Comments on: Stay At Home Mom? Protect Yourself Financially http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/ Hire a Blogger Wed, 17 Mar 2010 15:36:31 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Behind Bars: Stay at Home Mom Regret? « Good Witch / Bad Witch http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/#comment-17952 Behind Bars: Stay at Home Mom Regret? « Good Witch / Bad Witch Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:35:55 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=1762#comment-17952 [...] making the money. I should have the final say.” I don’t agree. Neither, I believe would a court, but I digress. For me, there was a general sense of malaise, an idea that my personal worth could [...] [...] making the money. I should have the final say.” I don’t agree. Neither, I believe would a court, but I digress. For me, there was a general sense of malaise, an idea that my personal worth could [...]

]]> By: Working Moms are Bad Moms http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/#comment-17507 Working Moms are Bad Moms Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:06:12 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=1762#comment-17507 [...] than their role as mothers, to keep their careers going, and to remain financially independent. Being a stay at home mom is a huge financial risk, and being a full time mom isn’t always the right choice for a woman or for her family. I [...] [...] than their role as mothers, to keep their careers going, and to remain financially independent. Being a stay at home mom is a huge financial risk, and being a full time mom isn’t always the right choice for a woman or for her family. I [...]

]]> By: MomGrind http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/#comment-17077 MomGrind Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:04:52 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=1762#comment-17077 Donna, you need a lawyer. See my comment above - try <a href="http://fatherhood.about.com/cs/fathersrights/a/family_law.htm" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">fatherhood.about.com</a> for basic advice on how to find a good divorce lawyer. Donna, you need a lawyer. See my comment above – try fatherhood.about.com for basic advice on how to find a good divorce lawyer.

]]> By: Donna http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/#comment-17074 Donna Sun, 20 Sep 2009 20:42:08 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=1762#comment-17074 Well, the nightmare has begun. I have been married for 12 years and gave up a career to raise his, mine and our children. We have one last child still left in the home, whose 8 yrs old. I have been a stay at home mom for most of the time we've been together and did not save for myself. I manage the bills, but recently found out that my husband has a separate acct, password protected in another bank that he keeps all to himself. He refuse to share the business accts with me. He gives me what he wants to for the bills and for myself. The house and some of our major bills were placed in my name because I could get the best interest rate. But now that husband has asked for a divorce, I will be the one holding the bag. I'm not sure what my rights are or whether he would have to pay for the mortgage and bills temporarily, but what's really there to make him do it if he doesnt want to. Can anyone shed some light on this? Well, the nightmare has begun. I have been married for 12 years and gave up a career to raise his, mine and our children. We have one last child still left in the home, whose 8 yrs old. I have been a stay at home mom for most of the time we’ve been together and did not save for myself. I manage the bills, but recently found out that my husband has a separate acct, password protected in another bank that he keeps all to himself. He refuse to share the business accts with me. He gives me what he wants to for the bills and for myself. The house and some of our major bills were placed in my name because I could get the best interest rate. But now that husband has asked for a divorce, I will be the one holding the bag. I’m not sure what my rights are or whether he would have to pay for the mortgage and bills temporarily, but what’s really there to make him do it if he doesnt want to. Can anyone shed some light on this?

]]> By: MomGrind http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/#comment-16901 MomGrind Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:36:07 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=1762#comment-16901 Maryann, I think you need to find a way to find an attorney that specializes in family law and get a free consultation. Not necessarily for divorce, but to protect your rights. This web page has a lot of good info - start there: <a href="http://fatherhood.about.com/cs/fathersrights/a/family_law.htm" rel="nofollow">fatherhood.about.com</a> Maryann, I think you need to find a way to find an attorney that specializes in family law and get a free consultation. Not necessarily for divorce, but to protect your rights. This web page has a lot of good info – start there:

fatherhood.about.com

]]> By: Maryann http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/#comment-16900 Maryann Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:09:38 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=1762#comment-16900 I really am ashamed that I let this happen, but I thought my husband had mine and our kids best interests at heart; not so much....he can be really selfish and greedy. He took my name off of our joint checking account w/o talking to me about why he felt he needed to. He doesn't leave me cash, no credit cards, and he keeps everything pertaining to money and such locked in a safe, locked in his car. He grew up with a mother that was really mean, not loving at all. So, I see where he got it from, but I don't think that's any excuse. He just doesn't enjoy spending money on anything he thinks isn't necessary; only if it's something he might want to do. We've been married for 28 years, and in that time I took care of my mom when she was dying w/cancer, then took my dad in after her death and he lived with us for 24 years until he passed away. Also, my dad paid half of the bills. I had an extremely hard time w/my dad because he suffered from severe anxiety and insomnia, so I was on call 24 hours a day. My brother and sister live out of state, so I never got any help from them. It would have broken my heart to put him in a nursing home so I took on the responsibility of caring for him. I cared for his mom when she was sick, babysat his nieces and nephews and was always having the holidays at my home because I had a huge backyard and in-the-ground pool. No one ever offered to take my kids once in a while or help me out. I never complained because he had a bad temper and I didn't want my little ones to hear him yelling. I also suffered from depression, anxiety and insomnia and just didn't have it in me what it took to fight back. Now, I just can't take it anymore....he controls everything. He's retired now, and watches every move each of us makes. Since he did that w/the joint checking account, I have just lost any trust I had, and I have caught him in more lies. If I keep going I could make it into a book. What can I do to get what I think I deserve. I honestly didn't want divorce; I put so much into this marriage and trying to raise my kids right (most of the time without him - he was either working or just would yell at them so I didn't ask him for help). I don't know what to do. I do want to know if I can sue him for leaving me STRANDED. He comes and goes as he pleases, and I don't drive so I am stuck home a lot and most of the time I don't even have money in case of an emergency. I probably should think about divorce, because the way he treats me is not love. Can someone please help me figure this out. I really am ashamed that I let this happen, but I thought my husband had mine and our kids best interests at heart; not so much….he can be really selfish and greedy. He took my name off of our joint checking account w/o talking to me about why he felt he needed to. He doesn’t leave me cash, no credit cards, and he keeps everything pertaining to money and such locked in a safe, locked in his car.

He grew up with a mother that was really mean, not loving at all. So, I see where he got it from, but I don’t think that’s any excuse. He just doesn’t enjoy spending money on anything he thinks isn’t necessary; only if it’s something he might want to do.

We’ve been married for 28 years, and in that time I took care of my mom when she was dying w/cancer, then took my dad in after her death and he lived with us for 24 years until he passed away. Also, my dad paid half of the bills. I had an extremely hard time w/my dad because he suffered from severe anxiety and insomnia, so I was on call 24 hours a day. My brother and sister live out of state, so I never got any help from them. It would have broken my heart to put him in a nursing home so I took on the responsibility of caring for him. I cared for his mom when she was sick, babysat his nieces and nephews and was always having the holidays at my home because I had a huge backyard and in-the-ground pool. No one ever offered to take my kids once in a while or help me out.

I never complained because he had a bad temper and I didn’t want my little ones to hear him yelling. I also suffered from depression, anxiety and insomnia and just didn’t have it in me what it took to fight back. Now, I just can’t take it anymore….he controls everything. He’s retired now, and watches every move each of us makes. Since he did that w/the joint checking account, I have just lost any trust I had, and I have caught him in more lies. If I keep going I could make it into a book.

What can I do to get what I think I deserve. I honestly didn’t want divorce; I put so much into this marriage and trying to raise my kids right (most of the time without him – he was either working or just would yell at them so I didn’t ask him for help). I don’t know what to do. I do want to know if I can sue him for leaving me STRANDED. He comes and goes as he pleases, and I don’t drive so I am stuck home a lot and most of the time I don’t even have money in case of an emergency. I probably should think about divorce, because the way he treats me is not love. Can someone please help me figure this out.

]]> By: Choosing the Home-Business that is Right for You | SISTERS OF THE FAITH ™ http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/#comment-11728 Choosing the Home-Business that is Right for You | SISTERS OF THE FAITH ™ Wed, 08 Apr 2009 03:19:06 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=1762#comment-11728 [...] Stay At Home Mom? Protect Yourself Financially | [...] [...] Stay At Home Mom? Protect Yourself Financially | [...]

]]> By: MomGrind http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/#comment-11673 MomGrind Sun, 05 Apr 2009 04:35:25 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=1762#comment-11673 @ miao: You're in a tough situation, but it sounds like you've really got nothing to lose by bringing it up. Approach the subject when he's in a good mood, and write down what you want to say, even practice it. If he absolutely refuses to give you access to money, marriage counseling might help - if you can get him to go to the first session with you. @ miao: You’re in a tough situation, but it sounds like you’ve really got nothing to lose by bringing it up. Approach the subject when he’s in a good mood, and write down what you want to say, even practice it. If he absolutely refuses to give you access to money, marriage counseling might help – if you can get him to go to the first session with you.

]]> By: miao http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/#comment-11672 miao Sun, 05 Apr 2009 04:05:57 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=1762#comment-11672 I completely agree with the above comments, however i find it ever so difficult to have the financial discussion with my spouse. We have been married for a year now and I am a SAHM. We have a beautiful son with another on the way. I'm not from the states, so working is not an option right now as i am awaiting my employment authorization. I feel completely dependent on my husband at times, but don't know how to have this convo with him. I gave up my life to be here with him and have no savings remaining. I have no source of income, and he does not give me any money, unless i ask, which is VERY VERY RARELY. Sometimes i wonder if he cares that we (me and his son) are out and about with no money in pocket. He recently has given me access to his credit card but I feel really bad if I have to use it. and especially bad when he asks me how much i spent. Note I do not use the card unless its for groceries or items for the baby. I never use it for personal purchases. I often feel that he is in this marriage by himself, and is not in the marital state of mind. I am very concerned about our future, and my financial well being. I know he will always provide for his kids, but heaven forbid if we didn't work out. where would I be left standing. What should I do, how do I start this long overdue discussion. thanks I completely agree with the above comments, however i find it ever so difficult to have the financial discussion with my spouse. We have been married for a year now and I am a SAHM. We have a beautiful son with another on the way. I’m not from the states, so working is not an option right now as i am awaiting my employment authorization. I feel completely dependent on my husband at times, but don’t know how to have this convo with him. I gave up my life to be here with him and have no savings remaining. I have no source of income, and he does not give me any money, unless i ask, which is VERY VERY RARELY. Sometimes i wonder if he cares that we (me and his son) are out and about with no money in pocket. He recently has given me access to his credit card but I feel really bad if I have to use it. and especially bad when he asks me how much i spent. Note I do not use the card unless its for groceries or items for the baby. I never use it for personal purchases. I often feel that he is in this marriage by himself, and is not in the marital state of mind. I am very concerned about our future, and my financial well being. I know he will always provide for his kids, but heaven forbid if we didn’t work out. where would I be left standing. What should I do, how do I start this long overdue discussion.
thanks

]]> By: MomGrind http://momgrind.com/2009/03/23/stay-at-home-mom-protect-yourself-financially/#comment-11644 MomGrind Thu, 02 Apr 2009 23:28:59 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=1762#comment-11644 Thanks Jannie!! @ Squawkfox: I'm glad you emailed this to your friends. I want as many SAHMs as possible to read this. Thanks Jannie!!

@ Squawkfox: I’m glad you emailed this to your friends. I want as many SAHMs as possible to read this.

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