High Heels Sexy?
“High heels are sexy,” explains my friend D. “They elongate my legs. They make my ankles appear thinner. They give me confidence!”
I look at her incredulously. It’s not that I’m not familiar with the idea that high heels are sexy. Of course I am. We all are. It’s not even that I’ve never worn a pair of high heels, or that I don’t own several pairs of them. In fact, I have this pair of gorgeous 4-inch heels that I often insist on wearing when I go out at night. But the older I get, the more I rebel against the very idea that women’s shoes designers and manufacturers think it’s OK to design and sell shoes that cause serious damage to women’s bodies.
Shoes are supposed to make walking an easier, safer experience than walking barefoot, correct? That’s the entire idea behind wearing shoes. And yet, millions of women are buying into the ridiculous idea that shoes that make walking very difficult, shoes that can – and often do – cause a range of ailments and injuries – are sexy and desirable.
I guess the reasoning behind wearing high heels is, “if it makes me look good, I don’t care how limiting, unsafe and unhealthy it is.”
Regularly wearing high heels can cause a long list of not-so-sexy side effects, including blisters, corns, calluses, bunions (Victoria Beckham reportedly now needs surgery to remove those), lower back pain, knee damage, chronic sharp pains in the ball of the foot, ankle sprains, a painful inflammation of the Achilles tendon at the back of the heel, hammertoes, and the list goes on.
None of these sound very sexy to me.
Of course, just because something is bad for women doesn’t mean women will stop wearing it. There’s a huge pressure on professional women in formal work environments to wear heels to work (ever heard of the concept “power heels?”) which is even worse than wearing heels when you go out at night, since wearing them to work day after day, for several hours each day, really adds up in terms of the damage caused to the wearer.
A survey conducted by the American Podiatric Medical Association showed that 42% of women admitted they’d wear a shoe they liked even if it caused them discomfort. 73% admitted to already having a shoe-related foot issue. It looks like very few women are brave enough, and smart enough, to choose a pain-free existence.
I find it incredibly sad that instead of voting with our wallets and refusing to buy 8-inch (EIGHT inch!) high heels, we are opting for crazy treatments such as collagen feet fillers to pad our feet and make wearing crazy high heels less painful.
High Heels Sexy? I don’t get it. To me, you just look stupid when you can’t walk.
Loved this comment: “In the morning on the way to work I’m accompanied by a whole herd of clop-clopping young women on stilty heels. The older I get, the more style just seems to be another word for herd instinct.” Dot, Deeper Issues.
The High heels in the photo are featured at Zappos.com. They are by Dolce & Gabbana and will set you back $1248 should you decide to buy them.
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Dr. J responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 11:02 am →
As a man, I don’t have to deal with this one, and I imagine, I should be grateful for that! Being a surgeon, and having to spend plenty of time on my feet, shoes have always been important to me. Surgical clogs are a good thing, and really a nice pair of cross trainers work great. I remember when in medical school in a large city noticing many women caring high heels while walking to work in much more comfortable looking shoes. Bottom line opinion: Nothing is more sexy to me in the shoe department than a BAREFOOT Florida girl
Hayden Tompkins responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 11:44 am →
Oh, I totally agree with you here. I have a pair of flat loafers that look totally businesslike are SUPER comfy. While the women in my offices run around in heels, they also talk about how much their feet hurt.
I will say, however, that I only like dancing in heels. (Usually I wear an ankle boot with solid heels.) There is a fluidity and dynamic that I get from a taller shoe that I can’t get from a flat, which is one reason why ballet dancers dance en pointe. (Years of which will also mess up your feet.)
Nathalie Lussier responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 11:54 am →
I could not agree more! I often think that tons of things designed to make women sexy were designed by men, and they clearly didn’t think the consequences through. Think corsets, high heels, and tights/stockings. None of these are comfortable, yet a lot of day to day situations seem to imply or require them. Yuck!
If I want to wear something sexy for my boyfriend, I tend to do it at home and keep it to a few hours at most. I honestly have very sensitive feet and most shoes hurt. So for me to attempt to walk in heels constantly is just not going to work!
jelveh responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 12:08 pm →
Ok I so agree with you on this one…I have a few pairs, nothing near 8 inches, god no…but a a few pairs of heels and I wear them I say about once a year, maybe less…I have a few pairs of shoes that have what I call easy to wear or sensible heels about 2 or 2 1/2 inches and they are the flat fat kind of heel…and they are nice, but I gave up wearing shoes that hurt my feet years ago, in my late 20s I think…
However my mother who is 66 years old this year, has 2 bad knees, one with a knee replacement that went wrong, will wear high heels all the time…not kidding, the girl is nuts…
a while ago while we were trying to convince her to get more comfy shoes for walking she told Dad and I that she could not work in anything that was not a high heel, that it would hurt her feet and knees when she did not have heels on…
we found her a pair of new walking shoes that she seems to like with a bit of heel on them…but really the girl walked all over London for hours in heels while the rest of us were tired even in our walking shoes…
just nuts…
Jelveh
Peace
Tarraguña responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 12:18 pm →
I totally agree with your critique of high heels. I’ve always wondered why so many other women wear high heels every single day and then complain that their legs/feet/ankles hurt. I have been able to avoid this in my professional life and I hope to continue. I can actaully say that I do not own a pair of high heels. The closest thing I own is a pair of flats that I tend to wear with my suit.
I also really enjoy keeping up with your blog.
Betsy Wuebker responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 12:50 pm →
Hi Vered -
My feet are ruined. A stint in retail in my 20′s and later stints with CFM’s did it. I had no common sense until way too late. Bunions, callouses, plantar’s warts, and even neuroma (the worst.pain.imaginable). Now I’m all about comfort instead of speed. Shoes like the one in your photo make my feet hurt just looking at them! I even read recently that so-called walking, running and specialty athletic shoes are not as good as plain old bare feet – which feels best to me. Unfortunately, I live in Minnesota where footwear is a necessity most days. Thanks.
Lovelyn responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 2:26 pm →
I don’t wear high heels and I have to say that I don’t understand why anyone does. They are so hard on your body. My husband says that one of the things he found attractive about me at first was my sensible shoes. He also doesn’t understand some of the ridiculous shoes some women are compelled to wear. I have to admit that I do feel the pressure sometimes and consider buying a pair of heels, but then I come to my senses. Actually, then I try them on and try to walk around the store. I’m not the most graceful person in the world and high heels don’t do me any favors.
RC - Rambling Along... responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 4:27 pm →
I laugh, since I have been at professional events, where heels are appropriate, but within an hour or two, I find that I have a slight limp. By hours three and four, I am in silent misery.
I love my heels, for how I feel in them initially, but because of reality, I find that I spend most of my days in dressy flats – a tough change for me to make, since I was so used to raising my height through the use of heels (since I’m so short, I’ve always felt I need the heel advantage). Thankfully, many gorgeous shoes are now made to be comfortable and practical, too. Granted, they aren’t the “sexy” shoes, and I still feel I need heels when wearing a skirt/dress, but in my “practical old age,” I find I’m wearing more pants/suits, now.
I wonder if Prince still wears heels, and if he has a take on this from a “man’s perspective”…
ashley responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 5:40 pm →
AMEN!
I hate heels – but being 5’1″, I often wear them because I feel I ought to.
I dream of a world where we all admit what is comfortable and what isn’t – instead of pretending pain is worth it.
So silly.
wisegirl responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 6:16 pm →
isn’t it sad that we women need shoes to make us feel confident and sexy… just being should do that
Mrs. Micah responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 6:20 pm →
I wear heels in a blue moon, never to work. My first day of work as an adult I wore heels. In my case, I hadn’t chosen well and the heel snapped before the end of the first day (probably was a dumb idea to wear them while walking up the steep hill from the metro to work). That evening, I took them back to the store, got store credit because the heel had snapped without provocation, and picked out a pair of cute flats. Ever since then, my MO has been cute ballet flats. It helps that I’m 5’7″ and taller than your average woman.
I wear short heels now and then when I’m going for that “elongates your foot and (subtly) jacks your butt” look because I’m going out (or staying in) with Micah. He’s 6’2″ and heels also get me a wee bit closer to him. But even then that’s once in a blue moon.
Kim Woodbridge responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 6:27 pm →
I’ve only worn heels a couple of times and were for events like my wedding. The worst thing was that I wasn’t use to wearing them so I was worried about falling over because I wasn’t use to wearing them.
I’m not into fashion and never really have been so I don’t get it at all.
Patricia responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 6:41 pm →
the book I reviewed called “Born to Run” has a great deal of information about feet and footwear and why our feet are not meant for shoes at all – but we adapted because of sticks, stones and weather…
My church group has a fun laugh about one must wear “comfortable shoes” to belong! and many of us are the hippie generation we did not wear bras in college….
It has been great to have loved my feet more than fashion – I just got an arthritis free report from the Dr. and MRI confirmation….after seeing so many suffer with that malady – I just keep walking and having happy feet.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 9:02 pm →
Dr. J, “Nothing is more sexy to me in the shoe department than a BAREFOOT Florida girl” – loved it! I have to agree, especially because freedom and confidence are very sexy.
Hayden, it’s true that ballet also messes up your feet (and your body) if you do it for many years, especially professionally.
Nathalie, Yup, stockings are VERY uncomfortable too. Not in the same way that heels are, but I hate them!
Jelveh, “I gave up wearing shoes that hurt my feet years ago, in my late 20s I think” – you’re smarter than I am. I am just doing it now and I am in my late thirties.
Tarraguña, I wish I could say I don’t even own a pair of high heels. Glad you like my blog!
Betsy, “Shoes like the one in your photo make my feet hurt just looking at them!” – yup, I feel pain too when I look at that photo.
Lovelyn, this is exactly my point – you can’t really look good when you’re uncomfortable. Very few women can look truly graceful when they walk in high heels, and if they do, well that’s a bad sign because it means they wear them so often that they are damaging their body.
RC, you’re making me imagine a world where men wear heels and the thought is so amusing (men would NEVER agree to that), that it makes It even clearer that women are insane for putting up with this.
Ashley, Yup, silly indeed. And you’re not short… you’re petite.
Wisegirl, Yes, it IS sad.
Mrs. Micah, “elongates your foot and (subtly) jacks your butt” – hehe yes it does that, which is why we’re wearing them. But I guess you’re right – 2.5 inches work too, no need to go for 4 inches (or taller!)
Kim, I loved your wedding photo! I felt the same on my wedding day – even with a thick, sensible heel I was worried.
Patricia, “our feet are not meant for shoes at all – but we adapted because of sticks, stones and weather” – this makes a lot of sense.
Avani Mehta responds:
Posted: January 18th, 2010 at 11:18 pm →
I absolutely love high heels. 4 inch is my standard heel size. I can run in them. However, I wouldn’t dare wearing pencil heels (the one you have in picture). I prefer platform/block heels which aren’t steep. This being said, I am equally comfortable wearing shoes and flip flops. I wear whichever heel size I want to, when I want to.
Davina responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 12:03 am →
Hi Vered.
I do think high heels look sexy. I wore them a lot in college. If a woman is dressed appropriately and carries herself well, I like the look. But the worst is when women are dressed sloppily and they have this fabulous pair of shoes on that look out of place, or those women who clearly can’t walk properly in their shoes. One of my pet peeves is people who drag their feet *shudder*. I like to wear heels once in a while but these days I’m in flats or very low heals 99% of the time. When I do wear heels I can’t wait to get home and take them off!
J.D. Meier responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 1:35 am →
The beauty is you can use them for self-defense too … the spikes look dangerous, especially the 8-inch ones.
Heather Villa responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 4:49 am →
I am definitely pass the age where I believe that it’s “better to look good than to feel good.” I love the way high heels look, but until shoe makers come up with a way to make them where they don’t kill my feet, I’m opting for comfort.
Diana responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 11:38 am →
I was lucky to be raised in California, where thongs can pass for shoes unless it snows, and it rarely does! And despite being exposed to all the sexy vixens of the 60s I admired, the 70s came along and – glory of glories, Burkenstocks, which I did not wear because I never could afford them, I got by with a variety of knock-offs and rubber thongs.
Now I am in my 50s, there is no way I could force my foot into a heel or a pointed shoe of any kind! I am barefoot all day except when I have to go out. By the way, as children, we walked all over town even in summer barefoot! We used to run across hot pavement to any grass available, LOL. That just shows you how much things have changed – no broken glass (or worse) like there is now.
I did read once that pointy, high shoes are a relic of the days when women were supposed to be at a disadvantage when chased. It was a turn on for the man. I say run girl, run!
Dot responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 12:11 pm →
I guess the current craze for high heels goes along with the whole “retro,” Mad Men craze. I wish when they bring back old styles, they’d leave the bad ones behind. In the morning on the way to work I’m accompanied by a whole herd of clop-clopping young women on stilty heels. The older I get, the more style just seems to be another word for herd instinct.
Marelisa responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 12:41 pm →
Hi Vered:
I like both loafers and high heels. I think it’s important to keep a balance: don’t wear high heel shoes so often that you put your spine at risk, and don’t wear shoes that are painful, but wear sexy heels once in awhile. Keep ‘em guessing.
Carla responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 1:33 pm →
I never thought of heels as “sexy”. Stylish, yes, but not sexy per se. I had to put my heels in the back of my closet for a bit due to MS (balance issues), but do hope to wear them again at a certain point. I make sure I NEVER buy or wear shoes that hurt my feet. I like being active and a fast walker and would never wear anything that would slow me down. My heels are never higher than 3″.
MommyNamedApril responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 4:10 pm →
it’s funny – my husband could care less about heels, but i LOVE them. don’t wear them too often now that i stay home with the kids, but i get giddy thinking about which ones i’ll wear on the rare occasion we get out on our own.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 5:48 pm →
Avani, wow, you can run in 4-inch heels – I’m impressed. I can’t even walk properly in them and the ones I own do have chunky heels.
Davina, “or those women who clearly can’t walk properly in their shoes” – that would be me.
J.D. Meier, Hehe yes I imagine they would be dangerous if used as a weapon.
Heather Villa, “I love the way high heels look, but until shoe makers come up with a way to make them where they don’t kill my feet, I’m opting for comfort.” I feel pretty much the same. Some shoemakers are trying – Clarks for example – by adding padding, but they limit their heels to 3 inches I think. I don’t think there’s any way to make 4+ inches truly comfortable.
Diana, “I did read once that pointy, high shoes are a relic of the days when women were supposed to be at a disadvantage when chased. It was a turn on for the man.” – Interesting and quite plausible actually. “I say run girl, run!” – amen!
Dot, “The older I get, the more style just seems to be another word for herd instinct.” Hehe I guess it’s true. Fashion trends in general are like that. My mom tells me that she used to wear extremely narrow, pointy shoes with kitten heels in the sixties – they killed her feet (she has lasting damage in fact) but couldn’t resist the look.
Marelisa, I guess that’s where I am right now – I wear heels occasionally, those 4-inch chunky heels of mine in gunmetal color, and I look so fabulous in them if I do have to say so myself
, but I feel very conflicted about it. It just doesn’t seem right, to wear something that hurts your feet after a few hours and that makes walking so much more difficult.
Carla, “My heels are never higher than 3?. – same her… except for that one pair that I wear occasionally when going out. But those do hurt my feet after a while which made me write this post.
April, I’m sure wearing high heels once in a while and having fun with it is fine.
Frustrated responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 7:56 pm →
Seriously?
I’ve never been brought up to believe that high heels are comfortable. So, if you’re going to complain about your feet don’t wear them. As an intelligent woman, I would think you would understand and move on from that subject.
“I guess the reasoning behind wearing high heels is, “if it makes me look good, I don’t care how limiting, unsafe and unhealthy it is.’ ”
That sums it up exactly. Women know what they’re doing and if you have a hint of vanity then you’ll suffer. Not being able to walk in heels has a lot to do with self-esteem and that’s an entirely different post. Which probably deserves more devotion.
Rowe responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2010 at 9:58 pm →
Funny you should mention Victoria Beckham and high heels in this post, Vered. Here’s a quote from Victoria Beckham I found in a magazine at the coffee shop last week that may interest you:-
“Flat shoes look so comfy but I just can’t do it!” I wonder if she was being tongue-in-cheek or serious … ?
Barbara Swafford responds:
Posted: January 20th, 2010 at 12:16 am →
Hi Vered,
Been there, done that (not 8″ ones), and now prefer lower heels which keep me closer to the ground. I’m all about comfort, but will wear heels if the occasion calls for it.
Aydan responds:
Posted: January 20th, 2010 at 10:05 am →
I thought of this post today. I was shopping for a pair of closed-toe, black, professional-looking dress shoes (I’m a student, so I’ve been able to scrape by without them since my last pair). However, it seemed that almost all of the women’s dress shoes in the store had heels, at least a small one (I count wedges as having heels, though there were more non-wedges than wedges). It was hard to find true flats! And it was frustrating, because I just wanted to get a pair of sensible shoes, but there were very few choices. Had I not read this blog post, I might have settled for wedges, but as it was I had a silent hissy fit and rejected anything non-flat. I ended up finding a pair of comfortable shoes with a sneaker-like heel that were 65% off, so it ended well.
Jannie Funster responds:
Posted: January 20th, 2010 at 6:59 pm →
Collagen feet fillers is a new on on me.
Personally I wear wedge heels , 3″ high, when I’m not in sneakers. I find them very comfortable and stylish. Years ago I wore high heels for style, but never really considered the sex appeal aspect. I’d never go back to those now that I’ve found wedge heels, and I love that I can walk comfortably on them all day.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: January 20th, 2010 at 7:37 pm →
Rowe, I’m curious too!
Barbara, sounds like a sensible approach.
Aydan, glad it ended well! I agree that finding a pair of sensible, good-looking shoes is very difficult.
Jannie, it’s true wedge heels are a decent compromise – they are much more comfortable and stable than traditional heels, and 3” isn’t too rough on your feet and back.
Dominique responds:
Posted: January 20th, 2010 at 8:07 pm →
I too go for comfort over the ideal of getting something that is high heeled. Stillettos are definately out for me. The most I will get are wedges and do seldom wear them around. Most of the time it is flats or slight heel shoes for me.
John W. Zimmer responds:
Posted: January 21st, 2010 at 11:49 pm →
This was interesting. I’m kind of in the same boat with my boots. I bought them because of the macho “taller” look. As a guy I like to be more “macho” in a kind, subliminal way. They just make me feel good until I get home and my knees hurt for days after. Then I cannot jog for a while either.
Until I read your post – I did not quite figure out what I liked about my boots but it is all looks! I guess I am the opposite of sexy (anyone would agree) but a man version of your post.
Maxo responds:
Posted: January 22nd, 2010 at 6:59 pm →
As a male, I’ve never understood the supposed sexiness of high-heals. Even if they are sexy, the potential value-add of high-heals could not possibly outway the discomfort. If one needs to feel sexy to feel confident (something else I’ve never understood) it is not accomplished by what you wear, but how you wear yourself. When you wear yourself in a way that is natural for you, you will look good, and be comfortable with what you are wearing and who you are, which will show.
Lawyer Mom responds:
Posted: January 22nd, 2010 at 8:13 pm →
Neither brave or smart, I just can’t take the pain. That’s why I’d own stock in Dansko, would that I could. For me it’s their clogs by day and their boots by night. My favorite website for finding comfortable, fashionable-ish, non-orthopedic-looking shoes is shoedawgs.com. (And no, I have absolutely no pecuniary interest, picayune or otherwise, in shoedawgs). : )
Stacey / Create a Balance responds:
Posted: January 23rd, 2010 at 4:32 am →
Not sure if they are sexy, but they are very uncomfortable. I’m all about flats. I had to laugh when I saw the Uggs ad on this post, because many times when I put my Uggs on, I remember one of your posts/comments from last year telling me how ugly you think they are. lol. They are still my favorite, most comfortable, winter shoes!
Squawkfox responds:
Posted: January 23rd, 2010 at 6:03 pm →
Those D&G heels are not frugal. I’ll stick to my Keens.
Tricia @Night owl mama responds:
Posted: January 24th, 2010 at 9:42 am →
LOL FInally someone who thinks like me!! I too don’t own heels. I don’t see why anyone would want to walk with their butt at such an insane angle when trying to balance in such contraptions they call Heels.
The highest I go is 1 1/2 inches and even then I feel awkward.
My grandma use to wear crazy 6 inch heels and I always admired her for it until she reached 70 and had so many problems with her Feet and her toe nails….Oh the toe nails ewwww. Luv her to peices but that poor lady cursed high heels til the day…well …just know that she complained.
Michelle @ Find Your Balance responds:
Posted: January 25th, 2010 at 12:05 pm →
Can’t do it. Don’t care. My feet are all screwed up from heels and dancing on pointe shoes when I was younger. I’m all about Earth shoes these days!
Sire responds:
Posted: February 1st, 2010 at 5:30 am →
I may be a male chauvinist pig but I’m not all into hi heels. I prefer tight jeans and a almost revealing blouse. Not too much, you need to leave a little to the imagination. Sort of makes you wonder who women are trying to impress, because I’m pretty sure it’s not working on the men. If I know men the last thing they will look at is what shoes you’re wearing.
Vanessa responds:
Posted: March 7th, 2010 at 9:00 pm →
I’ve never understood the super high high heels, but some of the 4 to 5 inch ones can make you appear taller and correct your posture. Sometimes they can be sexy, but in the case of knee high boots, they also keep my warm in the winter!
Jessica responds:
Posted: March 17th, 2010 at 5:04 am →
I always wear heels and have no problem wearing them. I think it has a lot to do with your weight too. They’re going to hurt and bother you more if you are heavy. The gel inserts help a lot.
My only problem is I get a sharp pain in the heel of my foot if I try to walk in lower heels or flat footed.
Bill responds:
Posted: April 4th, 2010 at 7:37 pm →
I fell so much in love with the phrase “sensible heels” registered the domain name today. Thanks to your comments and this blog for the encouragement! Have no idea where I am going with the idea… no business plan or product … but if I can do anything at all to help break my society’s addiction to things that hurt women in the name of “fashion” I certainly would feel good about myself. I think designers should make their wares (wears? lol) more healthy for women’s feet – and they would … if they thought there was money in it. But if a lady will spend $250 for a pair of high heels yet not more than $100 for “sensible heels” (I have not done any research, I am making some figures up) and it cost them the same money to make both, or market either … of course they are going to make the former. So it’s the supply and demand thing. The glamor and celebrity (hollywood) markets can change also… soon as society stops paying more for the privilege of abusing themselves, panderers of public stereotypes will turn on a dime. They are, after all, known as the smart money for a reason.
Dana responds:
Posted: April 15th, 2010 at 3:51 am →
I think its your own choice whether to wear heels or not. yes, they may be uncomfortable and back breaking for some, but i find most high heels (4-5 inches) very comfortable.. but really, arn’t high heels just walking around on your tippytoes? i can run and skip in these shoes and im only fourteen (don’t think its bad parenting, i only have one pair of low heels. The rest i just wear when i go to a friends house or try on in shops). However thinking about it now, it may just be the fact that i have weird feet and naturally walk around on my tippytoes anyway.
Ignoring all that, i dont think high heels are sexy because men like them or anything. i simply find them beautiful like a work of art. There arn’t many peices of art that can be in day to day life.
Thankyou
xx
Sex And The City: I Hate It Too | Blogger For Hire responds:
Posted: May 25th, 2010 at 12:03 am →
[...] emergency fund that would carry them through periods of unemployment; and they should stop wearing 5-inch heels on a daily basis. It shows disrespect towards one’s [...]
Becki responds:
Posted: June 26th, 2010 at 7:48 am →
I am feeling this right now. It was the prom the night before last & I made the intelligent decision to wear four inch heels to the whole six-hour event. I still can’t walk properly because the balls of my feet hurt too much to put any pressure on them. At least I now know not to wear them again >_>