I just learned that Wesley, whom I briefly met online, a brilliant, extremely sensitive young man, took his own life on October 11th.
Dear Wesley, We knew each other on a very superficial level, but I knew you were in pain – you had to be, you were so sensitive. But I had no idea it was that bad for you.
I am so sorry Wesley that you couldn’t take it any more. Your mom says on the Facebook group that was started in you memory that you were extremely lonely. I wish I could have reached out to you and told you to keep going. Life can get lonely, I know, but it can also change in a second and become amazing when you suddenly meet someone and fall in love with them. Or when you make a new, close, lasting friendship.
Falling in love, being in a long-term, committed relationship, starting your own family, developing new friendships, finding the best career for you, pursuing your passions and realizing your dreams – none of this will happen to you now. You died too young.
When I wrote this post, I wrote it to help you. I knew you were hurting because of the lack of attention your blog was getting. You were desperate to get more readers, and I wanted to help you put things in perspective. Reading it now, I doubt you thought it was very helpful. You were hurting, and craving connection, on a much deeper level than I could possibly understand.
I just talked with my children about you, and I told them this: No matter how bad things get, never ever give up. We can’t look into the future, so we don’t know what life will be like a month, a year, or five years from now. When the “now” becomes bad, even unbearable, try to see beyond it, and have faith that the future will be better. So much better, that it’s worth to keep living, just to find out how much better it can get.
May you rest in peace, Wesley. I am so sorry you were in so much pain. I am so sorry I never had a chance to ask you to keep going.
I am so sorry we have lost you.