Comments on: Fear of Rape http://momgrind.com/2009/04/25/fear-of-rape/ Sat, 05 May 2012 12:03:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Bryan http://momgrind.com/2009/04/25/fear-of-rape/#comment-22142 Bryan Wed, 22 Sep 2010 22:08:04 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=2928#comment-22142 Your friend had one thing going for her and that was awareness of her surroundings. That is not the same as paranoia or fear, although what she experienced turned into fear. The line here is what people can or can't do, not what they should or should not be able to do. Your friend should be able to walk home by herself at night. Reprehensible as it is, there are places and times that may not be the best choice, for her own safety and not just due to rape. Be it an aerosol irritant such as tear gas, pepper spray, self defense classes, or something decidly more effective, a weapon offers significantly reduced efficacy if the bearer or the weapon is not aware of their surroundings. There is a certain "politics" that creeps into conversations such as this that makes a pragmatic view of safety and awareness difficult to address. No woman, no person, should be victimized, ever. No one deserves having something as terrible as rape, or robbery, or a mugging, happen to them. People do make certain decisions or choices that make their role as "target" more demonstrative, and that has less to do with what they wear than how they interact with their environment. Once again, something as simple as awareness and choices made if one feels uneasy or unsure about a situation can save lots of heartache later. Rapists are cowards who are looking for easy targets. This is not to say it is someone's fault-far from it. Don't make yourself an easy target. That includes data rapes. Rapists are subhuman and should be held accountable to the most extreme charges and punishments our society can levy at them. The survivors of rape, G-d bless them and give them strength. If you are confronted by a rapist, fight with everything you have and hurt that person. Do not look at them as human and fight for all you are worth. Rapists and criminals of that sort tend to be extremely narcissistic. They have no compunctions about seeing victims as little more than meat and they do not want challenges. Better yet, be aware of what is going on around you and don't put yourself in a position where you have to fight. I travel all over the world for my job, and as much as i think there are places or things I should be able to do, i don't do them out of regard for the potential consequences. I'm not afraid, but I'm not in a hurry to put myself in a position where I have to fight for my life-and trust me, i would be a far larger challenge than someone who is 5'-4" and 110 lbs. I've had two friends and one family member who are survivors of rape-that event changed their lives in a far more extreme way than choosing to take a taxi, not run at night wearing an Ipod, or to walk home with a friend would have. They should be able to do those things with no fear or concern at all. Doesn't mean they should. Your friend had one thing going for her and that was awareness of her surroundings. That is not the same as paranoia or fear, although what she experienced turned into fear. The line here is what people can or can’t do, not what they should or should not be able to do. Your friend should be able to walk home by herself at night. Reprehensible as it is, there are places and times that may not be the best choice, for her own safety and not just due to rape. Be it an aerosol irritant such as tear gas, pepper spray, self defense classes, or something decidly more effective, a weapon offers significantly reduced efficacy if the bearer or the weapon is not aware of their surroundings.

There is a certain “politics” that creeps into conversations such as this that makes a pragmatic view of safety and awareness difficult to address. No woman, no person, should be victimized, ever. No one deserves having something as terrible as rape, or robbery, or a mugging, happen to them. People do make certain decisions or choices that make their role as “target” more demonstrative, and that has less to do with what they wear than how they interact with their environment. Once again, something as simple as awareness and choices made if one feels uneasy or unsure about a situation can save lots of heartache later.

Rapists are cowards who are looking for easy targets. This is not to say it is someone’s fault-far from it. Don’t make yourself an easy target. That includes data rapes. Rapists are subhuman and should be held accountable to the most extreme charges and punishments our society can levy at them. The survivors of rape, G-d bless them and give them strength. If you are confronted by a rapist, fight with everything you have and hurt that person. Do not look at them as human and fight for all you are worth. Rapists and criminals of that sort tend to be extremely narcissistic. They have no compunctions about seeing victims as little more than meat and they do not want challenges. Better yet, be aware of what is going on around you and don’t put yourself in a position where you have to fight.

I travel all over the world for my job, and as much as i think there are places or things I should be able to do, i don’t do them out of regard for the potential consequences. I’m not afraid, but I’m not in a hurry to put myself in a position where I have to fight for my life-and trust me, i would be a far larger challenge than someone who is 5′-4″ and 110 lbs. I’ve had two friends and one family member who are survivors of rape-that event changed their lives in a far more extreme way than choosing to take a taxi, not run at night wearing an Ipod, or to walk home with a friend would have. They should be able to do those things with no fear or concern at all. Doesn’t mean they should.

]]> By: MomGrind http://momgrind.com/2009/04/25/fear-of-rape/#comment-20046 MomGrind Tue, 30 Mar 2010 00:33:19 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=2928#comment-20046 Thank you so much, Cassie, for sharing your story. Thank you so much, Cassie, for sharing your story.

]]> By: Cassie http://momgrind.com/2009/04/25/fear-of-rape/#comment-20045 Cassie Mon, 29 Mar 2010 17:23:43 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=2928#comment-20045 This makes me so angry my skin feels like it's burning. the worst part? i have no idea what to do about it. however! i will say one thing, to all women who ever find themselves in a scary situation where you know something is about to happen if you don't do something: FIGHT! Fight like you've never fought before. Fight like your life depends on it. Fight like you know it will work. Don't doubt yourself for a second, because that's all it takes. Even if you know nothing about self defense, even if he's twice your size, even if he has a group of friends circling you, even if you can't think straight, just FIGHT! The only time I would advise against that is if he has a weapon in a position where you know he could very quickly kill you.. in that case I'd advise choosing life. In any other case, you should fight. I fought. A guy at a club tried to dance with me when I was leaving the bathroom, when I refused he held onto me, when I tried to push away he pulled me closer and started dragging me to the back of the room, his friends circled around us so no one else could see. I squirmed, I yelled, I elbowed, I punched him several times as hard as I could and he let go. He called me a bitch and a tease, but he let go. Suddenly the little 100 lb girl all alone in the back of the club wasn't such an easy target after all. FIGHT! Be angry, ladies. It's useful. Believe me. This makes me so angry my skin feels like it’s burning. the worst part? i have no idea what to do about it.

however! i will say one thing, to all women who ever find themselves in a scary situation where you know something is about to happen if you don’t do something: FIGHT! Fight like you’ve never fought before. Fight like your life depends on it. Fight like you know it will work. Don’t doubt yourself for a second, because that’s all it takes. Even if you know nothing about self defense, even if he’s twice your size, even if he has a group of friends circling you, even if you can’t think straight, just FIGHT! The only time I would advise against that is if he has a weapon in a position where you know he could very quickly kill you.. in that case I’d advise choosing life. In any other case, you should fight. I fought. A guy at a club tried to dance with me when I was leaving the bathroom, when I refused he held onto me, when I tried to push away he pulled me closer and started dragging me to the back of the room, his friends circled around us so no one else could see. I squirmed, I yelled, I elbowed, I punched him several times as hard as I could and he let go. He called me a bitch and a tease, but he let go. Suddenly the little 100 lb girl all alone in the back of the club wasn’t such an easy target after all. FIGHT! Be angry, ladies. It’s useful. Believe me.

]]> By: International Women’s Day 2010 | Blogger For Hire http://momgrind.com/2009/04/25/fear-of-rape/#comment-19906 International Women’s Day 2010 | Blogger For Hire Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:32:16 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=2928#comment-19906 [...] the right to vote or for the right to own property but for rights such as the right to be free of gender-based violence, for the right to be treated equally in the workplace, and for the right to be treated with respect [...] [...] the right to vote or for the right to own property but for rights such as the right to be free of gender-based violence, for the right to be treated equally in the workplace, and for the right to be treated with respect [...]

]]> By: Abby http://momgrind.com/2009/04/25/fear-of-rape/#comment-19770 Abby Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:54:47 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=2928#comment-19770 I definetly agree that part of the fear is because of society. I read Speak when I was 11; it's about a freshman girl who gets raped at a party after 8th grade and her terrible experience and how he still controls her. I learned what the word rape meant watching Law and Order SVU when I was 8. Rape is everywhere...constantly making people aware of it, and especially telling young girls that there are rapists on every corner is going to breed fear in their minds. 6th graders shouldn't even know what it is, much less be surrounded by the looming idea of it everyday. It's on TV, in movies, in books...and then there's the casual use of it in schools. I'm 14, and people at school often say, "oh, look out or I'll rape you," like a joke. It's not a joke. I'm afraid of it, of the thought that out of 6 of my friends, one is likely to be a victim. Last summer I had 3 seasons of SVU that I would watch at night when I was bored. I didn't notice the effect on me until it was too late. And now, even the mention of rape sends shudders down my spine. I haven't been raped, or assaulted or anything that would lead to this kind of fear as a natural result. Only being told about the constant risk everywhere has seriously shocked some craziness into me. I definetly agree that part of the fear is because of society.
I read Speak when I was 11; it’s about a freshman girl who gets raped at a party after 8th grade and her terrible experience and how he still controls her. I learned what the word rape meant watching Law and Order SVU when I was 8.
Rape is everywhere…constantly making people aware of it, and especially telling young girls that there are rapists on every corner is going to breed fear in their minds. 6th graders shouldn’t even know what it is, much less be surrounded by the looming idea of it everyday. It’s on TV, in movies, in books…and then there’s the casual use of it in schools. I’m 14, and people at school often say, “oh, look out or I’ll rape you,” like a joke. It’s not a joke. I’m afraid of it, of the thought that out of 6 of my friends, one is likely to be a victim.
Last summer I had 3 seasons of SVU that I would watch at night when I was bored. I didn’t notice the effect on me until it was too late. And now, even the mention of rape sends shudders down my spine.
I haven’t been raped, or assaulted or anything that would lead to this kind of fear as a natural result. Only being told about the constant risk everywhere has seriously shocked some craziness into me.

]]> By: Ten Ways To Love Yourself As A Woman - Blogger For Hire http://momgrind.com/2009/04/25/fear-of-rape/#comment-15816 Ten Ways To Love Yourself As A Woman - Blogger For Hire Tue, 28 Jul 2009 07:03:53 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=2928#comment-15816 [...] Take a self-defense class. It’s a great exercise, and the skills you acquire could empower you in dangerous [...] [...] Take a self-defense class. It’s a great exercise, and the skills you acquire could empower you in dangerous [...]

]]> By: Lucia http://momgrind.com/2009/04/25/fear-of-rape/#comment-13967 Lucia Wed, 17 Jun 2009 01:52:00 +0000 http://momgrind.com/?p=2928#comment-13967 Its unfortunate women have to live in fear. this is why i love living in a rural community, its slightly less likely that you'll get raped... i feel a little safer when people arent constantly staring at me. i wont walk around a city without my fiance and i was molested when i was younger, so this is kind of a sore subject for me , but the person who did it to me was a woman. So sometimes i feel like i cant trust a man or a woman. :( either way what i really hate is when they say its the womans fault for dressing "sexy". Come on, that is the dumbest argument. Guys need to keep it in their pants. Thank God for all the sweet guys out there who would never dream of hurting a woman. we need more of you. Its unfortunate women have to live in fear.
this is why i love living in a rural community, its slightly less likely that you’ll get raped… i feel a little safer when people arent constantly staring at me. i wont walk around a city without my fiance
and i was molested when i was younger, so this is kind of a sore subject for me , but the person who did it to me was a woman. So sometimes i feel like i cant trust a man or a woman. :(
either way what i really hate is when they say its the womans fault for dressing “sexy”. Come on, that is the dumbest argument. Guys need to keep it in their pants.
Thank God for all the sweet guys out there who would never dream of hurting a woman. we need more of you.

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