I don’t care if it wasn’t the point of the post; he says it like it’s just something everyone assumes and doesn’t even bother to defend it. I’ve seen transgender people on TV who were gorgeous. Whenever they have one on a talk show she is always stunning. Has Dan ever seen a transgender person? I’m sure I’ve met them in real life but I can’t say because I usually wouldn’t be able to tell they were previously men except that it says on the TV show.

By: Wesley

Wesley — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 10:11:44 +0000

I know this wasn’t the point of the post but your friend needs to take a look at Nadia from Big Brother! ‘Nuff said.

By: MomGrind

MomGrind — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 23:19:01 +0000

@ Cecily: “If you’re a grandmother and have no crow’s feet, well, we can figure out that your face is fake.” – true and very well said… but I guess some people, my friend Dan included, feel that there’s still value in LOOKING young.

By: Cecily

Cecily — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:03:25 +0000

I am 27 years old, and depending on my clothing, can look 16. Actually, it’s hard NOT to. I just have one of those faces and a small build. As the married mother of a toddler and holder of a Master’s degree, I HATE IT. My mother started getting grays that showed in photographs at 25 – I would love a few grays. I found some once, and I guess they fell out, because a couple days later they weren’t there. I look like a teen mom. I would give a great deal to look my age. I’ll be thirty or older before they stop asking for my license when I buy wine.
I think there is a perception of wisdom, respectability and life-experience that comes with appearing to be older, and choosing willfully to hide it past a reasonable age is to abdicate all of that. What strangers think when my son is behaving as toddlers do out in public is NOT, I guarantee you, what they would be thinking if I looked a decent age to be a mom. Instead, I look like yet another case of “children having children”.
Not to mention, people CAN do the math – if you’re obviously over fifty and your hair hasn’t a strand of white, you’re obviously dyeing it. If you’re a grandmother and have no crow’s feet, well, we can figure out that your face is fake. And after a point, I think it starts to look ridiculous.
Brigitte Bardot is a well-aged grand-dame. Cher is a mutant.

By: MomGrind

MomGrind — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 06:07:49 +0000

@ Chris Edgar: “we learn those insecurities and perhaps we can unlearn them” – perhaps, with a lot of hard work.

@ Madeleine Fitzpatrick: I agree. It’s outrageous and shameful. I do think gays have made significant progress, but we as a society obviously still have a long way to go before gays reach full equality. I do believe it will happen, though.