She was sitting with her back to me as I entered the ice cream place with my kids. She was very big – most likely not just overweight, but obese.

As we were standing in line, contemplating our order, I glanced at her. She was very young – a teenager – eating fast, holding her extra large cone in one hand, texting with the other. Was she paying attention to what she was eating? I don’t think she was. She was oblivious to her surroundings. When I caught myself staring, I was grateful that she hadn’t noticed.

That afternoon, I was thinking about the girl at the ice cream store, and it got me thinking about the Fat Acceptance movement and about how I’m not so sure anymore it’s such a great idea.

I’m a mom. I’m constantly walking the fine line of trying to teach my two daughters to make healthy choices, even when faced with countless, relentless temptations by a ruthless food industry, while keeping their body image positive. So how do I accept that girl’s choices? How do I tell that kid it’s OK to overeat and to be fat, without giving her permission to continue on this destructive path? She was young enough to be my own child. If she WAS my child, what would I have told her? What SHOULD I have told her?

Instead of talking about how we should accept fat, shouldn’t we do everything in our power, as a society and as a government, to educate ourselves about smart food choices and portion control, and to tax, or otherwise punish, the food industry whenever it knowingly shoves calories, trans fats and other unhealthy ingredients down our throats?

Perhaps our goal should be to accept fat in the sense of never discriminating against someone who’s overweight. So, we need to accept the fat, but we need not accept the underlying reasons for the obesity epidemic – partly our culture, partly the food industry’s carelessness, and partly our own choices and actions.

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