Our razors are pink.
Our laptops are pink.
Even our power drills are pink.
On a recent trip to the local drugstore, I found out that our ear plugs are pink too:
Because obviously, no woman who respects herself would ever consider sticking anything other than PINK-colored foam into her ears.
“I was followed last Friday night when I was walking home from a restaurant.”
Zan, a young woman in her late twenties, left the restaurant by herself and decided to walk home, since she only had a mile to walk. A man in a car started following her.
Zan: “He pulled the car forward and kept asking me to stop, and asking if I’d have a drink with him. I ignored him and continued walking.” Eventually, the man gave up.
After the incident, Zan wondered, “Should I start carrying mace in my purse? Is it time to take a self-defense course? Would any of those things make a difference if the guy really had malice in mind?”
There are plenty of websites who cater to this very normal fear of rape by selling women self-defense tools. I recently came across one of them. As I was reading how to properly use the “Wild Kat Key Chain” to defend yourself against an attacker (“Technique 2: punch directly into your attackers eyes. The ears will fall on both sides of the nose and bury themselves deep into your attackers eye sockets”), I realized how deeply ingrained in women is the fear of male sexual violence.
We don’t even think about it, but fear of rape makes us orchestrate our entire lives around the knowledge that men can attack us and hurt us. We limit our lives in ways that would never even occur to men. We get a taxi to avoid walking home alone; we walk in groups; we ask a male friend to walk with us. When we do find ourselves in a situation where we must walk alone, especially after dark, we are nervous and extremely aware that we are vulnerable.
When we go to a party, we must keep an eye on our drink to make sure it isn’t spiked. When it’s hot and we dress in something short, we risk being accused of “asking for it.” Maybe we should cover up after all? At the end of a date, when we allow a man into our home or go into his home, there is always the possibility that things will go terribly wrong, that he’ll force us to do something we don’t want to do, and that the case will be un-prosecutable because while No Means No, apparently a “no” by a female is still considered a weaker form of “no.”
This constant fear, and the strategies used by women every single day to avoid being raped, are restrictive. They reduce our quality of life and limit our personal freedom.
I am married to a wonderful man and surrounded by wonderful, gentle and caring male friends and colleagues. This is not a rant against men. Rather, it is a rant against our society’s failure at eradicating rape.
In a civilized society, there’s really no reason for women to be afraid of men. People are not allowed to brutally attack other people, or to take what they want by force, are they? When they do, they are punished – except for rape, where conviction rates are actually dropping.
How can this be OK? Shouldn’t Zan be able to walk home by herself, after dark, without being afraid?
Photo credit: d’n'c’
Beautiful nature pictures can make even the most cynical person melt.
Indeed, I normally tend to be on the cynical side, maintaining that while we certainly need to do our best to preserve our planet and ourselves, this is not going to last forever regardless of what we do.
I think it would be incredibly arrogant of us to assume we are the only form of life in this universe, or that we are more important or significant than other forms of life which preceded us, lived and flourished, only to eventually disappear.
I believe it’s very likely that Earth as we know it, and humans, are destined to eventually disappear too. After all, evolution has shown us that 98% of all species that ever existed have gone extinct, while new species developed to replace them.
If conditions on this planet continue to change due to global warming, at some point it won’t be able to support life as we know it. Existing forms of life, including humans, will become extinct, and perhaps other forms of life will then develop.
Or maybe it will be just the cockroaches who survive.
Having said that, when one sees these amazing nature pictures, so colorful and delicate and beautiful, one can’t help but appreciate the miracle we call “life.” When I see these images, I wonder if maybe humans can unite after all in one last huge effort to save this planet or at least make life as we know it last a little longer.
Butterfly
Mushroom
Bee
Swans
Frost
Nature’s Colors
Flying
Drinking
Sunset
Water Droplets
—
Posted for Earth Day 2009. Each of these beautiful nature pictures was taken by the incredibly talented fmc.nikon.d40.
This Earth Day 2009, let’s take a look at some simple, practical green tips for adopting a healthier, greener lifestyle and reducing your environmental impact.
Clean Up Your Food
1. Buy organic, locally grown produce. A weekly visit to your local Farmer’s Market is a great way to support local farmers.
2. Eat less red meat. The Food and Agriculture Organization of the UN says livestock production is one of the major causes of the world’s most pressing environmental problems, including global warming, land degradation, and air and water pollution.
Reduce Waste
3. Be vigilant about recycling. Don’t forget to also recycle used batteries.
4. Avoid individually packaged items.
5. Consider making your own baby food instead of buying hundreds of those pesky little jars.
6. Buy items in recycled packaging.
7. Instead of throwing away stuff you don’t need, donate.
8. Take old computers and electronics to a gathering center.
9. Instead of buying books and videos, check them out at the local library or rent videos at the local video store.
10. Reuse paper scraps and packaging for crafts and play activities.
11. Choose a reusable bottle and fill it with filtered tap water.
12. Cut up old clothes and linens and use them as cleaning rags.
13. Keep a reusable bag in your car at all times for shopping trips.
14. Use rechargeable batteries whenever possible.
15. To avoid use of “to-go” packaging, sit down, have your coffee at the coffee shop and ask them to use a mug instead of a paper cup. It will give you a nice break too!
16. Give a great deal of thought to your purchases. Don’t buy something unless you truly need it. Don’t engage in “recreational shopping.”
17. Use reusable cloths and towels instead of paper towels.
18. Use cloth napkins instead of paper napkins.
19. Consider using cloth diapers instead of disposable diapers. Not everyone agrees this is actually helpful in terms of the environment, but if you’re expecting a baby, it’s a good idea to research the topic.
20. Reuse empty jars: turn them into containers for leftover foods, for holding craft supplies, or even for original homemade gifts.
21. When packing or storing food, choose reusable plastic containers instead of Ziploc bags.
22. Sign up to receive paperless statement from your bank or broker.
23. Pay your bills online.
Save Energy
24. Don’t be too quick to turn on the lights in the evening. Are you SURE you need to turn them on? Could you get enough light by simply opening a curtain?
25. Turn off the light when you leave a room.
26. Unplug electronics when they are not in use, especially overnight or when going on vacation.
27. Replace your incandescent bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs.
28. Wash your clothes with cold water.
29. When using the washer to wash clothes, only do full loads. Small loads are wasteful.
30. Turn your thermostat down in the winter.
31. Minimize use of air conditioner during summer. Install a ceiling fan.
32. Plant deciduous trees (trees that drop their leaves in the fall). It’s a great way to cool your home and reduce your air conditioning costs during the summer.
33. Regularly clean your refrigerator coils.
34. Replace weatherstripping around the house.
35. Use a clothesline in the summer instead of the dryer.
36. Keep the temperature of your water heater down to 120 degrees Fahrenheit.
37. When it’s time to replace your appliances, buy energy-efficient appliances.
Conserve Water
38. Install a low-flow shower head.
39. Limit your showers to five minutes or less.
40. Only use the dishwasher when it’s packed.
41. Turn the water off while brushing your teeth.
42. When landscaping, consider low-maintenance alternatives to traditional lawn grass.
43. Fix leaking faucets.
Support Eco-Friendly Manufacturers
44. When shopping for clothes, check the labels for eco-friendly materials like organic cotton.
45. When you have a choice, choose organic and green products, including personal care products and cleaning products, over mainstream items.
Save The Air And The Soil
46. When it’s time to buy a new car, get a smaller, more fuel-efficient car.
47. Use public transportation or bikes as much as possible.
48. Combine your errands into a once-a-week session to minimize driving.
49. Use green detergents and soaps. Avoid chlorine bleach and antibacterial products.
50. Compost. Composting is a natural process that keeps organic nutrients cycling from soil to plants and back to the soil. You can use organic waste from your home such as fruit peels to return needed nutrients to the soil and reduce trash.
51. When looking for a home, look for a small home with green features.
52. When planning a trip, be aware of the damage air travel does to the environment and try to find alternative ways to travel.
53. Consider a staycation instead of a vacation.
54. Carpool to school and to work as often as possible.
After struggling for a long time to incorporate green practices into my daily routine, I am finally doing better. I probably follow more than half of these tips, which is huge for me. I’ve definitely come a long way since last year. But it’s not enough. My goal is to incorporate more and more of these tips until they become second nature and I don’t feel like I’m making a special effort anymore.
Image credit: pomme rewny
Today is Holocaust Remembrance Day.
The first draft of this post was titled “children of the Holocaust.” I wanted to honor the children who suffered unimaginable torture and death under the Nazi regime.
It’s been a while since I forced myself to look at photos from the Holocaust and read about its horrors.
As I was reading through awful testimonials and looking at terrible, heart wrenching photos of suffering, murder and indifference, I knew that what I really wanted to discuss here today is the racial basis to the Nazi ideology.
If we are to use this day as a day to not only remember the millions who suffered and died under the Nazi regime, but also as an opportunity to try and understand what made an evil of this magnitude possible, and to prevent it from ever happening again, we need to remember that the Holocaust happened because of racism.
The Holocaust was an extreme manifestation of racism, and Nazi racism produced murder on an unprecedented scale, but any form of racism is extremely dangerous and has the potential to lead to genocide.
Racism is the belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race. Racists believe that the value of a human being is not determined by his or her individuality, but instead by membership in a so-called “racial collective nation.”
The most coherent effort at presenting the ideological characteristics of Nazism can be found in Hitler’s autobiographical work, Mein Kampf (‘My Struggle’). In his book, Hitler presents his ‘worldview,’ which after the Nazi takeover became the political-ideological basis of the new regime.
In Mein Kampf, which was basically a system of prejudices that lacked any logic, Hitler presented a racist interpretation of world history, where the Aryan race is presented as ‘creating cultures’ and the Jewish race as ‘destroying cultures’; A social-Darwinist view of life according to which the strong survive and the weak perish; A love of war, since only in war does man show his true abilities; and a belief that Germany can and should become a world power.
Hitler believed in the biological and cultural superiority of the Aryan race. It was consequently a very important part of Hitler’s ideology that the races should not be mixed. He saw the ‘purity of the blood’ a prerequisite for the coming greatness of the German people.
The image is titled “Jewish Calculation,” and its caption reads, “We are Jews. We are destroying. She is fooled by the glitter. The Jewish name does not bother her.”
When the Nazis came to power they began to put this ideology into practice with the support of German scientists who believed that the human race could be improved by limiting the reproduction of people considered “inferior.” The Nazi ‘racial hygiene’ ideology was carried out systematically with great cruelty after 1933. German physicians were allowed to perform forced sterilizations of gypsies, handicapped and mentally ill individuals, and African-German. During the last six months of 1939, German physicians began to murder disabled residents of institutions throughout Germany.
Jews received a special treatment: the Nazis viewed them as a poisonous “race,” which “lived off” the other races and weakened them. They presented the Jews as a universal explanation to all of Germany’s problems and maintained that the Jews were responsible to a worldwide conspiracy to cause the downfall of the Aryan race.
This evoked “The Jewish Question,” of how to get rid of the Jews. Hitler’s answer to the Jewish Question was “The Final Solution” – the Nazi comprehensive plan to concentrate and eventually exterminate the entire Jewish population.
The Nazis conducted many experiments in an attempt to identify physical evidence of Aryan superiority and non-Aryan inferiority. Despite murdering countless non-Aryan prisoners in the course of these experiments, the Nazis were never able to find any evidence for their theories of biological racial superiority.
Sources: Auschwitz, Wikipedia, Children and the Holocaust, Nazi Racism, Holocaust Encyclopedia, The IB Holocaust Project, The Danish Center For Holocaust and Genocide Studies. Photo:Typical Nazi propaganda
We recently spent a week in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
Cabo San Lucas (population 56,000) is a city at the southern tip of the Baja California peninsula, in the municipality of Los Cabos, in the state of Baja California Sur, Mexico.
In 1974, the Mexican government created the infrastructure to turn Cabo San Lucas into one of the most attractive tourism centers in Mexico. The dusty desert town is now a popular holiday destination, thanks to the many gifts nature has given it: warm, dry climate, clear warm waters, beautiful sandy beaches, and abundant fish.
Cabo San Lucas is one of our favorite holiday spots. It offers a fun, casual atmosphere, plenty of restaurants, amazing golf courses and great nightlife.
Many of the restaurants are basically tourist traps where no self-respecting Mexican would ever consider dining (but we did, since we are not Mexican, and we are definitely not self-respecting):
We also managed to eat in a few restaurants that felt more authentic and had a strong presence of locals.
Of course, no trip to Cabo is complete without a visit to the local Wal-Mart for some bottled water. Tap water in Mexico is considered unsafe for tourists to drink, although resorts and reputable restaurants supposedly purify their water. Don’t be alarmed, prices are in Pesos:
A visit to Cabo San Lucas offers an interesting contrast between the beauty and abundance of the tourist resorts, and the surroundings, which are mostly poor, neglected and rundown. Even downtown Cabo San Lucas, with its clubs and restaurants and shops, has many underdeveloped areas and doesn’t measure up to similar cities in the United States in terms of infrastructure.
Last year I had a very hard time enjoying the resort, after an unplanned detour to a small, poverty-stricken nearby town.
This year, the contrast between the amazing sights, smells and textures in the beautiful resort:
And the rundown dustiness surrounding it:
Was just as striking, but I reminded myself that tourism is actually very good for the area and its residents.
So I relaxed, enjoyed my cold beers and large margaritas, and had some fun. After all, that’s what vacations are for.
Positive parenting is important to me. It’s not that I think parents need to be perfect. When my daughter tells me I’m “the best mommy in the whole world,” I hug her and tell her I’m an okay mommy.
One area where I do aim high is patience. This is not about perfection. It’s about effectiveness. I believe that losing one’s temper is completely unhelpful. Calm disciplining is far more effective and can yield long-term results, faster.
So while I have learned to accept that I’m human and forgive myself for occasionally losing my temper and raising my voice, I do strive to be as patient as possible with my children and remain calm even when faced with the most irritating, maddening, illogical behavior. If you have kids, you know what I mean.
Here are five tactics that (usually) help me stay calm:
Time outs have become a popular disciplining tool. They can be quite effective when done right. But sometimes, the one who really needs a time-out is you. When I feel anger building up inside, I often go out to the garden for a few minutes to breathe in some fresh air and relax. Sometimes I go to my bedroom, lock the door to ensure privacy (my kids, 7 and 9, are old enough to handle a few minutes without me), and rest for a couple of minutes.
Simply removing yourself from a stressful situation and taking a short break can be very helpful in preventing an outburst.
Sometimes when my kids make me angry, I look at them, and instead of allowing myself to get mad, I force myself to see how small they are physically. I then remind myself that they need my guidance and my love, and that even if they did something to really upset me, I still love them more than anything.
Stepping back from the situation and looking at the big picture of how much you love your kids and how small and helpless they are is a great way to calm down.
This is similar to the previous technique, but it’s more physical. It works like magic: when a young child is upset and yells at you “I hate you,” try – instead of yelling back or becoming upset – to simply hug them.
Even if they resist at first, they will often relax within a few seconds, gratefully melt into your arms, and the entire scene will be over.
While the previous techniques are good for handling specific situations where you feel the anger building up, this is something that will help you be a more patient parent in general.
Don’t be a martyr! Don’t sacrifice your own passions. Exercise, eat right, keep a hobby or two, and make sure you spend a few hours alone, doing something you love (napping qualifies) each week.
When you are healthy and well rested, when you’re not constantly exhausted and frustrated and bored, you will find that you have significantly more patience for your children.
Perfectionism is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. You can’t be happy if you’re a perfectionist (trust me, I should know), because things – life – will never be perfect.
Lower your expectations of yourself, as a person, as a parent and as a homemaker. Lower your expectations of your kids too. They are human. They WILL make mistakes. They will not always behave perfectly.
Set the basic boundaries – things they must never do (such as hitting or swearing), and let go of the rest.
Positive parenting is not about perfect parenting. We all do our best, and it’s not easy. But using the techniques outlined here can significantly reduce friction and help in creating a more relaxed atmosphere.
Photo credit: jenn jenn
I'm Vered DeLeeuw, a blogger for hire and a social media consultant. My social media campaigns increase brand awareness and loyalty, improve search engine rankings and drive targeted traffic to my clients' websites. Momgrind is my personal blog.
