January 2010

cleavage 1Photo by savaman

This is a short post. It’s not really a blog post I guess, but a photo essay followed by a multiple choice test.

The topic of showing cleavage came up when I was watching the Golden Globes, where many of the actresses were showing serious cleavage, and Mariah Carey especially showed so much cleavage that it was difficult to concentrate on anything other than her big, shiny boobs.

Over dinner with friends the following night, the discussion heated up when a few of us felt that showing cleavage was unnecessary and tacky, others felt that it was completely legit (the “if you’ve got it flaunt it” school of thought) and yet others were fairly neutral, saying that showing cleavage can be either tasteful and elegant (if you’re not showing too much and if you’re not too old and wrinkly), or it could be disastrous (if half your boobs are out there and/ or if you’re decolletage has known better days).

A few photos to give you a general idea of how regular, non-celebrity women are choosing to show cleavage:

Cleavage 2Photo by Michael Lehet

Cleavage 3Photo by brianschulman

Cleavage 4Photo by streetguy

And now to the test. It has a single question and six possible answers.

Question:
How do you feel about showing cleavage?

Answers:
a. It’s a fashion Don’t, of course. Showing cleavage is always slutty, tacky and totally unnecessary.
b. It depends. If you’re fairly young and you don’t show too much, it can look great.
c. Hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it! And anyone that says otherwise is simply jealous.
d. You call yourself a feminist? Breasts are perfectly natural. There’s no reason to hide them or to fuss about them.
e. Definitely a faux pas. Showing boobs is not a feminist act but rather a cheap attempt at using one’s body for getting male attention.
f. It’s fine, except for the office. I don’t want to see anyone’s cleavage/ chest, regardless of their gender and of how fabulous they look, when I’m trying to get work done.

How do YOU feel about showing cleavage?

High Heels Sexy?

by MomGrind

Dolce & Gabbana Heels

“High heels are sexy,” explains my friend D. “They elongate my legs. They make my ankles appear thinner. They give me confidence!”

I look at her incredulously. It’s not that I’m not familiar with the idea that high heels are sexy. Of course I am. We all are. It’s not even that I’ve never worn a pair of high heels, or that I don’t own several pairs of them. In fact, I have this pair of gorgeous 4-inch heels that I often insist on wearing when I go out at night. But the older I get, the more I rebel against the very idea that women’s shoes designers and manufacturers think it’s OK to design and sell shoes that cause serious damage to women’s bodies.

Shoes are supposed to make walking an easier, safer experience than walking barefoot, correct? That’s the entire idea behind wearing shoes. And yet, millions of women are buying into the ridiculous idea that shoes that make walking very difficult, shoes that can – and often do – cause a range of ailments and injuries – are sexy and desirable.

I guess the reasoning behind wearing high heels is, “if it makes me look good, I don’t care how limiting, unsafe and unhealthy it is.”

Regularly wearing high heels can cause a long list of not-so-sexy side effects, including blisters, corns, calluses, bunions (Victoria Beckham reportedly now needs surgery to remove those), lower back pain, knee damage, chronic sharp pains in the ball of the foot, ankle sprains, a painful inflammation of the Achilles tendon at the back of the heel, hammertoes, and the list goes on.

None of these sound very sexy to me.

Of course, just because something is bad for women doesn’t mean women will stop wearing it. There’s a huge pressure on professional women in formal work environments to wear heels to work (ever heard of the concept “power heels?”) which is even worse than wearing heels when you go out at night, since wearing them to work day after day, for several hours each day, really adds up in terms of the damage caused to the wearer.

A survey conducted by the American Podiatric Medical Association showed that 42% of women admitted they’d wear a shoe they liked even if it caused them discomfort. 73% admitted to already having a shoe-related foot issue. It looks like very few women are brave enough, and smart enough, to choose a pain-free existence.

I find it incredibly sad that instead of voting with our wallets and refusing to buy 8-inch (EIGHT inch!) high heels, we are opting for crazy treatments such as collagen feet fillers to pad our feet and make wearing crazy high heels less painful.

High Heels Sexy? I don’t get it. To me, you just look stupid when you can’t walk.

Loved this comment: “In the morning on the way to work I’m accompanied by a whole herd of clop-clopping young women on stilty heels. The older I get, the more style just seems to be another word for herd instinct.” Dot, Deeper Issues.

The High heels in the photo are featured at Zappos.com. They are by Dolce & Gabbana and will set you back $1248 should you decide to buy them.

I’m a minimalist.

You can tell from my blog, I think.

I hate clutter more than anything. I certainly hate clutter more than I love buying stuff.

Which makes the entire dilemma very easy for me: yes, I live in a consumerist society. I am surrounded by media and advertising messages that promise me the world if only I buy their product, whether it’s a wrinkle cream, a shampoo, or a new mattress.

I prefer not to buy their stuff. I used to enjoy shopping. But over the years I came to realize that shopping results in stuff, and that stuff takes place and creates clutter, and that clutter upsets me. So I would buy things, but then after a few months I would donate them, because they were cluttering my house.

So I stopped buying things.

I make a real effort these days to only buy things that I really need. Of course, “need” is often “want,” and even if it’s a real “need,” it’s still a need that reflects American standards of living. So I could probably get rid of at least half of what I own, and I would still have a lot.

Still, by those same American standards, my house is clutter free. I like it this way, because clutter stresses me out while a clean, clutter-free house calms me down. My cleaning person loves it too, because it makes cleaning the house a breeze.

Almost every visitor to our house comments on two things: the modern design and the lack of clutter. They all want advice on how to maintain a clutter free house, especially in a household with kids. Here’s what I tell them.

Six Tips For Creating A Clutter-Free Home

1. Don’t buy things unless you need them. Once you stop the habit of recreational shopping, half the problem is gone.

2. Everything has its designated place. Look at the kids’ playroom: it’s certainly the room in our house that contains the most stuff relative to its size, but everything there has its place. They have cubbies and baskets and containers and bulletin boards to hold everything, and once in a while we go over their things and decide what needs to be tossed and what can be donated.

playroom

3. I straighten up the house every day, several times each day. I don’t wait for clutter to build up – as I walk through the house, if I see something out of its normal place, I immediately put it back where it belongs.

4. We never just put stuff on surfaces. The kitchen counter is clutter free, because there’s no reason to put anything there – everything has its designated place, including drawers and cupboards and a basket for mail.

kitchen island

The dining table is clutter free, because there’s absolutely no need to put items on it when everything in the house has its place.

dining-table

5. I donate stuff twice a year. I use the “2-year” rule, which says that if you haven’t worn or used an item for two years, you must get rid of it. I apply this rule to everything – even pots and pans – not just to clothes.

6. I never store anything in the garage long-term, and certainly not at a rented storage space. If you can allow something to sit at a remote storage space, then you don’t need it. Stop wasting your money on storage and donate or sell it. As for the garage, it has the 2-year rule as well. So yes, my garage is clutter-free too, although it’s certainly more cluttered than the main house.

My house is clutter-free, but it’s not completely bare. That would be boring! I do have art on the walls, and a few items that I love as decorations.

The reading area has a small table that holds a few beloved items:

Reading Area

And I really like the large bowl on my dining room table:

bowl

Since the table is otherwise clutter-free, the bowl stands out even more.


In the interest of full disclosure:Yes, I straightened up the house right before taking these photos. :)

beuatiful people

The dating site “Beautiful People,” where members can “guarantee their dates will always be beautiful” has recently expelled thousands of members for gaining too much weight during the holidays, explaining that “letting fatties roam the site” is against the company’s business model.

Even when taking into account this was no more than a sleazy publicity stunt, which of course worked beautifully, the very concept of sites that help members surround themselves with “good looking people” and weed out “unattractive” people from their life is fascinating.

The obvious criticism is that these are shallow people who focus on the wrong thing – on short-term physical beauty instead of on the person as a whole. But I think it’s more than that.

Who exactly decides what “attractive” is? I had a wonderful friend, who unfortunately died of cancer at a very young age (before she turned 40). She wasn’t beautiful in the classic sense of the word, but she had the most amazing, lively, energetic personality and huge dark eyes. When I met her for the first time, I thought she was rather ordinary-looking, but years later, after I got to know her, I remember looking at her as she was sitting across from me talking, and becoming mesmerized by those huge, expressive, thoughtful eyes, thinking to myself she must be the most beautiful person on this planet.

Was she beautiful? would she be accepted to one of those dating sites? Likely not. But was her husband and we, her friends, incredibly lucky to have her in our lives? Of course we were. She was a beautiful person and a loyal friend. I miss her terribly.

Beauty is not just about a person’s looks or their measurements. We all have stories of people whom we considered as “plain” until we got to know them and realized they were incredibly beautiful. Anyone who intentionally limits their choice of dates or relationships to physically beautiful people deserves all the humiliation they can get.

Loved this Comment: “How sad does your life have to be that this club would be something to aspire to?” Jannie Funster