Comments on: Stay At Home Mom? Protect Yourself Financially

By: Lee Robb-uren

Lee Robb-uren — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 15:30:52 +0000

Just wondering where to go and what to do. I am a stay at home mom I have been home for over 10years with my son. I have a very hard time having my son. I can not have any more children. I think ty t has hurt me more than i know. I am in a very verbaly abusive relationship and for the past 2or 3years my husband will not give me any money. He takes me food shopping and shopping for things my son needs. Iam only allowed to get the basic things I need for personal care. He does not give me any allowance. I have to almost beg for $20.00 to put gas in my car. I don’t have any access to our funds. My husband is very wealthy he was left a large sum of money when his mother passed away. He tells me that is his not mine and if I use his visa for gas or things of that nature he says that I am stealing from him. I know I have to get a job so I can out of this situation I just find it very hard right now. I am feeling very worthless. I am just looking for advice. I hate that he makes me beg him and that he calls me loser and a thef.

Just don’t know where to turn too….

By: Behind Bars: Stay at Home Mom Regret? « Good Witch / Bad Witch

Behind Bars: Stay at Home Mom Regret? « Good Witch / Bad Witch — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:35:55 +0000

[...] making the money. I should have the final say.” I don’t agree. Neither, I believe would a court, but I digress. For me, there was a general sense of malaise, an idea that my personal worth could [...]

By: Working Moms are Bad Moms

Working Moms are Bad Moms — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:06:12 +0000

[...] than their role as mothers, to keep their careers going, and to remain financially independent. Being a stay at home mom is a huge financial risk, and being a full time mom isn’t always the right choice for a woman or for her family. I [...]

By: MomGrind

MomGrind — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:04:52 +0000

Donna, you need a lawyer. See my comment above - try fatherhood.about.com for basic advice on how to find a good divorce lawyer.

By: Donna

Donna — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 20:42:08 +0000

Well, the nightmare has begun. I have been married for 12 years and gave up a career to raise his, mine and our children. We have one last child still left in the home, whose 8 yrs old. I have been a stay at home mom for most of the time we’ve been together and did not save for myself. I manage the bills, but recently found out that my husband has a separate acct, password protected in another bank that he keeps all to himself. He refuse to share the business accts with me. He gives me what he wants to for the bills and for myself. The house and some of our major bills were placed in my name because I could get the best interest rate. But now that husband has asked for a divorce, I will be the one holding the bag. I’m not sure what my rights are or whether he would have to pay for the mortgage and bills temporarily, but what’s really there to make him do it if he doesnt want to. Can anyone shed some light on this?

By: MomGrind

MomGrind — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:36:07 +0000

Maryann, I think you need to find a way to find an attorney that specializes in family law and get a free consultation. Not necessarily for divorce, but to protect your rights. This web page has a lot of good info - start there: fatherhood.about.com

By: Maryann

Maryann — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:09:38 +0000

I really am ashamed that I let this happen, but I thought my husband had mine and our kids best interests at heart; not so much….he can be really selfish and greedy. He took my name off of our joint checking account w/o talking to me about why he felt he needed to. He doesn’t leave me cash, no credit cards, and he keeps everything pertaining to money and such locked in a safe, locked in his car.

He grew up with a mother that was really mean, not loving at all. So, I see where he got it from, but I don’t think that’s any excuse. He just doesn’t enjoy spending money on anything he thinks isn’t necessary; only if it’s something he might want to do.

We’ve been married for 28 years, and in that time I took care of my mom when she was dying w/cancer, then took my dad in after her death and he lived with us for 24 years until he passed away. Also, my dad paid half of the bills. I had an extremely hard time w/my dad because he suffered from severe anxiety and insomnia, so I was on call 24 hours a day. My brother and sister live out of state, so I never got any help from them. It would have broken my heart to put him in a nursing home so I took on the responsibility of caring for him. I cared for his mom when she was sick, babysat his nieces and nephews and was always having the holidays at my home because I had a huge backyard and in-the-ground pool. No one ever offered to take my kids once in a while or help me out.

I never complained because he had a bad temper and I didn’t want my little ones to hear him yelling. I also suffered from depression, anxiety and insomnia and just didn’t have it in me what it took to fight back. Now, I just can’t take it anymore….he controls everything. He’s retired now, and watches every move each of us makes. Since he did that w/the joint checking account, I have just lost any trust I had, and I have caught him in more lies. If I keep going I could make it into a book.

What can I do to get what I think I deserve. I honestly didn’t want divorce; I put so much into this marriage and trying to raise my kids right (most of the time without him – he was either working or just would yell at them so I didn’t ask him for help). I don’t know what to do. I do want to know if I can sue him for leaving me STRANDED. He comes and goes as he pleases, and I don’t drive so I am stuck home a lot and most of the time I don’t even have money in case of an emergency. I probably should think about divorce, because the way he treats me is not love. Can someone please help me figure this out.