Post Baby Body: Stop it Already!
8 months pregnant with my first child.
Post baby body. Where did this stupid phrase come from? Implying that women should care about what their body looks like when they just went through a huge transformation and are coping with some of the biggest challenges of their lives, emotionally, mentally and physically.
Just stop it already. After I had my first daughter, even though I didn’t gain a lot of weight, it took me about a year to go back to how I looked before. After giving birth, everything was soft and loose and yes, I had wobbly bits too.
I couldn’t have possibly cared less. I had a newborn, I was nursing her, and my body was very different, but I expected it to be very different. Toned and lean and muscular? That was very nice pre babies, and it’s very nice now that the kids are 8 and 10 and I have more time for myself and can work out every day.
But during that first year, I wore stretch pants and loose tops and I was beautiful and glowing because I was not starving myself in a ridiculous attempt to lose weight fast. I was eating right and taking walks and not stressing over unimportant things such as losing 40 pounds in 7 days, which is apparently what OK! magazine thinks is normal since they photoshopped Kourtney Kardashian to make it appear as if she had done just that:
Kardashian disclosed the fact that she was airbrushed which was quite admirable. How important for all those new moms looking at such a cover and admonishing themselves for still being overweight a few months after giving birth, when it is absolutely, perfectly, normal.
In my dream world, the phrase “post baby body” would cease to exist.
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Links of interest:
Supermodel Mom Gisele Didn’t Have to Wear Maternity Clothes – where the pressure moves from “post-baby body” to “during-baby body.” Awesome.
Please Don’t Retouch Me – where portrait photographer Timothy Greenfield-Sanders explains that “I’m not unsympathetic. There’s a lot of pressure out there. We all want to be attractive and admired. What I object to is the excess, the shameless retouching, the body sculpting performed by so many magazines, and the dangerous message it sends.”
Gisele Bündchen Flaunts Her Flawless Post-Baby Body for Vogue – “Just six weeks after giving birth to her first child, the supermodel — who gained 30 pregnancy pounds — is back to her svelte and sexy self in a bright orange single-sleeve top and khaki hot pants.”
Loved this comment:
“Why is it they turn something beautiful and meaningful into sick crap?” By Life Coach Tess of “The Bold Life.”
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Lori Hoeck responds:
Posted: February 2nd, 2010 at 11:01 am →
Amazing something like an airbrush can do so much damage to the psyche!
Tara@Sticky Fingers responds:
Posted: February 2nd, 2010 at 1:42 pm →
I think she looks gorgeous in the ‘pre’ photo! Shoddy behaviour. Mums should be allowed to feel wonderful at all stages of their pre and post pregnancy, not that they need to whip themselves back into an unrealistic shape.
I personally love my post baby body – saggy bits, scars and all. They are the marks of motherhood and I wouldn’t want to hide them from anybody.
Adrenalynn responds:
Posted: February 2nd, 2010 at 1:53 pm →
The most beautiful women I know are mothers with less than perfect bodies. Like you describe so well, mothers have an inner glow that money or photoshopping can’t buy. A woman who is comfortable in her own skin and not stressing to fit some ideal is so much more beautiful and appealing than any super model!
Lawyer Mom responds:
Posted: February 2nd, 2010 at 3:05 pm →
After I had my son, I was walking the halls of the hospital and saw a brand-new mom with perfect hair about to get on a scale in the hall (why the hall? Don’t know) to weigh herself. She’d brought the scale from home. I just whistled on by.
Memarie Lane responds:
Posted: February 2nd, 2010 at 4:06 pm →
This has been a huge peeve of mine. It is now somehow considered normal to have a completely flat belly immediately after birth. How did this happen? When I was visiting my hometown in SoCal recently I passed a billboard for a plastic surgeon advertising a “new mommy body.” I was enraged. New mothers have enough bullcrap to sort through without also feeling self-conscious. I think a lot of celebrities just go in for a scheduled c-section / tummy tuck job. Can’t be healthy to smash up a battle-weary uterus like that.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: February 2nd, 2010 at 7:51 pm →
Lori, exactly!
Tara, she does look beautiful in the untouched photo. I can’t imagine why they felt that her tummy needed to be flat and her face thin just 7 days after having a baby.
Adrenalynn, I completely agree. Confidence is beautiful.
Lawyer Mom, I wonder what was she thinking? Strange.
Memarie Lane, I’m afraid a C-section/ tummy tuck combo is becoming the norm with celebrities. I remember my stomach after giving birth – it was still huge! It looked a little like a deflated balloon. I didn’t care! I don’t want any mom to ever feel self conscious about what pregnancy does to our bodies.
Patricia responds:
Posted: February 2nd, 2010 at 9:53 pm →
I looked better after each baby and it was all the radiant beauty of succeeding at these events and healthy eating – and most importantly giving best to my healthy infants and children. I much rather be known as an awesome mom than anything else.
I wish they put more emphasis on the parenting part of those events – cause the magazine girls have certainly not done much fashionably on that score.
Rayna responds:
Posted: February 2nd, 2010 at 11:23 pm →
Personally, I think she looks much nicer in the original photograph. A new mommy is a new mommy- she’s got to be allowed to remain a new mommy. Time enough for a toned body when the kids are older and need her less.
Melissa responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 3:36 am →
I cannot believe that OK photoshopped this. OK, maybe I can because it’s to be expected from them but that doesn’t make it right. And i’m actually really happy that Ms. Kardashian said something about being photoshopped – because it’s completely unrealistic and absolutely devastating to moms – especially new moms – to see something like that when you have all those other stresses and emotions in your life.
Heather Villa responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 3:57 am →
The media puts so much pressure on women to get back that pre-baby body the day we leave the hospital. It’s so unrealistic! I appreciate it when celebrities, like Kardashian, come out and admit to the photo touch ups.
Great post! I’m going to share this with all the new moms I know.
Dominique responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 6:06 am →
I feel that it is really sickening that after giving birth one is “expected” to have a washboard tummy. It is simply crazy. Now preggy with my #3 I’m already getting comments that should control my weight gain or else it may be “impossible” to resume a GOOD figure after childbirth. Blah!!
Tess The Bold Life responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 8:28 am →
Why is it they turn something beautiful and meaningful into sick crap? Thanks for your blog…it’s one of my favorites!
Kim Woodbridge responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 8:50 am →
It seems so self absorbed. After having a baby all I was thinking about was the baby – my body was the last thing I was concerned about.
And I guess it’s good that she included the disclosure – but why did she do it in the first place? Money? Pressure?
Dr. J responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 10:14 am →
Women were made to bare children, and from what I’ve seen, the process works pretty well. I do recommend being in good shape prior to the pregnancy to make the voyage easier, and to gradually re-shape your body afterward, so that, as we say in the south, you don’t “pick up a few” that you are stuck with
Davina responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 12:48 pm →
I would think it couldn’t be that healthy for a newborn if the mother undergoes a sudden dietary and workout regime. I can understand to a certain extent for health reasons, but how far to go? This cover is false advertising is it not? Enough to make people obsessed with their weight when they have a newborn that needs their attention.
Barb Hartsook responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 1:15 pm →
I had our babies before all this magazine nonsense. It took me a year too, to regain the conditioning and shape… My aunt had told me to keep running, not just to look good, but to make the delivery easier and be healthy once the baby was born. How I looked wasn’t as important to me as how I felt and what I was going to do with my baby now that she’d arrived.
I like your line: Just stop it already.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 3:01 pm →
Patricia, I loved that glow that I had with each pregnancy and birth. I miss it!
Rayna, I agree that she looks GREAT in the first photo. She actually looks plasticky on the second, but extreme retouching will do that to you.
Melissa, I LOVED that she told the truth. It was so, so important.
Heather, Thank you.
Dominique, the intense focus on one’s weight during and after pregnancy IS annoying. It’s like your body doesn’t belong to you anymore when you’re pregnant.
Tess, Thank you! And yes, I agree, what the media is doing is ugly.
Kim, I’m guessing it’s pressure. Also, magazines and tabloids these days are notorious for doing extreme photo retouching without getting the subjects’ permission first.
Dr. J, being fit prior to – and during – a normal pregnancy is certainly important. As is trying not to gain too much. But even when you’re doing everything “right,” you WILL have excess after giving birth, and it will take months to go back to pre-baby weight. I don’t want moms to feel pressured to lose the weight “fast” because I feel that it would be very damaging to them, and possibly to the baby.
Davina, “This cover is false advertising is it not? Enough to make people obsessed with their weight when they have a newborn that needs their attention.” Exactly – which is why it is so infuriating.
Barb, ideally we should all keep fit because of health and not for vanity. Easier said than done – for me too! But at the very least we should forget about vanity during those first few months after our baby is born and focus on the important stuff.
Jannie Funster responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 5:14 pm →
I don’t get the retouching. Would a photoshopped version sell more magazines?? What?
New moms need to enjoy their beautiful new babies and not be feeling they need to change the way their bodies look, my goodness. There is a ton of fluid that takes weeks to leave the body. And it may take months and months to get back muscle tone.
I love that she told the truth too.
Michelle @ Find Your Balance responds:
Posted: February 3rd, 2010 at 7:47 pm →
I imagine new moms have plenty of things to worry about besides their appearance. I applaud any new parent who has taken a shower and had a full night’s sleep, much less lost 40 lbs.!
Jannie Funster responds:
Posted: February 4th, 2010 at 8:06 am →
Oh, and I totally forgot to mention yesterday that you look super extra sweet and glowing in the photo above!
xo
John Hoff - WP Blog Host responds:
Posted: February 4th, 2010 at 10:12 am →
Yeah it really is sick, isn’t it. And it doesn’t stop with post baby, the issue extends into just being normal as well (i.e. not preggo). Self Magazine did it with Kelly Clarkson.
Just what exactly are these magazines trying to communicate to us?
MomGrind responds:
Posted: February 4th, 2010 at 10:25 am →
Jannie, Thank you! I really am not sure why they thought that the original photo would not sell. If anything, it would have sold them MORE copies in my opinion.
Michelle, exactly! You’re in such survival mode when you have a newborn, I can’t even imagine where one would find the energy to worry about their weight.
John, the Kelly Clarkson photoshopping is atrocious. I can’t begin to describe the contempt I have towards the women in the magazine industry who are doing this to other women. Shame on them.
Stephanie - Home with the Kids responds:
Posted: February 4th, 2010 at 11:48 am →
That’s a terrible message they’re sending about how a mom should look so shortly after having a baby. We just celebrated my youngest’s first birthday and I still have a while to go to drop the rest of the weight from this pregnancy, never mind what carried over from before. I’m not stressing. I’d rather focus on being fit than on a number on a scale that I don’t even own.
I have to agree with Davina that I would worry about whether the weight drop was good for the baby, especially if breastfeeding. The extra weight is there for a reason. Drop it too fast and you don’t have the reserves to make breastfeeding easier on you.
Barbara Swafford responds:
Posted: February 4th, 2010 at 2:12 pm →
Hi Vered,
I think magazines are getting carried away with photoshopping. Why? Because they can? Who knows, but it’s getting to be we can’t trust any of the photos we see in them anymore. All the more reason not to buy them.
maxolasersquad responds:
Posted: February 4th, 2010 at 6:29 pm →
As long as women keep buying these things, they will keep justifying people the production of this nonsense. It is like drugs; as long as there is a market, there will be a supplier.
Computer Addict responds:
Posted: February 5th, 2010 at 10:42 am →
And of course, the ad running next to this post is “Get back your pre-pregnancy hips in 8 weeks”
MomGrind responds:
Posted: February 5th, 2010 at 7:06 pm →
Stephanie, I LOVE this sentence: “I’d rather focus on being fit than on a number on a scale that I don’t even own.”
Barbara, “All the more reason not to buy them” – exactly.
maxolasersquad, while I have to agree that women should not buy these tabloids, one does get exposed to them even without buying them.
Computer Addict, thank you. I removed the ad.
Charlotte (Life's a Charm!) responds:
Posted: February 7th, 2010 at 7:55 pm →
i don’t approve of too much photo retouching especially if you’ll end up looking unnatural like that photo. it is unnatural to have a month-old baby and having flat belly.
but i don’t see anything wrong with wanting or actually getting back to pre-pregnancy figure after the baby’s born, especially if its done naturally (no tummy tuck) and not obsessively. I actually think it’s healthier for moms to get back or even try to get back to their healthy shape, rather than using the baby as an excuse to slack and keep the pregnancy pounds for as long as they could.
and by the way, i am so glad to have found your blog. you have very interesting topics.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: February 7th, 2010 at 9:01 pm →
Hi Charlotte, I agree! I just think that women should not pressure themselves to lose FAST. That would be unhealthy.
Bamboo Forest - PunIntended responds:
Posted: February 8th, 2010 at 1:20 pm →
Your attitude toward this should serve as goal for all women to have once they have a baby.
MommyNamedApril responds:
Posted: February 8th, 2010 at 6:04 pm →
I think she looks better in the unairbrushed picture! good for her, admitting they messed with the picture!
Kendra Wilkinson Post Baby Body | Blogger For Hire responds:
Posted: February 11th, 2010 at 2:54 pm →
[...] miracle of nature, or yet another overzealous photoshopping [...]