THIS Is Why I Persist With Feminist Blogging
The ideal woman? Young, thin, large breasted, and dumb looking
“For years, I was the primary candidate to fall slave to what society thinks beauty is or what a woman should be. Before I knew it I was 26 years old, 85 lbs with a fake tan, bleached blond hair, and a botched boob job.
No matter what I did, I was still not good enough. I was dating a plastic surgeon who wanted to botox, collagen, inflate, and lypo any inch of me he could put his injected, manicured hands on. I just couldn’t keep up anymore.
That’s when I found the blog world and a new venture towards learning to nurture myself and my soul. Dr. Dickhead was gone and I found a new knight in shining armor… myself.
I also found your blog. You helped me understand so much about how ludicrous our culture can be towards women, ideas of beauty and standards at which we must live by to feel successful or accomplished. All of a sudden, a new light was shed on the slights and tricks the media plays on us. Suddenly, I felt significantly more “normal” because I was seeing that the ideals and standards were never real. Before, I wasn’t aware of simple things like photo shopping and the sexism so many publications partake in.
I deeply appreciate your attention to these and so many more issues. You’ve personally helped me overcome a significant lack of confidence and pride in who I am. I still have a little ways to go, however, I draw inspiration from women like you daily and have come so far!”
Lindsay Copeland
The Appetite for Life
Letter and identifying information published with permission from Lindsay.
Photo by Beyrouth
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Loved This Comment: “I think that instead of enumerating all of the things which could potentially be wrong with our bodies, we should enumerate all of the things that are right about them.” Marelisa, Abundance Blog.
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Davina responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 11:34 am →
Hi Vered.
As I just tweeted, reading letters like this makes me realize just how much of a difference we can make in other people’s lives. This is encouraging because it shows that if you feel passionate about something to keep on with it despite the negative backlash. The rewards far outweigh that.
Marelisa responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 12:31 pm →
Hi Vered, Hi Lindsay: This letter made me think about the series “Nip Tuck” (which got weirder and weirder with each episode, and I don’t even know whether it’s on anymore). Whenever they had a new potential client come in the plasti surgeons would ask: “What don’t you look like about yourself?” I think that instead of enumerating all of the things which could potentially be wrong with our bodies, we should enumerate all of the things that are right about them.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 12:52 pm →
Davina, exactly. Reading Lindsay’s email was amazing.
Marelisa, I couldn’t agree more!
Nathalie Lussier responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 1:01 pm →
Ohmigosh! I am so happy that Lindsay saw the light! I totally understand how some of these things can cross our minds with the way our society is currently “designed”. I think it’s awesome how the internet is shifting things. It gives me great hope every day, woohoo!
Carla responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 1:20 pm →
Vered, I applaud you for bringing these issues to our attention time and again. Though we should “know better”, many of us have had these unrealistic expectations beaten into us since early childhood. Its going to take time to unlearn these unhealthy thoughts and habits. You are making a difference in our lives and that letter/email you got proved it.
David "CrazyKinux" Perry responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 1:35 pm →
Happy to see that you have such an impact out there Vered.
As my daughter grows up that certainly isn’t the image of the “ideal” woman I want her to aim for. We watch a bit of the Olympics together (well at 3yrs old watching isn’t the most accurate word! :p ) and whenever we’d see the women’s hockey or other discipline where women competed I would point it out to her from time to time. Now those are the role models I want her to have!
Keep up your positive and opinionated view of womanhood!
Kelvin Kao responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 1:42 pm →
You are truly making a difference. That’s wonderful!
Patricia responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 2:45 pm →
This is proof in the pudding – yep education is a good thing in finding oneself – Kudos to you and Lindsay for sharing…
MomGrind responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 5:40 pm →
Nathalie, I agree – I was excited too to realize that I have influenced (in a good way) someone I would have never met in real life.
Carla, thank you! You’ve been such a wonderful supporter for so long.
David, I completely agree re sports – except for beach volleyball.
Kelvin, thank you!
Patricia, Lindsay is definitely a brave young woman and amazing for sharing her story.
Bamboo Forest - PunIntended responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 5:56 pm →
Plastic surgery… I think it’s usually a bad idea. And I don’t know exactly where this “idealism” in looks comes from. As a man, I think many women are sexy and they don’t need to look like the magazines. In fact… I think some women in the magazines don’t look attractive at all.
J.D. Meier responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 6:49 pm →
It’s great how you set a model and inspire others … a champ for a cause that’s easy to flock to.
I think a lot of people are still figuring out what a good self-image looks like.
Stephanie - Home with the Kids responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 9:59 pm →
Lindsay, congratulations on learning to accept yourself. It’s a tough thing to do with all the images in the media make that difficult.
And Vered, I’m so happy you got such wonderful feedback. Knowing you’ve made a difference is so motivating.
Cath Lawson responds:
Posted: March 2nd, 2010 at 11:05 pm →
Hi Vered – It’s brilliant that your posts really are making a difference. I’d heard of pictures being touched up and stuff but I thought they just hid blemishes etc. It wasn’t until I began reading your blog that I realised the truth about all the photoshopping and stuff that goes on. Too many women have been competing with images that are not even real for far too long and I’m glad you’re raising awareness on the issue.
Barbara Swafford responds:
Posted: March 3rd, 2010 at 1:41 am →
Hi Vered,
As I read Lindsay’s email, I said, “THIS is why we blog” – in hopes of helping others.
You have made a huge difference in Lindsay’s life, and I’ll bet in the life of many other Lindsays as well.
Kudos to you, Vered!
@Lindsay. Thank you for allowing Vered to share you email. Bloggers often don’t know if what they are publishing is helping their audience, but this proves they are.
Dr. J responds:
Posted: March 3rd, 2010 at 6:57 am →
Finding one’s true self and having the courage to live that is a challenge we all face. Hopefully on our voyage, we can find support from decent unselfish people as we make our way through the gauntlet of life.
janice Sharing the Journey responds:
Posted: March 3rd, 2010 at 8:38 am →
I can feel your joy at receiving this, Vered! Thank you for sharing it with us. I hope you realise how many of us appreciate the stance you take for empowering women, and your willingness to speak up for what you believe in. And Lindsay, if you’re reading, a big hug and a thank you for helping others by sharing your story here.
Jannie Funster responds:
Posted: March 3rd, 2010 at 11:53 am →
Vered, that is just awesome how you touched Lindsay’s life and inspired her to a happier place. Bravo!
Blogging is an amazing, amazing world! It has bettered my life too, in so many ways I’ve lost track.
xo
MomGrind responds:
Posted: March 3rd, 2010 at 12:56 pm →
Bamboo Forest, “As a man, I think many women are sexy and they don’t need to look like the magazines” – I think most men feel this way.
J.D., it does feel great.
Stephanie, it’s extremely motivating.
Cath, I too wasn’t aware of the extent of photoshopping done by magazines. I’m learning too!
Barbara, exactly! This is why we keep working so hard – knowing that you have made a positive impact is wonderful.
Dr. J, it’s true, we do need others’ support. Sometimes I wish we didn’t but we do.
Janice, it was great to receive this feedback because sometimes I worry that frequent feminist blogging would be a turnoff for readers.
Jannie, blogging IS amazing and enriches one’s life in many different ways.
Lindsay Copeland responds:
Posted: March 3rd, 2010 at 7:30 pm →
I’m so personally blessed to have found this blog. The quality of the material is so thought provoking and I think quite simply Vered, you’re an unstoppable powerhouse.
I am so proud to be able to stand just a little taller, more confidently, and self assured knowing that we as woman are actually more similar than sometimes it appears. We share the same struggles, conflicts, frustrations and challenges but to know that we’re in it together, with each others support, we can all be unstoppable powerhouses in our own lives.
I am so grateful to have the encouragement and sweet words of you wonderful friends out there. Thank you so much.
Vered, thank you so much for all you do.
Hulbert responds:
Posted: March 4th, 2010 at 1:59 am →
Nice post Vered. Writing often helps us explore who we are and teaches us about what we value in life. I’m glad you got into the blogging world and split of with the plastic surgeon who was trying to change you into someone that you didn’t want to be.
MomGrind responds:
Posted: March 4th, 2010 at 3:48 pm →
Thank you again, Lindsay, for your deeply personal sharing and for inspiring me to keep writing!
Hulbert, your comment is a beautiful example of how people skim on the Web rather than read.
No worries, I do it too.
Lawyer Mom responds:
Posted: March 5th, 2010 at 1:00 am →
Congratulations to you, Vered! Thanks for sharing with us the difference you’ve made.
Dot responds:
Posted: March 5th, 2010 at 7:04 am →
That’s awesome! You’re the “mom” to more than just two, Vered.
And Lindsay shows some skill with words along with her courage in changing.
Kim Woodbridge responds:
Posted: March 5th, 2010 at 11:36 am →
Wonderful! This makes me so happy. And I love that Lindsay had the courage to write to you …
I’m with Cath – I knew about photos being touched-up but had no idea the extent they went to with Photoshop.
Tangerine Meg responds:
Posted: March 7th, 2010 at 7:01 pm →
Vered, your ‘feminism’ looks a lot like Common Sense to me. Thank you so much for your clear wise voice. M x o
International Women’s Day 2010 | Blogger For Hire responds:
Posted: March 8th, 2010 at 8:47 pm →
[...] beg to differ because women like Lindsay copeland have taught me that media images did in fact influence their decision to undergo plastic surgery or [...]
Tess The Bold Life responds:
Posted: March 9th, 2010 at 2:15 am →
What is right with my body? I turned 56 on Friday and I have NO aches or pains. That’s a flippin’ miracle:)