Women & Feminism

plastic surgery 250The email was titled “Vaginal Rejuvenation Awareness Day–You’re Invited!”

Inside the email, Vanessa politely explained that I have been chosen to participate in this “important discussion” becuase I’m a mommy blogger, and as we all know, moms endure childbirth and so have vaginas that no longer function properly and apparently need surgery to be restored back to their youthful tightness.

Vaginal Rejuvenation surgery is generally offered as an elective, cosmetic procedure, feeding on women’s fears and insecurities about their bodies, but Vanessa says this is not just about beautifying our private parts, but about treating serious medical issues. Specifically, she mentions two medical issues that vaginal rejuvenation supposedly solves: bladder or rectal prolapse and stress urinary incontinence.

I immediately consulted my trusted online sources for medical info and looked into her claims. Will you be shocked if I tell you that according to the Mayo Clinic website, the treatment for rectal prolapse has nothing to do with “veginal rejuvenation?” According to WebMD, a prolapsed bladder can be treated in various ways, and only if severe it requires surgery. Again, NOT vaginal rejuvenation surgery. The same is true for stress urinary incontinence.

I could be wrong, but I will venture a wild guess here that unlike “Vaginal Rejuvenation” procedures, these treatments do not make your vagina look like the vagina of a 12 year old.

Make no mistake: vaginal rejuvenation is about making your vagina “pretty” and tight. It is a completely unnecessary procedure that can lead to serious problems, including infection, scarring, incontinence, loss of sensation and painful sexual intercourse.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists warns against cosmetic vaginoplasty and other so-called vaginal rejuvenation procedures. If you suffer from a real medical issue following childbirth, go see your doctor and see what can be done to remedy the situation. But if you are active and healthy and doing your Kegel exercises daily and don’t suffer from any issues, stay away from these scammers and leave your vagina alone. It is perfect, just the way it is.


Loved this comment: “It sounds so shocking when we first hear about it but then we remember breast augmentation has been around for a while and think, huh, they’re cousins. Can you imagine the amount of money that goes to things like this instead of eliminating debts, feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, etc?” Belinda Munoz, The Halfway Point.

Botox 2International Women’s Day is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.

But celebrating International Women’s Day is always such a bittersweet experience for me – a reminder, year after year, that after accomplishing so much during the first three quarters of the 20th century, progress seems to have stalled during the past 30 years.

Maybe it’s because we’re now fighting for subtler rights – not for the right to vote or for the right to own property but for rights such as the right to be free of gender-based violence, for the right to be treated equally in the workplace, and for the right to be treated with respect.

We’re not there yet, and while some of my readers argue that my focus on media portrayal of women is wrong – that we have the choice to simply not consume those images, that the media doesn’t really have that much influence over us, I beg to differ.

I beg to differ because women like Lindsay copeland have taught me that media images did in fact influence their decision to undergo plastic surgery or liposuction; because many women still die every year trying to “improve” themselves with plastic surgery; because until I started educating myself, I never realized how heavily manipulated those media images really are; and because if we don’t know they are heavily manipulated, and young girls and women will not know unless we tell them, women will continue to be influenced by these images and feel inadequate, even depressed.

So what does it mean to be a woman in the 21st century in the developed world? First of all, it means you’re very lucky – by law, you have the exact same rights and freedoms as a man. You’re free to vote, to own property, to drive, to learn, to work. The law protects you from gender-based crime. You are doing so much better than your sisters in the developing world who are still being abused, harassed, raped, kidnapped, maimed, burned, stoned, trafficked, molested, exploited, and abducted on a daily basis – and in most cases, the criminals are never prosecuted, let alone spend jail time or otherwise pay for their crime.

But even for you, being a woman still means paying a heavy social, cultural and financial price. You waste thousands of dollars and precious time every year on looking “feminine.” You wear painful, damaging high heels and restrictive clothes, cover your “imperfections” with makeup, dye your hair to look “better” or “younger,” spend a fortune on anti-aging creams that don’t work, undergo dangerous plastic surgery, deadly liposuction and painful hair removal. You work hard but earn less than men do, work harder and get reprimanded for being a “bad mom.” You play like the guys and are labeled as a bitch, play nice and stay behind.

As the mother of two bright, talented young girls it pains me to say this, but in the 21st century, in the developed world, being a woman is still a major liability.


Loved this Comment: “for the last ten years, the annual wages for females has been stalled in the high 70% bracket. Granted, it’s better than the 60% +/- we saw up until 1990, but we still have a long road ahead of us. It’s really no wonder more women are becoming business owners and taking the ball into their own hands and gaining control of their own income.” Barbara Swafford, Blogging Without A Blog.

victorias secret model
The ideal woman? Young, thin, large breasted, and dumb looking

“For years, I was the primary candidate to fall slave to what society thinks beauty is or what a woman should be. Before I knew it I was 26 years old, 85 lbs with a fake tan, bleached blond hair, and a botched boob job.

No matter what I did, I was still not good enough. I was dating a plastic surgeon who wanted to botox, collagen, inflate, and lypo any inch of me he could put his injected, manicured hands on. I just couldn’t keep up anymore.

That’s when I found the blog world and a new venture towards learning to nurture myself and my soul. Dr. Dickhead was gone and I found a new knight in shining armor… myself.

I also found your blog. You helped me understand so much about how ludicrous our culture can be towards women, ideas of beauty and standards at which we must live by to feel successful or accomplished. All of a sudden, a new light was shed on the slights and tricks the media plays on us. Suddenly, I felt significantly more “normal” because I was seeing that the ideals and standards were never real. Before, I wasn’t aware of simple things like photo shopping and the sexism so many publications partake in.

I deeply appreciate your attention to these and so many more issues. You’ve personally helped me overcome a significant lack of confidence and pride in who I am. I still have a little ways to go, however, I draw inspiration from women like you daily and have come so far!”

Lindsay Copeland
The Appetite for Life

Letter and identifying information published with permission from Lindsay.

Photo by Beyrouth

A mere eight weeks after giving birth, Kendra Wilkinson looks amazingly svelte on this OK! Magazine cover:

Kendra Wilkinson Post Baby Body

A miracle of nature, or yet another overzealous photoshopping job?

pregnant woman
8 months pregnant with my first child. Not skinny.

Post baby body. Where did this stupid phrase come from? Implying that women should care about what their body looks like when they just went through a huge transformation and are coping with some of the biggest challenges of their lives, emotionally, mentally and physically.

Just stop it already. After I had my first daughter, even though I didn’t gain a lot of weight, it took me about a year to go back to how I looked before. After giving birth, everything was soft and loose and yes, I had wobbly bits too.

I couldn’t have possibly cared less. I had a newborn, I was nursing her, and my body was very different, but I expected it to be very different. Toned and lean and muscular? That was very nice pre babies, and it’s very nice now that the kids are 8 and 10 and I have more time for myself and can work out every day.

But during that first year, I wore stretch pants and loose tops and I was beautiful and glowing because I was not starving myself in a ridiculous attempt to lose weight fast. I was eating right and taking walks and not stressing over unimportant things such as losing 40 pounds in 7 days, which is apparently what OK! magazine thinks is normal since they photoshopped Kourtney Kardashian to make it appear as if she had done just that:

kardashian post baby

Kardashian disclosed the fact that she was airbrushed which was quite admirable. How important for all those new moms looking at such a cover and admonishing themselves for still being overweight a few months after giving birth, when it is absolutely, perfectly, normal.

In my dream world, the phrase “post baby body” would cease to exist.

High Heels Sexy?

by MomGrind

Dolce & Gabbana Heels

“High heels are sexy,” explains my friend D. “They elongate my legs. They make my ankles appear thinner. They give me confidence!”

I look at her incredulously. It’s not that I’m not familiar with the idea that high heels are sexy. Of course I am. We all are. It’s not even that I’ve never worn a pair of high heels, or that I don’t own several pairs of them. In fact, I have this pair of gorgeous 4-inch heels that I often insist on wearing when I go out at night. But the older I get, the more I rebel against the very idea that women’s shoes designers and manufacturers think it’s OK to design and sell shoes that cause serious damage to women’s bodies.

Shoes are supposed to make walking an easier, safer experience than walking barefoot, correct? That’s the entire idea behind wearing shoes. And yet, millions of women are buying into the ridiculous idea that shoes that make walking very difficult, shoes that can – and often do – cause a range of ailments and injuries – are sexy and desirable.

I guess the reasoning behind wearing high heels is, “if it makes me look good, I don’t care how limiting, unsafe and unhealthy it is.”

Regularly wearing high heels can cause a long list of not-so-sexy side effects, including blisters, corns, calluses, bunions (Victoria Beckham reportedly now needs surgery to remove those), lower back pain, knee damage, chronic sharp pains in the ball of the foot, ankle sprains, a painful inflammation of the Achilles tendon at the back of the heel, hammertoes, and the list goes on.

None of these sound very sexy to me.

Of course, just because something is bad for women doesn’t mean women will stop wearing it. There’s a huge pressure on professional women in formal work environments to wear heels to work (ever heard of the concept “power heels?”) which is even worse than wearing heels when you go out at night, since wearing them to work day after day, for several hours each day, really adds up in terms of the damage caused to the wearer.

A survey conducted by the American Podiatric Medical Association showed that 42% of women admitted they’d wear a shoe they liked even if it caused them discomfort. 73% admitted to already having a shoe-related foot issue. It looks like very few women are brave enough, and smart enough, to choose a pain-free existence.

I find it incredibly sad that instead of voting with our wallets and refusing to buy 8-inch (EIGHT inch!) high heels, we are opting for crazy treatments such as collagen feet fillers to pad our feet and make wearing crazy high heels less painful.

High Heels Sexy? I don’t get it. To me, you just look stupid when you can’t walk.

Loved this comment: “In the morning on the way to work I’m accompanied by a whole herd of clop-clopping young women on stilty heels. The older I get, the more style just seems to be another word for herd instinct.” Dot, Deeper Issues.

The High heels in the photo are featured at Zappos.com. They are by Dolce & Gabbana and will set you back $1248 should you decide to buy them.

Solange MagnanoFormer Miss Argentina Solange Magnano wanted a firmer butt and ended up dead after complications from plastic surgery.

Her exact cause of death is still under investigation, so it’s unclear whether it was just bad luck (a certain percent of cosmetic surgeries does lead to death- just do a Google search for “plastic surgery deaths”) or if there was any form of malpractice involved.

Ms. Magnano, who was the mother of 7 year old twins, is not the only person to have ever died of plastic surgery complications, of course. I think the media is having a little fun with the fact that it was buttocks surgery. How unfortunate, to always be remembered as the person who died after having elective butt surgery.

Although deaths following plastic surgery are relatively rare, my humble opinion is that death from cosmetic surgery is never acceptable.

Since the risk apparently can’t be completely eliminated, even if you go to a board certified, reputable doctor (surgery is surgery, after all), each person who elects to undergo cosmetic surgery needs to decide if the improvement in their appearance, and in their quality of life following the surgery is worth the risk – however small – of serious complications and of death.

My heart goes out to Ms. Magnano’s children.