Comments on: Positive Parenting: How To Be More Patient

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Mon, 22 Jun 2009 03:49:50 +0000

[...] Related articles: Parenting Tips: How To Be More Patient How To Help Your Child Develop A Positive Self Image Worst Mom [...]

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 10:05:30 +0000

The way we react to things I guess is the most important. I have daughter and sometimes can be very difficult. But its important to be positive and ensure we show them how to deal with situations. For all of you parents out there, a site I frequently visit that has great advice is Daughters.com. It's mostly for parents with daughters, but the advice can be used in general too. Check it out.

By: Jennie

Jennie — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 21:18:54 +0000

I don’t think there is such a thing as a perfect parent. The best one’s, though, are the ones that recognize this and can laugh at all of their imperfections!

By: MomGrind

MomGrind — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:50:08 +0000

@ Kelly: “My family is also in the process now of rearranging responsibilities and routines so that I am no longer the one doing 99% of the parenting work while hubby plays the games and gets to be the “fun one”. – sounds like a very smart decision.

I SO related with “The need to be perfect and “get it right” was ingrained in me as a kid, and at 37 I am still madly trying to undo this learning.” – I am going through the same process. It’s interesting how I have learned to appreciate occasional messes – and me messing up – as a sign of normalcy!

@ Bamboo Forest: Being calm is effective in most life situations when dealing with people. Kids are no exception.

By: Bamboo Forest

Bamboo Forest — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 17:37:18 +0000

I think this is key:

“I believe that losing one’s temper is completely unhelpful. Calm disciplining is far more effective and can yield long-term results, faster.”

I think any parent would be wise to strive to make anger a practice of the past. As you say, it *is* far more effective and *can* yield long-term results, faster.

If the parent is seeking results and is most concerned about results, I think they would always strive to stay calm. Anger is really a selfish behavior that doesn’t make a situation better, but usually worse.

That being said, I don’t generally give parenting advice because I’m not one. But, there are some obvious aspects I feel confident to chime in on.

By: Kelly@SHE-POWER

Kelly@SHE-POWER — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:35:32 +0000

Great advice here, Vered. I wish I could say I am the parent I would like to be, but I do struggle with the relentless responsibility of it all sometimes. I yell more than I would like when I get tired and Bunny pushes me too far, and while I can be very patient, sometimes I just lose the plot or have days where everything irritates the hell out of me. I especially find the smart mouth and MR know-it-all behaviour of the pre-school age hard to take – I can’t stand rudeness so I struggle to react appropriately. I think # 3 sounds like a sound idea because Bunny is very stubborn and when I can be detached about it, I know that digging in with him gets us absolutely nowhere.

I do take parent time-outs now, but for years I didn’t and I definitely paid the price. My family is also in the process now of rearranging responsibilities and routines so that I am no longer the one doing 99% of the parenting work while hubby plays the games and gets to be the “fun one”. We fell in this trap because of my husband’s work schedule and my concern that Bunny have time with his dad. But five years later it’s become clear this system has turned me into an over-tired cranky pants, while teaching Bunny that mommies are there to serve the needs of others. Not good.

But parenting is a work in progress, as is life, and when I feel too hard on myself, I remember #5. The need to be perfect and “get it right” was ingrained in me as a kid, and at 37 I am still madly trying to undo this learning. I don’t want Bunny to be so hard and unforgiving on himself, so the best ME I can show him is one who apologizes when she stuffs up, who stresses how much I love him no matter what, and who lets chaos reign occasionally.

Kelly@SHE-POWER

By: MomGrind

MomGrind — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 03:43:09 +0000

@ Sagan: “Those are also really good tactics to use for babysitters” – absolutely.

@ rowe: “You must be prepared to adjust to those changes (otherwise your life will be hell). ” – EXACTLY.

By: rowe

rowe — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 00:45:00 +0000

Absolutely true in everything you have said here. Thank you for writing this on behalf of all the lovely little children in this world who just need mummy and daddy to love them and help them learn all about their big wide world. When children come into your life, your life changes. You must be prepared to adjust to those changes (otherwise your life will be hell). And, the advice for mums to take time out is the icing on the cake here. Thank you, MomGrind – what a gorgeous name for a blog!

By: Sagan

Sagan — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 23:11:30 +0000

This is really insightful- so incredibly true! Those are also really good tactics to use for babysitters when the kids are acting up and they aren’t our own.

By: MomGrind

MomGrind — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 19:17:05 +0000

@ Stacey: “it is okay to be a good enough mom.” EXACTLY.

@ Natural: the oxygen demonstration on airplanes is a great example.

@ MiaHysteria: I’m impressed. What a great way to diffuse the tension.

@ Giovanna Garcia: I generally avoid dishing out parenting tips, but sometimes I can’t resist.

@ The Lawyer Mom: I agree: it works, and it takes tons of restraint.

@ Robin: True. Often, kids simply want attention but are unable to politely ask for it so they act out.